Philadelphia Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Dear porn star boobs,
why o why do you have to be so large.
undersigned, lachute
Re: Dear John Letters Here.
dear digestive system,
can you please stop feeling so icky so i can quickly decide what to eat for lunch before my 2p conference call? thanks!
dear overly competitive co-worker,
yes, i am younger than you. yes, we have the same degree. yes, the boss trusts me more. this does not mean you need to meet every one of my comments or emails as a complete attack on you and your work product. let's play nice on the 2p call. i am not in the mood to do otherwise and you just make yourself look stupid and petty.
Dear Mazda3,
You're only 5 years old and yet your check engine light comes on about three times a year. Can you please cut the crap and deal with the fact that it's just the $hitty gas cap Mazda decided to fit you with.
kthanksbye
Dear Mattress,
Please transform yourself from a hard slab of rock that I loved when we first bought only 3 short years ago, into a soft comfy pillow top that is like sleeping on a cloud for this pregnant uncomfortable beast.
Regards,
Exhausted in Montco
Dear left hip/IT band,
Please cooperate with me on Sunday. I would like to be able to actually run the Broad Street Run for most, if not all of the race. I have worked really hard to get to 10 miles. I am doing all the right things to keep you happy...I'm begging you.
Dear kidney stones,
Please stop harrassing my dad. Don't you think 50+ procedures in 30 years is enough? I do. He's a nice man and the hospital doesn't get Comcast or AM radio and he can't watch or listen to the Phils. This is getting silly.
Dear swollen legs, ankles and feet,
I don't mind if you swell a little bit but I'm to the point where I can't even put flip flops on and it's like I'm always walking in ski boots. My ankles no longer bend 24 hours a day. My feet are so painful that when I walk it feels like the tops of my feet are going to burst/rip open. When I walk, everyone stares at my huge feet and it's kind of embarrassing. I'm also tired of people saying, "OMG does your doctor know it's THAT bad?!"
So, if you could please slow your roll for the next 5 weeks, I would greatly appreciate it.
Signed,
Elephantiasis Feet in Bucks
Dear Brain,
Stop letting food enter my mouth.
Signed,
A bridesmaid with a tight @ss dress
We can switch. DH and I got a half hard half soft mattress which I loved pre pregnancy..... now all I want is a hard slab of rock to lay on...
i feel your pain...i hate it
i recently stopped bf'ing and lost 25+ lbs and they are still ginormous...as soon as i am positive i am done having babies i am so getting a reduction/lift!!!
me three and I'm hoping insurance will cover it
Dear Baby Girl,
Please come out. Walking around almost 4cm dilated and 80% effaced makes me feel like a ticking time bomb about to explode. Plus the pelvic pressure, hemmoroids, back pain, swollen everything, and exhaustion is just making for a miserable last few weeks that I would rather be savoring. I promise, it's awesome out here.
Signed,
Your loving mother
Jonathan Dean 4.5.08
Anna Capri 5.4.11
My Mom had a reduction/lift and it was paid for by insurance because the plastic surgeon could prove to insurance it was necessary. There's specific criteria you have to meet. Hers were the deep grooves in her shoulders from the bra and also the inches from neck to either center of the nipple or where they hang, I can't remember. The surgeon even had to photograph them and send in photos. They look fab now! She always tells me I got her b00bs, so I'm secretly wishing someday I can have the same.
dear family,
it is not polite to ask if i lost the baby weight. just because you have a baby asking about weight does not become okay.
undersigned, there is a reason i live two hours away from you crazies.
Dear sweet Luciana,
You're the light of Mommy's life.
Now go the f*%$ to sleep and stay that way until at least 6 am.
Love, the mama who needs more then 3 uninterrupted hours of sleep
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Dear boobs,
Sorry that your master, the lil 15 lb terror, keeps confusing you with her sttn one night and all night partying the next.
Love, me aka the human Cheerio who wakes up in a pool of milk
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Dear Big Lar,
Please figure out a way to lactate. TYVM.
LOL, I would have thought that you've been reading "Go the F***k to Sleep" but it hasn't been released yet.

"Here is a sample verse: The cats nestle close to their kittens now. The lambs have laid down with the sheep. You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear Please go the f**k to sleep."Dear Humidity,
Please go away so my hair does not look like a frizball anymore.
TYVM,
Me
Reason #853 Why I am not looking foward to getting pregnant: I can't imagine my boobs getting any bigger. I will tip over.