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Break-ups and pets (not me)
Have any of you ever broken up with a partner and had to decide who gets the pets?
My friend broke up with her FI last fall. They had been together for six or seven years, and had owned two dogs together for about a year before the split.
They decided to share the dogs. I'm not sure the exact arrangement, but suffice it to say that the dogs spend a lot of time moving back and forth between their two places.
Trouble is, neither of them are really being very mature about it. He pressures her to give up the dogs all together, or uses his new GF to make my friend feel uncomfortable whenever they meet. She is barely emotionally stable enough to deal with what little contact they have, and makes her sister or mom pick up the dogs on her behalf. Not to mention that they are both having difficulties keeping up with the financial aspects.
I've told her (nicely) that they either have to both grow up and deal with this maturely, or one of them will eventually have to give up the dogs for their own sanity. Not to mention that this must be stressful for the pups too. Of course neither of them want to lose the dogs.
I know, she can only be helped if she wants to be helped. But I was wondering if anyone who's been through this had any other insights that might help me advise her.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
Re: Break-ups and pets (not me)
I have a friend that was in a similar situation. They got the dogs, were engaged to me married, but she found out he was a cheater and ended it. They loved the dogs so much they did what your friend is doing they shared them. Finally though it became to much and he let her keep them.
It seems one of them is going to have to make a decision eventually on who gets the dogs. She can't move on if she still has him in the picture because of the animals. Especially since he has a new gf and it's so painful to even pick them up for her.
H and I have split up our cats. We have 7 together. He's taking three and I'm taking four. I also took the hamster. We may have decided differently if we had dogs, because it's a lot easier to transport dogs than cats. We are both very happy with this arrangement.