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Now I really want to know!
Or maybe I don't. I'm not sure, but I can't stop thinking about it...
Last Friday was DS's 2nd birthday. H had some friends come over (4 of his, 1 of mine) for dinner and cake. After dinner, I was cleaning up the kitchen and chatting with my best friend while our boys were playing with DS's new toys and the guys retreated to the "man cave" (the garage), it was great! Until I took out the garbage. I walked past the garage and heard H say "I did about 4 months ago, and I felt really bad about it!" Then one of his friends responded "You guys have been together for a long time."
Now I'm killing myself wondering exactly what it is that he did 4 months ago that he feels sorry about. After everything I've put up with from him, what in the world would be so bad that he would actually confess to his friends that he feels bad?
I know it's a moot point and I'll probably never find out the truth even if I ask, but I've been wondering about it all weekend, and I can't get it out of my head! It was pouring down rain and freezing cold, otherwise I probably would have stayed by the garage and listened in longer.
Re: Now I really want to know!
Do you think he had an affair?
Would it matter to you, since you are one foot out the door?
I understand your curiosity, but at this point does it really matter? It would just be one more awful thing that he's done, but the fact that he's an @ss isn't news. Of course it sounds like he cheated, but that's just a guess, like you said he'd never tell you the truth anyway.
Are you still moving forward with your plans to leave? Do you have a definite time frame? Did he ever go to anger management?
He could have had an affair, or he could have been talking about one of the other myriad heinous things he's done over the last few months. I agree that with the current state of things, it doesn't really matter--especially since he's telling his friend that he feels bad about it instead of apologizing to YOU--but I don't blame you for being curious. I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself from asking him what he was talking about, even knowing that he would probably lie about it.
Also, it's ridiculous that you got stuck cleaning up after his friends, although I suppose that's to be expected of him.
No, you guys are absolutely correct. It really doesn't matter. I'm just curious. I think he may have had an affair. Although that's not something I had worried about in the past, but now I have a reason to and that's probably why I'm so curious about it.
Still moving forward with plans to leave, although on my lawyer's advice I've had to stall to get H to sign some paperwork for the house before I leave. It will be next to impossible to get him to do anything after, so I'm trying to get things done before. I should have the paperwork done by the end of the week.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
This... is a reason it matters!
I would follow your lawyer's advice, too.
Did he ever call or do anger management????
If I were you and I heard that, I would just say softly to myself "More of a reason to dump your @ss square where it is."
I understand your curiosity, I suffer from it so badly myself. But whatever it is, is like another reason he sucks. I would leave it at that. If he cheated or some worse than his previous bad doing, he is just more of scumbag. If he did something not as bad as what you know what he did in this marriage, then he is more of a scumbag. There is no way that he could come out looking better, you either already know what he is talking about or it makes him more of a tool.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Check us out
JMJ this guy needs his head shitt on.
I'm glad you are getting your ducks in a row, but you know some ducks might have to get left behind. Your deadline was 9 days ago. I worry about your son and the extra days you spend with him.
What the heck does that mean? He can't keep the number in an accessible place for himself? He has to make you some middleman? What the heck kinda weirdass mind bender is that? So, you are the "keeper of the number" for when he ASKS for it.
I don't know why this bothers me so much. It just seems like more stalling and putting things squarely on you. Nevermind that he never bothered to actually call. Nevermind that he hasn't done any WORK to improve his anger issues and make you feel safer; be safer. Nevermind the broken promises.
What a trip.
Best. Quote. EVER!!
Perfect for this situation too . . .
Well, here's another one for you. This little gem came out of his mouth last night while we were having a "discussion".
"I'll make you a deal. I'll try to consider your feelings more, if you try to not come home from work in a bad mood."
huh? Since when are there conditions on whether or not you consider your spouse's feelings?
The guy who punches holes in the wall is complaining that sometimes you're in a bad mood?
So when will you be out of there?
I wouldn't assume really he had an affair or not... and IF he's talking about money? about something he did at his job and regret and never ever told you and now is afraid of telling you? It could be so many things... not only cheating.
Knowing myself like I do, I'd stop him one night and ask him what it is. Simple. Do not get mad in advance, because you don't even know what it is, right? So why would you prepare everything for a divorce if you don't know what's going on? Pointless. Keep your head in the right place even though you feel like freaking out.
You're married, he is your partner, right? So ask him to act like one now, ask him what he did. IF he did cheat on you, I (myself), wouldn't forgive but then it's up to you. The only one who can find out and figure out what to do is you. Stay calm and TALK TO HIM. It's the time for him to talk to you and tell you.
Good luck.
Sorry, but you have your head in the clouds. If you knew the OP at all and had been following her story (instead of just being a newbie know-it-all) you would know that this marriage has been doomed for a while and she has gone to therapy and spent countless hours crying and analyzing and self-blaming and putting up with his abuse. This man is NOT her partner and would never do what you are suggesting.