Sex & Romance
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Fighting AFTER sex

This may seem like an odd situation, and maybe it is because Googling it doesn't produce anything helpful.

Whenever my DH and I have sex during the day (ie, we don't go to sleep right after), we end up having a huge fight within 12 hours. HUGE. We hardly ever fight usually, and these are the screaming, public-scene, horrible name-calling sorts of fights.

The sex is great, and varied so I can't really point to anything specific with the sex itself that would cause a mood swing like this.

The bad mood is in both of us, not just me, so I don't know if it's hormones or pychological, or something else.

Does anyone else struggle with this? What did you do to help the situation? 

Re: Fighting AFTER sex

  • DamikDamik member
    Ancient Membership 2500 Comments

    The first thing that popped into my head is what was the attitude about sex like when the two of you were growing up. If you were raised to think that sex was a dirty, shameful thing those feeling might be coming to the surface after you have been intimate.

    Just a thought.

  • Is someone not having an orgasm?  That'll leave people angry, for sure.
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  • That happens to me sometimes too. I don't think it has anything to do with the sex, I think it's just a coincidence (in my situation). I can't really think of any reasons why the fighting would have anything to do with sex besides what the ladies already mentioned. Are you both happy with your sex life? Sometimes I get sad because FI tends to come pretty quickly and so the sex is great but doesnt always last long. I'm sorry that you guys are fighting, sorry I don't really have any advice for you except to maybe have an honest discussion about your sex life just to "check in" and make sure everyone is happy.
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  • mlee116mlee116 member

    Maybe one or both of you has a big decrease/increase in energy or excess testosterone after sex and fighting is how you release it.

    Could you guys do it right before bed instead of during the day?  Or even just take a quick nap afterwards to chill out?  

    And ditto Kuus.  Not having an orgasm during sex can definitely make one quite ornery. 

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  • Did you grow up in a real liberal household, where your parents let you have sex at home at 12? Lots of studies have shown this leads to bad relationships. In fact Kinsey noted this.
  • It's something to investigate, but I don't think it applies here. We love our sex life and had similar, healthy relationships with sex whilst growing up.
  • Are you calling out the wrong names? That would pissme off.
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