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*jess*
kimsande:
10. Secretly want to tell DH to get rid of our dogs but don't have the heart to do it!! Between two babies and a bigger house I am dreading the hair!
you have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!
I would never get rid of our dogs! But the hair issue is horrible. And I feel like I don't have enough time to keep up with the mess it makes between two really young kids and working full time. I struggle now in a 1200 sq foot house to keep up.
I tried biting my tongue, but i couldn't. Sorry, but this is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves (no pun intended. haha) and i can't not say something.
I understand you may not actually be able to get rid of your dogs but you said you wanted to. that breaks my heart. why do people not think when they get animals? when you adopt a pet you are taking it on as a family member. what if you have another baby after this one. will three kids be too much? will it be too much laundry or too many diapers so you'll have to get rid of one? of course not! i bet your dogs love you unconditionally, but because they shed too much you are willing to even think about casting them aside? that's sad. i feel awful for them.
Ok so I should clarify:
1. I will not ever push aside my dogs or just get rid of them. Like you said they are our responsibility as well as a part of our family and I would never do it to my children so I won't do it to my dogs.
2. It totally sucks that I even have these thoughts and before kids my dogs were my kids and are still part of my family and our responsiblity. I have been literally crying on and off for days that I even have these thoughts. Part of the reason I never bring it up to DH.
3. I guess I should have said besides the dog hair I feel awful that they do not get enough attention from me or DH. I am worried that with another child (which was unplanned) they will even get less attention from us. This is not fair to them!
4. And unfortunately I wish that things could be easier and better. I never planned on having kids so close together or plan on getting rid of them or my dogs. But it is extremely hard to balance everything while working full time. And honestly my loyalty has to be to my children now. If I can't keep a clean house for them have enough time to make a comfortable home for my family, including my dogs its not fair to anyone.
trust me this isn't a decision I would even begin to make lightly. I just feel like I need to defend myself and explain further. I would NEVER push aside my dogs because of children or anything else for that matter. I will try everything to make things work out
Re: *jess*
(penis + vagina) - protection = baby
not all every time, obviously...but if you're not ready for that risk, wrap it up.
lol funny! yes I was on BCP. Never missed a single pill took it at the same time everyday.
Just thought I would clarify, I am not irresponsible nor stupid.
oh and I have PCOS. It was fate
I can completely relate to the way you are feeling Kristin. Our two dogs were our "kids" before we had Emma. We took them everywhere. I used to read posts like yours on the Bump when I was pregnant with Emma and get just as upset as Jess is about people that "get rid of their dogs" just because of a new baby,etc. I told DH "that will never be me".
Well that has become me, and I feel just as bad about it as you do. I honestly felt bad for them though. We don't spend as much time with them as we used to. I feel like they are just sleeping their days away being bored because I am too busy with Emma to really take them out and play like we used to. Before I had Emma, I thought people that said these things were just lazy and were making excuses. Yet suddenly I feel like it is just all "too much" for me most days and with another baby on the way it really has me thinking too.
I'll probably get completely flamed for this but I honestly don't care. I feel like if you were to find another good home for them and don't just drop them off at the Humane Society or something like that, then you're doing alright by them. If you feel like you'd be giving them a better future by doing so then I see nothing wrong with it. Comparing a dog to a human child and asking "Well would you ever give up your child?!" is just completely absurd IMO.
obviously someone isn't really going to give up their child. well i hope not anyway, but the thought isn't absurd at all. it's about making choices in life. obviously i don't have children and i feel like this is becoming one of those discussions but i don't care. a dog is not a child but it's a responsibility you choose to take on when you take that animal home. a dog can't talk or tell you how they feel but they are there for you EVERY.SINGLE.DAY! they love you unconditionally and i don't how anyone could just cast them aside for the new "child" in their life, whether it be human or furry. How do you think that animal feels when they have relied on you all their life and loved you and one day you just drop them off somewhere else? Is it because they can't express to you their sadness that makes you not care or feel bad about it?
