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HAHA OMG embarassing... need advise!! (TMI, anal)
BF has been warming me up to the idea of anal for a while now, and at first I was resistant, because it just wasn't comfortable when he'd start knocking on that door. But the other day, I was feeling adventurous, and let him break in the new tube of lube in the bedstand. Neither of us had any experience with this, and it was spontanious casual-afternoon sex, so there was no preparation of any kind.
Well, the sex turned out pretty good. The PROBLEM came post-finish. He pulled out, gagged, and told me not to move while he rushed to the bathroom and grabbed me the toilet paper for me. Turns out that I had sh!t on him without realizing it! (In my defense, it was my first time, and I don't know how I was supposed to tell the difference between a pen!s and a poo moving around in there.) We laughed about it afterwards, but GOD was it embarassing!!!
Even though the event had a fairly horrendous ending, we're both game to try it again... but hopefully poop-free next time!! That's why I'm here - I need your collective buttsex wisdom. I am guessing I need to go to the bathroom BEFORE we engage in anal sex... is there anything else I can do to ensure that this doesn't happen again? Watch the diet (no anal after eating certain things, ex: mexican food)? Use more/less lube? What else? I am open to suggestion! Thanks!
Re: HAHA OMG embarassing... need advise!! (TMI, anal)
@ TarponMonoxide: I am not suggesting that he has a footlong dong (not the case), I am totally willing to take the blame for pushing one out while he was pushing the other direction. I do eat a lot of mexican food; I am regular, but mushy (sorry for the graphic description!!) so when he pulled out, it was kind of like he had been balls-deep in brown mashed potatoes, and I had to wipe up some drips.
So, would making sure I use the bathroom before engaging in anal solve this problem? I probably had to go but didn't realize it, and my body couldn't figure out if I was coming or going (hurr hurr), so it just gave the green light during red light time. Thoughts?
So your boyfriend was startled to find that anal sex isn't as clean and poop-free as it is in porn movies. Surprise!
Porn actresses will perform multiple enemas upon themselves to get empty enough to do those anal scenes. The rest of humanity (the kind that don't want to screw up their natural internal balance), just have regular bowel movements and clean up the mess and santorum afterwards.
If you have room in the shower, try doing it there. Also, install a hand held wand type shower head that has a hose attachment. Easy to clean up the mess afterwards.
Also, be sure that your hubby uses a condum. Wouldn't want him getting a UTI from having poop forced into his penis. Yes, the poopy gets put under a little pressure and will go into his penis opening which can cause a UTI.
Enemas are a way around the poop issue. Or, a simple BM will do if its a big one.
Thank you ladies! In retrospect, I guess it should not have been all that surprising. Glad to hear that I am not the only one who has run across this problem!
@ hunter: don't worry, we are wrapping it up EVERY time, so no worries about that. We also clean up within minutes at the end of every performance - neither of us are particularly prone to UTI's, but why take the risk?
(Also, I wish I could call him H, but for now he is just BF! Maybe I could get away with FH, hehe)