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do you think this is right or wrong?
last night, i was reading one of my magazine, and i think it was Parents magazine but I am not sure since I get a few babyr elated ones. There's an advice column called Ask Judy.
The writer-in agreed to let her dd be a flowergirl in a cousin's wedding, and then the cousin chose a $350 dress for the kid. It was out of her budget to pay for, and she didn't know what to do.
Judy replied that she should tell the bride - great - now i know what syle you are looking for. maybe i can search and find some similar ones that cost less. if bride says np, she wants that dress, then you have no choice but to get the dress since you agreed to have your child in the wedding and it's a lesson learned about checking the expectations before you agree to anything.
I thought Judy was off her freakin' rocker.
if bride insists, you pull your kid from the event. you tell her that you cannot buy a $350 dress and you are sorry that you didn't realize this was a requirement. her wedding will go on, with or without a flower girl. it's not day of...and i think $350 is ridiculous for a child's dress even if you were a multi-millionaire. and who would think that anyone would even suggest something so expensive to a parent? that would be furthest from my mind when saying yes to this request.
i have an amount in my head that i would likely go up to on such a dress - one that needed to be specially ordered to coordinate with the bridal party or whatever. it is way over the cost of most dept store fancy girl dresses, but way under that $350.
so, is judy right or is she crazy?
Re: do you think this is right or wrong?
Judy is nutso. The bride should have consulted with the parents first to see what their budget was. I agree with you and I would tell the bride that the price isn't in the budget and let the bride decide if she wants to find something more reasonably priced or exclude your daughter from the wedding.
Not for nothing, but I would assume that even for bridesmaids you wouldn't choose something over $200, regardless of their budgets. And I kept mine under $150 (and asked the girls first to make sure it was within their budget). A flower girl dress should never be that expensive. Unless, maybe it's the Royal Wedding
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Judy and the bride can both go f*** themselves.
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i feel like i can skip judy's column from now on since i don't think she gives very good advice!
if i were more eloquent, i'd write a response to the magazine because i think it is absolutely terrible to make anyone feel that they are obligated to follow thru BEYOND THEIR MEANS - um, hello financial crisis?! Heck, even if it were in my means, it's not someone else's call on how to spend my money.
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I think you're absolutely right, and if I was more eloquent I would def write to many advice columns because I find most of the advice ridiculous!
My flowergirls wore hand-me-down dresses from their cousins. The cost? FREE. (They got lucky . . . their cousins were in a wedding the year before with the same color scheme.)
Flowergirl dresses are not usually dresses that can be worn again. I wouldn't spend $350 on a dress for myself, so I would never ask someone to spend it on a dress that I'm asking them to buy for their kid. That being said, when I planned my wedding, I had a pretty unlimited budget (thanks, daddy.) If I had chosen different dresses for my flower girls, it would have been paid for by my family. I just wouldn't have put that cost on the parent. Seems rude.
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Judy is off her rocker and if she thinks that is reasonable then maybe SHE should pay for the dress. Outrageous.
For my wedding, I had the mom of the flower girl choose the dress. I just asked that it have thicker straps or sleeves (not spaghetti straps for modesty b/c ceremony was in our Orthodox church), fall below the knee and have a light blue accent somewhere on it.
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That advice is all sorts of stupid. It seems like a reasonable person would assume a FG dress averaged b/w $50-$100. I bought my two FG dresses for much less than $50 (yay for Macy's Easter selection and coupons) and I rarely saw FG dresses online that you had to spend more than $100 on.
Now, if the mother complained that she had to spend something like $25, she's wrong. I thing the key is staying within a standard deviation or two of the mean.
Some people are just crazy. I hope the bride has the money to back her tastes up when she has her own kids.