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well that was one for the records!
What a CRAPPY Mother's Day!! It started out so nice going to church with my mom. Then we picked up some food to bring to my grandmother and she starts talking about bills bills bills. My mom pays her bills now, and tells my grandma "Not today, it's mothers day...we have a month to pay the bills. It can wait til tomorrow". Well... all hell broke loose!!
My grandmother started hitting herself and crying, so my mom took out her checkbook to pay the bills. Then my grandmother got it in her head that my mom would spite her and not mail the bills right away, so she started grabbing at my mom to get the checks. My mom is disabled and almost fell over thanks to my crazed grandma. I had to get in between them so my grandmother wouldn't hurt my mom.
Cue in my uncle who is fighting with my mom. He just so happened to walk in the door at this moment and starts screaming at me and my mom for "abusing my grandmother". I tried to explain to him that's not what happened at all, and he and my mom get into a screaming match.
Well that was the moment I tell my mom we need to get out of there. This is so toxic. So we leave, and my mom is hysterical crying. I am totally speechless. I hate my family sometimes. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY EVERYONE!!!
Re: well that was one for the records!
Wow. I'm sorry your Mother's Day turned out so badly.
Could you contact social services to look after your grandma? Maybe they can have someone check in on her on a regular basis so your mom doesn't see her too regularly.
Oh wow that really sucks- I'm so sorry your nice day turned into such a disaster
Do you think your grandmother would trust a payee? Maybe that way your mom could get rid of that obligation and your grandma would have the peace of mind with a reputable company?
Thanks SueBear.
I wish we could call social services. But my grandmother refuses to answer the door for anyone, so I don't know if they'd be able to get access to help her. She's just become incredibly difficult after my grandfather's passing. I'm more mad at my uncle from yesterday because he just threw fuel on the fire. He didn't give us even a second to explain what was going on, and didn't give us the benefit of the doubt that we love my grandmother and would never hurt her. He probably could have diffused the situation by talking some sense into her, but instead he jumped into "attack mode" and it was a disaster. I told my mom she should go to therapy for a while because unfortunately she has to deal with these two psychos for the time being. In the meantime I"m trying to just be there for her as emotional support.
Katie Talks About...
You're probably right. I should talk to my uncle. But I have to admit I get a crazy knot in my stomach when I think about it. It was UGLY on Sunday. I don't appreciate being told I'm "abusing" my grandmother because I was trying to protect my mom. I'm also upset at what my uncle said to my mom.
I've been the one pushing the family together these past few months, trying to keep things from falling apart, but after this weekend, I kind of don't see the point anymore. If he thinks he is the darling son, and that my mom is some kind of wicked black sheep of the family then he can worry about my grandmother's mental condition. She would NEVER do to him what she did to us. He's the prince in the famliy after all. I think I'm just done. Maybe he can get her to a doctor for an evaluation but my grandmother will fight my mom and I tooth and nail if she has to.
My mom made an appointment with a therapist, which makes me really glad. I think she needs it (and I probably do too). This is too much for anyone to handle.