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Working moms
Be completely honest with me, is it really hard leaving your kid(s) every day? DH just got a full time job, which is good, but the hours are 3pm-2am, five shifts/week. And I'll most likely keep my 8-5 job (I think I'm just scared to leave in this economy). Still undecided on how many of my 20+ piano students I'll keep. I'm probably worrying and thinking about this too much, but is it something you dread and then it turns out ok, or is it really rough?
I would love to stay at home, but I have a fear of losing my safety net job. And it's not like being a special events coordinator requires any specialized skills (as compared to IT, engineering, etc.), so it's tough to get back into the field with so many others that are perfectly qualified.
Sorry to be posting baby stuff on this board, but the Detroit baby board doesn't get a ton of action.
Re: Working moms
No, it's not hard for me. It was the first week, but after that I was fine. I guess I just always knew I would have to work. I'm the breadwinner and we cannot live on DH's salary alone. I also never really had that desire to be a SAHM, so I guess my opinion may be different from everyone else's.
I know a lot of working moms worry about missing all of the firsts, but the way I always look at it is even if Gabriel does something first at daycare, when he does it at home for me it's the first time I've seen it so it's still special.
You have to do what is right for you. I think it's important to find child care that you are comfortable with. I'm extremely lucky Gabriel is at an in home center and my DCP is one of the most amazing women I've ever met. I have never been scared to leave Gabriel with her and she loves him like her own.
ETA: I pumped at work for 8 months. I am lucky that I work at a company that is very nursing mom friendly and never had a problem pumping when I needed to.
BFP#2: 8/14/11 M/C 8/30/11 6w1d
BFP #3: 10/26/11
Beta #1 @11dpo: 22 Beta #2 @13dpo: 90 Beta #3 @17dpo: 480
Missed m/c 12w3d 12/28/11, d&c 12/30/11
dx Homozygous C677T MTHFR
Born 7lb, 15oz, 21-1/4, 2 mo - 12lbs, 14oz. 25", 3mo - 14lb, 4oz 26in , 4 mo - 16lb, 1oz, 26 3/4 in, 5 mo 18 lb, 4oz 27-3/4 in, 6 mo 28 3/4 in 19lb, 14oz
Agree 100% with this.
Completely Honest:
Yes & No.
Yes it's hard because I hate not being with him for the biggest part of the day. Right now he's with Jason's parents during the day and that makes it a lot easier for me. Starting next month he'll be at daycare two days a week and I'm DREADING that. I know he'll be fine but I'd rather family take care of him vs "strangers". As Dayne gets older I know daycare will be more rewarding to him because of the socialization and education.
Even with Dayne being with the IL's I still fear I'll miss firsts with him. Sheila told me once that even if I do miss the first time Dayne did something - he'll have a first time he'll do it for me. I try to remember that but for example, right now Dayne is very close to rolling over for the first time and today my MIL called me and I was terrified she was going to tell me he did it. (She was actually telling me about something else regarding him). I think I might have cried in all honesty.
But also no - I am a working person - I feel better that I work. I feel I am a better person all around because I have this aspect about myself that is "me". That being a mom doesn't 100% define me. (SAHM this isn't a knock against you in any way). I come home from work excited to spend time with Dayne and I treasure our weekends together too. I do get a bit bummed because the time I get to spend with him in the evening - he's usually getting cranky because he's ready for bed so our "fun time" is limited.
I'd love to be able to work from home a few days a week but I don't think my boss would go for that. But I have to work full time, for insurance reasons, for money reasons and for sanity reasons. It's what works for our family & works for me.
I am on day 3 of being a working mom and am having mixed feelings on being back at work. I assume it will get easier once DD, DH and I get into a routine of some sort. I do love the big smile I get from DD when I pick her up from daycare, that makes it a little easier.
DH and I have talked and said if after a few months of me working full time, I'm not happy I will look into going part-time and him possibly changing jobs for more $$. So you can always start out keeping your 8-5 job and if you realize it's not what you want to do, you can decide then if you want to ditch the safety job.
This exactly! It was hard at first and for the first 18 months Brendan was at home with family 5-days a week. I'm also the breadwinner so I knew I had to work. I did try to get a part-time schedule, but my work would not allow. I love my job and it would be difficult for me to find a job, in my industry that I enjoy this much. It also had perks for when Brendan is a little older (he can come to work wtih me). It has gotten MUCH easier as time goes on.
Brendan started daycare @ 18 months and I was so sad the first week or so, but now I LOVE my DCP. She is amazing and I feel comfortable leaving him with her. I know he's having fun and socializing. I feel as though his speech improved leaps & bounds once he went ot daycare and he is excelling so much. I think it's because of the social interaction he gets with kids. Since I'm in an in-home daycare he with kids that are older than him too, so he tries to mimic them.
I think the most important part is finding a DC that you're comfortable with. Visit quite a few and decide what type of setting you're more comfortable with. Recommendations, I think, are the best way to find daycares.
I also agree that pumping was difficult for me. I only did it for 3 months @ work. It was stressful, but Brendan also had other difficulties (reflux & milk/protien allergy), so I was stressed about what I ate so it made BF or pumping very stressful since I always worried if I was making his tummy hurt.
For me, it sucks. I had a horrible time 2 weeks before I went back with anxiety over going back to work (With what we went through, my situation may be a big special though). I cried A LOT. I sobbed when I left him with my husband as I walked out the door. I cried in the car. When I got to work, I was totally fine all day. I've been fine since then. In our case, I am the main breadwinner and provider of benefits, so I have to work at this point. I would stay home in a heartbeat if we could.
MIL watches E during the days now until he begins going to daycare 2x a week - we specifically told her to NOT tell us anything he does new, so it's new to us and special. Once she said "I know you told me you don't want to know..." and we both said "NO! STOP!" and didn't let her continue. We made our point.
The other man in my life
Born 11/19/10 - 7 lbs. 4 oz. - 20.9 inches
I AM A PPCM (PERIPARTUM CARDIOMYOPATHY) SURVIVOR!
It is not hard for me. I've been back 1 month now and really struggled w/ the fact that it wasn't hard for me. Everyone at work was constantly asking me "Did you cry leaving her this morning? How many times have you called to check in on her?".
I was feeling like a less than great Mom for not crying like everyone expected me to. I'm getting over that now. I trust who she is with and and beyond excited to see her when my work day is over. It works for us.
I feel the same way! There's an occasional day when I'm feeling sad and want to be at home with him, but for the most part I enjoy my job and enjoy the time I get with DS when I get home.
Honestly, I miss the crap out of him, but I feel like we have real quality time in the evenings. Plus DS stays up late, so I usually have about 6 hours to hang out with him in the evening. The best thing is I miss him, when I was with him 24/7, I didn't have a chance to miss him.
And what's best for him is a happy mom, and I was starting to go crazy after being home for 12 weeks. Working is an adjustment. I have to get up earlier, get him ready, figure out a pumping schedule, but it's all worth it. The way I see it is I have my forever career, so I don't want to quit and never be able to get back in once our kids go to school.
The center we choose is amazing, and I trust them. He is always so happy when I go to pick him up, and he has plenty of smiles. I was worried that he would forget his mom, but I don't think that will ever happen.
This This This This!!!
These two little lines have lifted a bit of a bad mood I am in today.