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Have HAD IT w/ exMIL!!! (need opinions!)
Where to start?! (sorry if long...)
My 6 yr old DD was invited to cousins 7th b-day party & I am torn on if I should go or not... due to ex MIL. I still, on occasion, speak to exSIL & try to get our kids together. Ex MIL threw a hissy and said she would not come if i were to attend. You see, after years of her hateful words, and me keeping my mouth shut, I finally spoke up to her. (my ex wouldn't, so i did) She would bad mouth me & I could really care less, but the moment she brought my DD into it, it was war.
She had a problem with the fact that my ex & i never married & how little respect i had for her 'son'. (she is his step-mom. bio mom passed when he was young) She began to call my DD a bastard child and that it was a shame i wouldn't take his last name. (sorry, i would not marry his abusive a** just for her!) She ridiculed my parenting and would purposely take the other g-kids out, but would leave DD out. (this hurt DD & the family will not call my DD, or have much to do with her since the split) Then began the accusations that DD may not be his & that she had a hard time accepting a bastard child.
I would have kept my mouth shut about this, that is until HER granddaughter got pg in h.s., never married the father & now father is no where in the picture. (refuses to see his son) So I asked her, how is it my DD is a 'bastard' child, but she doesn't consider her great-grandson the same. Her words...'she is my family, you and your bastard child are not. You are nothing more than a tramp & your DD will be the same'. This enraged me & I forbade my ex to ever take her around ex MIL again. (he agreed, since he overheard her tell DD that 'your mom is a *** and you will be too')
I thanked my ex SIL for the invite, but chose not to go to avoid confrontation. I know it is for the kids & I love my 'nephew', but refuse to put my DD thru hell. Would you still go??
Re: Have HAD IT w/ exMIL!!! (need opinions!)
I went back and re-read what i posted. I did decline with SIL b/c ex MIL would be there. Ex MIL has most of the family (who would be there) not speaking to me. She is one that rules the family & everyone listens... that is why she hated me. I didn't listen to her shyt.
Regardless of your marital status and his marital status, this is still her grandchild. That woman really sucks. She also sounds more than a bit nuts.
Should you go?
To eloquently quote a pp:
Hell no.
You're still friends w/ the cousin, which is great. But I think you need to draw a firm line. When the family is involved, you will not be there. You can still be friends w/o going to the party.
And if the cousin ever brings this up, just say basically this. FOr your DD's sake, you can't bring her around the majority of the family. I would hope your cousin could respect that.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
There's no way in hell I'd go to the party if the MIL is there. If you still want your DD and her cousin to see each other, plan a playdate or something for later with just you, your ex-SIL and the kids.
Gosh, I can't believe how freakin' mean your MIL is! What a snake
Helllllll no! Like pp said, you can always plan a play date for another time w/ the cousin.
That MIL deserves a smack; that is so wrong and disrespectful.
Your DD's father should be the parent who takes her to family events involving his side of the family.
Wait, what? Why would I go?
Are you doing individual counseling? You seem to allow your life to have wayyyyyy wayyyyy too much crazy in it based on what you've been posting.
NO, i am trying to keep the 'crazy' out of my life. This is one of the reasons I have stayed away from that side of her family & another reason i try to keep her from going to see them as much as possible.
He is the one who takes her, and this is when he overheard ex MIL say those things to DD. He has chose not to be around his 'mom' either.
So on my calculations, this is where you were the other woman and the wife is now stalking you and trash talking you. You wanted to confront the husband about it:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/52595710.aspx
This is where his wife stalked you more:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/52628459.aspxThis is where you told us your ex is abusive and told us you were denying him visitation with his kid:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/52406393.aspx
This is where abusive ex's new gf told your daughter to call her Mommy:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/52722434.aspx
I'm not saying you're a bad person or shouldn't feel free to come on the Nest for advice and I'm not trying to attack you. I'm trying to illustrate the fact that some awfully crazy stuff has been happening to you, you know a lot of awfully crazy people and they're all involved in your DD's life. It's unlikely this is all mere coincidence. For your DD's sake, you need to figure out what keeps attracting you to crazy people so you can limit these types of situations.
No, don't go.
I know it may not matter, but DD was never around the one i did the absolute wrong thing with, or his wife.