Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Don't think my husband finds me attractive...
We've been married about a year and a half and I think in the last month we've only had sex about 3 times. He's an accountant so until tax day he was wiped out after work and working weekends, but even on his down times he was normally too tired. Now that tax season's been over for a month he hasn't tried to initiate very often. I've gained about 15 pounds since the start of year and I can't help but think that he's not attracted to me anymore because of it. I know he loves me, but that doesn't mean he's attracted to me too. Anytime I bring up our sex life (or lack thereof) he changes the subject--I think he's uncomfortable with the topic. Any adv ice on what I should do?
Re: Don't think my husband finds me attractive...
This is a fairly common complaint on this board.
3 times in a months doesn't sound like a cause of alarm to me.
If you want more sex or you're overall unhappy with your sex life: What you and he need to do -- TALK. You need to sit down with him -- and make sure he does not change the subject, hedge it or hem and haw over it. Communication is key.
He owes it to you to work on this with you as your husband and partner.
You can verfy easily rectify the 15 pounds -- try Weight Watchers, cutting back on what you eat and exercising more --- but he's got to work on this with you; that's the big hump you need to get over (no pun intended).
Shut off the phones and TV and have no interruptions. Then speak to him at length that you're not happy with your sex life.
My Lame House/Life Blog
You MUST talk about it. You need to communicate your feelings so he knows that you are upset about this.
I understand why you think weight gain plays a role. I've gained a lot of weight due to a medical issue and don't feel good about myself. Your H can tell you're acting differently. Just talk about it with him and see what happens.