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Opinions: Wedding Gift ?
So friends of ours (well, we are close to him, not her; that's a whole other story) decided last week to get married this weekend. They were planning a wedding for next May but because of his visa expiring because he can't find a job here, they're shotgunning it. SO! This Saturday is a courthouse wedding (family only, no friends invited) and friends are invited to go out to a bar later and party with them. They say a formal party will follow for all family/friends/etc. but no date set.
When do we give a gift? I'm sure she expects a gift Saturday (she's a real gem) but I don't want to give Saturday and then again at the more formal event. Thoughts? Our friends that are coming are not sure what to do either so I thought I'd put it up here for discussion.
Re: Opinions: Wedding Gift ?
I would probably wait until the formal party. Maybe get a card for now and say you'll bring the gift to the formal event so they don't have to worry about gifts at the bar.
By the sounds of it, she'll be expecting 2 gifts, both now and later. If I were a cynical person, I'd get a 2 part gift and give the part for your friend first and make her wait for her half until the formal event lol.
I would give the gift now because I have been through this kind of situation twice before and the couple never actually ends up doing the formal party for whatever reason.
If by chance, they do follow through with the party, just give a card and write inside that you hope they are enjoying the _______ that you gifted them on their wedding day.
Tacky, maybe? Effective, yes, lol!
Ang - I would give the gift now because I have been through this kind of situation twice before and the couple never actually ends up doing the formal party for whatever reason.
I know people that this has happened to as well. They say have a destination wedding and are planning an at home reception and then never have it. More times than not, in my case anyway, they do have the formal event later. So it could go either way.
So I could not give now and maybe be in the free zone? haha! She is just grinding to me. "No kitchen gifts because I don't cook and [he] doesn't need anything fancy!" I'll probably give them a GC to Williams Sonoma....mwahahaha.
I can't imagine lugging a gift to a bar...like lugging some giant toaster or blender or something..
She said there would be a formal party, so I'd just wait for that. Are they registered? Are they paying for the dinner/drinks at the bar party? (I'm guessing not)
If the formal party doesn't happen, you could send a gift card .. or it would be your chance to not give a gift. Depends on the level of friendship.. IMO if it is someone's bday, if I was going to give them a gift, it's not like I would decide NOT to give them a gift if they don't have a party, if that makes sense..
We had a DW and then were going to have a formal AHR but it didn't happen due to a death in the family, so it was a similar situation (except for the AHR being cancelled due to emergency - it wasn't like we dragged our feet). Most people close to us just gave us a gift when we got home, probably because they knew the AHR wouldn't happen.
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I think I'm just giving a gift card since I know I'll be ripped for anything I give so I may drop it off beforehand. I also thought of having everyone go in together for a GC so that might happen to.
I probably sound like a royal b!tch but she is such a pain and snotty (doesn't want friends at the ceremony but we have to meet them to party and bring gifts...rubs me the wrong way) that this won't end well either way.