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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What do you think?
So, I was watching an episode of The Real Housewives of NYC (I know, I know), and one of the women had IVF in her late 40's, with no husband, boyfriend, etc because she was just determined to have children, regardless of having a man in her life. Now she has twin girls.
I've heard mixed opinions on this topic before.
Would you ever decide to have a child alone, if you hadn't met your DH, never met "the one", and still wanted children? Would you want to go through that process knowing you're going to be a single parent?
Do you think it's fair that the child will grow up without getting to experience having a two parent household? Or, does that not matter, as long as they have one parent that loves them?
Re: What do you think?
Ooh flammable topic.
I don't see anything wrong with wanting a child....but I don't agree with IVF in that situation, at all.
I think adoption is the best route.
Interesting point, Tiffany. May I ask why? (I don't agree or disagree, just curious). ETA: if you don't want to explain I understand
I actually have a friend who decided she wanted a baby by 30 and she did it. No DH, no BF. She was inseminated and had a sweet baby girl in January. She has a large family all in the area and has plenty of help while she works. (I am sure the NYC housewife has lots of help, too..with nannies!)
I don't think it is a disservice to the child. That child will have one parent that wanted them, cares for them and wants to make a great life for them. Sure, they may need some help, but the good intentions are there. Some children with two parents, don't even have that.
Personally, I would just be childless. I don't have a burning desire to be a parent especially without someone to partner with.
To each his own but having been a single mother, it is not something I would want to do again. It's hard--and I had a supportive mom, sister as well as lots of help from my ex-husband. Having to work full-time, I feel like Mel missed out on things like after-school activities because there was no one to get her back and forth. Plus the most important thing you can give children is your time and it's hard for just one parent to supply it all.
Even if I was wealthy and had the means, I don't think I would do it. I mean--it's sort of like you're wanting to fulfill a personal desire that you have and while it is natural for a woman to want a child, I'm not sure that's a fair enough reason. But I go back and forth too. My sister is about to turn 35 and I know how much she wants a child--she is talking about adopting or maybe even fostering. I while I think that is admirable, it doesn't make any of the above reasons I just mentioned against it less relevant.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
My dad was absent most of my life growing up and I turned out okay (I think anyways...LOL).
I couldn't tell you what I would do because I don't have a clue however I do imagine that if I did want kids, I would adopt because that has always been my dream anyways. I actually don't have a desire to be pregnant at all (it actually scares the living crap out of me) so I doubt I would do IVF but if I changed my mind and wanted to experience pregnancy I would do it.
As for others, some people have a strong desire to have a child that is blood but regardless of that fact, I don't see anything wrong with IVF.
I wouldn't have waited that long and, since insurance doesn't pay for it and it's really expensive, then I probably wouldn't have gone that route.
I would have really wanted a child but I've got several friends that adoption through fostering didn't work out (so many issues!), so, sadly, I'm not sure that I would have adopted either because those issues are so tough when there are two of you. I just can't imagine being alone raising kids with such big issues.
I think that in consideration for the health of babies in the womb and providing them with the most optimally healthy development enviroment, she should've considered doing this earlier but all the same, I don't think there is anything wrong with her doing it.
Given that such a high percentage of two parent households end up in divorce anyway and even if they didn't, it wouldn't be fair to say that just because someone never found their mate then they shouldn't be able to have kids.
ETA: I still think it's awesome that so much of the discussion on this board has been revolving around baby talk lately. ;O)
My Ovulation Chart
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