Do people not know how long a dog lives when they decided to get one or did it just seem fun at the time but now the novelty has worn off?
My husband often brings up the thought of getting another dog and i think logically about what that animals needs, what we need, how our life is right now and how getting another animal would changed that and what changes we may have in our future.
You can say i'm absurd and you can say that i don't understand because i don't have a child and that's fine. Whatever makes you feel better.
I can understand that there are struggles that come with changes in life but it's a choice you make.
This exactly. Only I do have a child.
If they are okay with the decision to give up their dogs, that is their business. If they really feel as though their fur babies would have a better life elsewhere, then they have to do what they think is best. They are the ones that have to be able to sleep at night with whatever they decide.
I don't think your statements are absurd Jess. I honestly see your point. However, everyone has their own story and their own circumstances. As much as I don't want to say it, having a child drastically changed the way that I view my pets. I am by no means saying that everyone that has children feels the same way, because obviously that is not the case.
I think as long as you're doing what you think is best for your pets in the long run, then you're still being responsible about the situation. Dropping your dogs off at the side of the road or even taking them to the Humane Society would certainly appear to be heartless things to do, but finding another loving home for them is perfectly acceptable IMO.
ugh, classic case...I guess as long as there are people like me to pick up the pieces it would be perfect acceptable. I understand the position of the OP and the moms of the world, however that doesn't mean that I, the owner of two rescue dogs, have to accept your position. I see your excuses as just that, excuses. People who dump their dogs don't understand the aftermath of what happens. They don't understand the anxiety, confusion, and possible trama of the situation. Obviously these are extremes, but it happens quite a bit.
I guess for me, I thought it was a pretty lame thing to say on a public forum, and your "clarification" was just as lame. Some people will say, oh it is just a dog and she doesn't mean it, but it made me pretty mad to read and I was very offended. I am sure if you said something stupid about your kid, the moms would be jumping down your throat, but because it was a comment about a dog we should just disregard it and us pet parents are being absurd, especially those of us that don't have human kids...whatever. So because I don't have kids must mean that I am not a busy person. It must also mean that I have a super clean house and that I have all the time in the world for my dogs. For the record, I have a 1200 sq ft home that is always messy and it isn't because of my dogs. It is because of life. I am lucky to get them walked every day. But DH and I work TOGETHER to make life function. Again, I know that the OP is just having evil thoughts and was just expressing them...I just thought they were hurtful and I feel bad for her pets. I wouldn't be surprised if those thoughts turned into actions.
Also, another thing that is p*ssing me off is "our dogs were our kids before we had kids"...so what are they now? I know that dogs are not kids, I know that dogs are not human...but comments like this makes them sound like they are no longer part of the family.
I try not to judge people for how they live their lives, because it isn't my business and I honestly don't really care. However, volunteering at animal shelters has given me a different opinion about people in general.
If you are interested, a a blog I enjoy about this subject: http://babiesandbeasts.blogspot.com/
On that note, If anyone would like to adopt a homeless pet the Detroit Zoo is having the famous "Meet your Best Friend at the Zoo" event this weekend. http://www.michiganhumane.org/site/PageNavigator/zoo.html
Steph and Jeff's Shutterfly Website
~ Stephanie & Jeffrey ~ 9.15.2007
Wow. Welcome to Sainthood. I think you need to get off your high horse there. Congratulations on owning two rescue dogs. I own one myself. Not everyone who tries to find a new home for their pet is "dumping" them because they couldn't control their "evil thoughts". BTW, that's pretty judgemental in itself.
