Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Bitter, party of one
Going off of Steph's post, is there anyone you're bitter/upset/pissed about gift-wise from your wedding?
I hate to be so judgemental, but I'll start..
We invited a couple much younger than us, actually they were our employees when we had our t-shirt store in the mall. We introduced them and went to their wedding in '09. Was super excited that we set them up, so we got them a $100 gift, plus I went to the bridal shower and spent $50ish on that gift.
They didn't come to our wedding (they were celebrating their year anniversary) but sent us a gift from our C&B registry. A $16 chip/dip bowl. That's it. I know they're younger, but they were both working and at least could afford $20 each, not less than $20 total. BTW, she didn't come to my shower.
I'm just miffed. And to top it off, we're invited to their (ugh) coed baby shower this weekend. I don't really want to spend a lot on that gift cuz I'm still butthurt..Plus I think they invited us to get a good gift, seeing as we haven't seen them since THEIR wedding in '09
Re: Bitter, party of one
I'll move my story here, where it's more appropriate:
For the most part I thought it was fine when people gave us no gift or very small gifts, because we had a lot of grad students at our wedding who really can't afford gifts. We wanted them there, and would have been sad if they declined because they couldn't give a gift.
HowEVER, the lowest amount of money we received was from someone whose husband makes a ton of money, and she brags about it. She also made a comment once about how cash is the best wedding gift and she never gives less than $100 per person. So I was sort of annoyed that they gave us $50, like we weren't good enough for her so-called minimum gift. If she didn't say crap like that, I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but I definitely noticed.
Ooh, so glad I'm not alone, and I'm sorry for hijacking Steph's thread with my bitterbetty story.
And yeah, those folks had a kid recently, and we didn't send a gift. I was glad that we weren't invited to a shower, which makes sense since we live in different states
Laura, what a PITA that chick is! I hate people who talk about gifts like that.
Brew, I'd ditto Laura, that sounds like a gracious thing to do. It sounds like it's a friendship that's definitely dying off, and this could be the end of it.
We had another couple friend that I felt like we were the dirtbags for. They got married in a total DW in India (he's from there + family there), and of course we couldn't make it. They didn't register, and specifically said all they needed was cash for an eventual honeymoon (the DW didn't count??). H was totally opposed to doing that, so we didn't. I had started gathering items to do a picnic/date basket for them, and we kept trying to arrange a time to get together, but it didn't work out, so we never gave them a gift. I feel like our failure to give them a gift was part of their reluctance to hang out, which was a bummer. They came to our wedding and gave a very small gift, and I totally understood.
I'm still pissed that most of our guests didn't give us a gift. Darn cheaps Mexicans. You Mexi-can that means you can give a gift. It does not mean that you can just come and eat the food and drink the beer that we're paying for.
OMFG, Deb, you said MexiCAN! Hilarious!
We're going to the shower. For some reason DH is obsessed. We've never done a coed shower, this will either be fantastic or a big waste of time. (I'm thinking the latter.) I will however, put a cap on the gift. Maybe the $30 boppy pillow. Good enough, yeah?
Boppy pillow works! Or a bumbo seat if she registered because those also rock!
I have been to one coed shower and it was a blast! They made the guys chug booze from baby bottles and they thought the melted chocolate candy in diapers was hilarious. Depends on the people that you are with though.
We had one of these. Only make it a great aunt and uncle and change the amount to $10.
We had a few people not even give cards (one was DH's cousin) and DH's uncle's family gave us a super crappy mixed bag of cheap gifts (probably worth $15 to cover aunt, uncle, adult cousin + FI, and adult cousin). Their daughter is getting married this summer and I am not sure what I want to do. I love giving fantastic gifts, but after that on I am not so sure. I had a super small shower so I did not receive shower gifts from any of his family or any of our out of town relatives/friends.
I was also surprised at how many people did not even send cards even though they are close family members that couldn't make it.
To be clear, there were people who gave us nothing, but all of them at least gave us a card and in almost every case I truly understood that they had financial troubles. I wouldn't have thought $50 was a bad gift if that girl hadn't made such a huge deal out of a) how much money her husband makes, and b) how much she usually gives.
We had a few people not give gifts for over a month and I was hurt at first that they didn't even give a card, until I realized they just hadn't sent something yet.
My aunt is a Rockefeller with no friends and is basically a baby terror wanting to control every situation by waving her money around. There was a family thing in January and me, my mom and other aunt stood up to her. She gave me $100. By comparison so you know how my family gives for weddings, I got no less than $250 from my mom's other siblings. I am so curious to see what she gives my cousin who is having her reception on May 14.
We also had two couples not even give us a card. Are you kidding me?
This is awful, but I was wondering the same thing about my co-worker. Another co-worker is getting married this month and I wonder if she'll give her only $50, or her supposed 'usual minimum' of $200 ($100 pp). I'm sure I'll never find out, but it would be interesting if someone else knew that this girl had been bragging falsely all along. OTOH, I would feel pretty shiity if she giver her 4x as much as she gave me, so I guess it's good I won't know!