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Mental block?
I'm 40.
This, much to my dismay, means yearly mammograms, so I got a script for one last time I went to the gyno and scheduled it for several weeks ago, at an imaging center about half an hour from here. Put it in my google calendar.
And forgot about it.
I only remembered when my google alarm went off 10 minutes before the appointment, not leaving me nearly enough time to get up there and do it. So I called and rescheduled it for yesterday at 7.
And forgot about it.
Again, I only remembered when the google alarm went off. This time I didn't even call them, which is normally totally unlike me, but I'm sick and was achy, feeling like crap, and had a horrendous sore throat that really had me not wanting to talk. I'll try them today, even though I'm REALLY embarrassed.
As E said, I never do this sort of thing - forget appointments like that. I think it's because it's a mammogram. I don't want to think about it until I have to, but unfortunately "have to" is happening when it's too late to make the appointment. Ugh.
See, I had one done at 35 when my gyno found a lump in my breast. It turned out to be a harmless cyst, but I will never forget the horror that is the mammogram. I left that fiasco of an appointment with the attitude that I'd rather die of breast cancer than do it ever again. That's obviously not really true, but that's how bad it was.
I'm seriously considering making my next appt at a different place, though, so I don't have to call the one I skipped twice.
Re: Mental block?
I think it totally could be a mental block. I remember your post about not wanting to get another one.
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I haven't had to do a mammorgram yet but during a routine visit, my ob/gyn did find a lump and I had to do a sonogram on it. I remember feeling sick to my stomach. I was only 22! It turned out to be nothing but it was scary!
Just tell yourself you aren't going to go to find something that is wrong but to see how awesome your tata's are
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Yeah, they did a sonogram first, figured out it was totally harmless & not even pre-cancerous, and then had me do the mammogram to have a baseline 5 years early so they can compare.
The funny thing is that after my initial "WTF?! Not acceptable," when she found the lump, I really thought I was ok. Turned down offers from my mom and my boyfriend at the time to go to the sonogram with me. Huge mistake. I'd shoved it to the back of my head, and it all came rushing forward when I went for the sonogram. Mostly because when I got off the elevator at the Breast Care Center in the hospital, there was a store full of hats and head scarves, and THAT is when it hit me that I could actually have cancer. I told them they needed to move that store; it was NOT cool. Then I had to wait TWO FREAKIN' HOURS for the sonographer. Also not cool. I spent those two hours crying to myself, trying to hide my face from other patients in the waiting room so I didn't scare them. And no cell service there, so I couldn't call or text anyone. It was bad.
As for the mammogram, I'm actually not afraid that they'll find something. I'm afraid of the freakin' pain that comes with the actual procedure. It was brutal. I don't handle pain all that well to begin with, and am kind of phobic about it (I didn't learn to ride a bike 'til I was 9 because I was afraid of falling & getting hurt), and this pain is some big, bad pain.
Yeah, I never just totally forget appointments like this. They're always floating around in my head, even if it's just, "hey, don't I have that coming up next week or the week after?" With the mammogram, nothing. Nada. Totally out of my head. When I next schedule it, I'll have to put it in the calendar a few times... "mammogram in 2 days," "mammogram tomorrow," "mammogram tonight," "mammogram in half an hour."
Gah.
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Ugh, sorry. In my egoccentric lament I didn't think about what I was doing to the rest of you.
Note: It's different for everyone, so it may not hurt as much for you. My problem is I already know it sucks big time for me because of that one I already had. I wasn't even afraid before I had it.
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