For the record, neither the OP or myself has made one such comment along the lines of "you just don't understand because you don't have kids." We have stated what it is like for us personally but have made no accusations that your stance on the issue relates back to the fact that you don't have children.
my pets were my babies before i had my son and they are still my babies now. i have to agree and say that hearing about people giving up their pets because they have children now and it's too much infuriates me. when you take on a pet you make a commitment just like you do when you have a child imo. to think of what a pet would think and feel when they are abruptly taken out of their home and given to other people breaks my heart. i have 3 cats and a dog, all rescues, and yes, it's a lot of work. much like i expect when dh and i have more children it will be a lot more work. that's life. if i didnt plan on taking care of my pets until the day they arent on this earth, i wouldnt have gotten them. i highly doubt a pet would leave because you added to the family and they felt it was too much. their love is unconditional. just one of the reasons often prefer animals over people. yes, i said that.
also, if when you had your baby your dog was viciously attacking it and you were worried for your child's life, then this would be a completely different conversation. it's dog hair. if you really dont have the 15 minutes it takes to vaccuum, try to embrace it. your kids will get into much dirtier, stickier, and grosser stuff than dog hair, i'm sure of it.
You're right I am being judgmental. I said I try not to be, but that doesn't mean that I won't be. Also, no one said that I don't understand "because I don't have kids", but to ME, it was clearly implied. I don't often cause drama on this board, because I find most of the girls pretty cool. A LOT of things annoy me, but I can just turn away from it. However, posts like this upset me because it hits home. One of my dogs was dumped by a family because they were having a baby. They just couldn't deal with him anymore and didn't want to train him. So yeah, seeing a post like this would naturally strike a nerve.
All your reply is telling ME, as the person that it is directed to, is that I am not entitled to speak my thoughts and that I am harsh for not seeing your side. I was expecting that. It is insensitive of me to feel what I feel, but it is what it is. People dump pets for all types of reasons. I get just as angry and defensive about those too.
Steph and Jeff's Shutterfly Website
~ Stephanie & Jeffrey ~ 9.15.2007
I do too. I think pets are a responsibility and you can't throw them away when something else comes along. Honestly if some of you don't have enough time for their dogs/pets in their life, get off of the nest and take the dogs for a walk.
It's about compassion for living things.
Haha look at Jill getting assertive!
ITA that it's horrible to hear about pets getting the shaft because of a kid, or for any reason really. They are a huge responsibility and people often don't take it seriously enough. And there is a disgusting number of people who don't give a crap about their pets. I cannot imagine ever giving up our dog because of fur (and he's a golden - there is always hair everywhere). He is a rescue and I often question how the previous owners gave him up because he is such an awesome dog. Between him and our two cats we've accepted that fur is a part of our life. If I had to chose between having hair on my furniture or never seeing my dog again, I chose hair every time. I don't understand how fur would be a reason to get rid of a dog - I mean you kind of knew that when you get a dog they shed, kwim?
I don't think finding a new home for a pet is always a bad thing. Giving away a pet CAN be the responsible choice (obviously to a good home not dumping him on the side of the road or similar) if you truly cannot care for the dog the way it deserves to be cared for. Unfortunately sometimes life circumstances change and we have to make choices. However, I think in a lot of cases it's a lack of forethought that leads to people picking pets because they are cute or whatever without thinking about the commitment they are taking on.
But I'm sorry pets =/= people. The comparison to giving away a dog and giving away a child is a bit of a stretch for me. And people do in fact dump their kids on the side of the road too. There's a lot of shittty people in the world who treat all living things like crap, not just animals.
IMO it's people who give up their pets for superficial reasons, like fur, that make everything harder for people who truly have to give up their pet. The resources that could go to an animal that truly needs a good home are being used up because you don't want fur in your house. That is what I don't understand.
This is the point I am trying to get across. Sometimes finding another home for their pet ("dumping" as most of you like to call it) is the most responsible thing that a person CAN do for their pet and their family. If they know they're not taking care of their dog like they need to, for whatever reason, I think searching out a new, appropriate, and loving home is a perfectly acceptable option.
I am not naive. I realize that a lot of sick people abuse animals and truly do "dump" them. Obviously people like this are disgusting and are not doing the right thing by their animals. I just clearly differ from most of you in my belief that there are acceptable reasons to find another home for pets.
Thank you.