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MIL rant....LOOOONG!
What a fabulous Mother's Day for me! Can you feel the sarcasm?
I swear, I don't know I think that maybe she'll change or finally realize how rude and disrespectful she is.
Back up to last week: we were trying to make plans with both my family and DH's family to spend Mother's Day. Brunch with my fam, dinnner with DH's. After some thinking, I realize that it's just not going to work. JJ is not at the age where he sits still in a restaurant, nevermind 2 restaurants in one day. I finally bit the bullet and just invited everyone to my house. 15 people in all. We agreed that it would be simple: DH would grill steaks, shrimp, veggies, corn on the cob. No big deal. Of course MIL wants to know what she can bring. This is always a problem. She always agrees to what we ask for but brings an additional 3-4 items. This drives me nuts b/c 1. I always end up with an a$$ load of leftovers, 2. it screws up my planning/theme for dinner, 3. we end up having to stop what we're doing to reorganize the table/add dishes, 4. IT'S JUST PLAIN RUDE! Last time we had dinner like this, I actually confronted her about this behavior and thought it was over with.
Earlier this week I asked her to bring potato salad, fully aware that she may bring potato salad for 50 people. She continued to offer for items and I said no, just potato salad. She shows up yesterday with said salad, along with a large pot of soup, portuguese sweet bread, & sweet rice to feed an army. WHY?! So now I have to stop what I'm doing to find soup bowls for the table, dig out my silver chest for spoons, make more room for her fu@kin' desserts, etc...DH was finally rip sh!t at her, but of course didn't say anything, he just gave her a dirty look. I gave her some attitude about all the food, and she skulked onto the couch until JJ woke up from his nap.
JJ wakes up from his nap and he's super excited b/c all the people over, and we've taken all the gates down in the house so he can roam freely. Of course he naturally gravitates to the new dessert table that I had to create b/c of all her extra crap. He spots a tray of cupcakes that my sister brought and starts crying "cake! cake!" So l start saying "can you please take him away from the cupcakes?" She completely ignored me. Finally my sister caught MIL putting JJ's finger in the frosting, so she grabbed the tray and put them away. WTF?!
Fast forward to after dinner, JJ is still asking for cake, and we're serving dessert. JJ's picking off of everyone's plates, and I'm ok with that. MIL decides to take JJ outside (still ok with that) but wants to make him a plate of dessert that he can eat while he's playing! WHAAAA?!?! Who does that?! He's 19 months old! I know he didn't ask for that, and he sure as hell doesn't need all that sugar! I told her no, he's had enough.
On her way out the door (don't let it kick you on the way out!) she corners DH and asks him how much all the food was so she can give him money. He was so upset. He specifically told her last summer to stop doing things like that b/c we're adults; we can afford to have a dinner party if we want to, she doesn't have to pay for everything. I'm so sick of her throwing her money at us, I would much rather be respected as a daughter in law! She has no idea how to do anything sentimental or emotional, she thinks it's all well as long as she giving her money.
I'm still fuming this morning. Mother's Day is so difficult for me to begin with and here she is only thinking about herself, what SHE wants to do. Because SHE needs to be the center of attention. Oh, and did I mention that I didn't get anything from DH/JJ? Well, JJ made me something at daycare, DH picked up some flowers but he knows he owes me big time.
Thank you for letting me vent ladies. I just needed to write and get it out there.
Re: MIL rant....LOOOONG!
Angela,
I so rarely come on the nest, but I am glad I did today! this gave me a chuckle. First, because, well, did you see how much food my mother in law brought to my kid's 1st bday party? It made her the hero! Everyone talked about it! Wow, Maria--you brought so much food! It made it seem like the thing was pot-luck! they brought an entire bag of desserts from the bakery, too! Did you notice that we had food, that we prepared? No, probably not. So, your story made me laugh.
The main difference between you and me is that my husband doesn't say a word or care. So, at least you've got John on your side.
Sorry this happened, though. I am sure it was not fun. My solution to all of this for me is that I just simply do not make an effort to plan or attend family functions. Not a good solution, but there it is.
Happy Mothers day to you! (Did I mention we spent from 11 am until 3 pm at my in-laws yesterday?) I just have to laugh. It won't change so I don't even bother trying...hugs to you! xo
Oh Julie! I'm taking the rest of this conversation to email....
Ricardo is such a mama's boy
Sounds like we have the same MIL....except mine is all talk and shows up with nothing and never gives us the $ she owes us.
WHY DO PEOPLE THINK BABIES NEED FREAKING SUGAR???? Liza is almost 11 months old so don't give me the side-eye or make sneer comments when II say "no, she can't have cake" or "no, she doesn't drink lemonade" or "no she hasn't had chocolate yet" SHE IS A BABY!!!!!!!!!!
My mother's day sorta sucked too. DH gave me a nice Willow Tree figurine, but 1. I don't really collect them (we have a few that were gifts) 2. I know he stopped by Hallmark Saturday afternoon so it pissed me off because there wasn't any real thought put into it, ya know. 3. DH sulked because we didn't see my MIL (we had my niece's 1st Communion and I specifically tried to make plans for MIL to come with us so we could see her)
Ok I totally stole your rant post...but at least you know I understand :-)
This is for ALL MIL rants! Rant away
((Hugs))
that's super annoying!!! i say next time don't put out what she wasn't asked to bring. maybe she'll get the point.
my ILs have finally realized that i'm not all about the sugar for our kids (only took 3 years) we still have minor issues with the desserts though - i won't even go there b/c i will just get heated again. lol
good luck to all who have craptastic MILs
I also think we have the same MIL!!! We didn't spend mother's day with her this year, but it sounds similar to every other get together (complete with the $ and sugar thing!). My pet peeve at the moment is her obsession with certain areas of our yard (like a back corner that is overgrown) She INSISTS that we get it cleared out and we have spent hours telling her that it's really not a priority right now we'd rather spend the time & money fixing the front lawn, fencing in the yard, removing some trees etc. So she is insisting on hiring someone to come do it for us because we HAVE to clear that out. WTF??? it's our house and and we are fully capable of doing it ourselves when we want to!!!
There is also a house on our street that the owners have been working on re-siding since we moved in 2 years ago (so it's not the nicest looking place) and she always asks us "what are you guys going to do about that house?" she literally wants us to go knock on their door and offer to help them finish their house so it doesn't look bad driving up to our house. um, no. I could go on and on about her trying to control every aspect of our lives, but I'm getting myself too worked up!
i am so sorry that all of you have to deal with this sh!t from your MILs!
@angela: does it occur to your MIL that you've lost your mom and that mother's day is very bittersweet for you? i know that i've had to remind my own mom that mother's day is always a little bit sad for DH. i'd also like to punch your MIL for you. she's a nightmare.
@amy: what would your ILs do if you moved away from new england? i see my family once every 4-6 months at most. and if we had kids, we wouldn't be able to travel to brazil (ILs) and MA (my fam) all the time. can brian talk to them and try to manage expectations?