Sex & Romance
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
UPDATE: vaginal pain
I posted a little bit ago about experience extreme vaginal pain/soreness. I finally went to the ER and he noticed little lesions where I couldn't see them. He did a test for a virus and I just got those results today. They said that it's HSV-1 (the "oral" strain of herpes, but on my genitals). Once I came home from the doctor, the next day I broke out with painful blisters/cuts down there. My DH and I have only had each other as sexual partners, but in reading up, it seems that HSV-1 can be transferred from cold sores and such (which my DH regularly gets and recently had a big flair-up). Anyway. I'm bummed that this is something I'm going to have to live with forever, but at least it's not the 2 strain. I have an OB appointment on the 19th and I'll ask her all the questions about protecting DH and what this means for our sex life. Anyone who has this and can offer encouragement would be great. I'm worried about our sex life ongoing and what this means...
Re: UPDATE: vaginal pain
I am glad that you were able to figure out the source of your vaginal pain.
Herpes (oral and genital) is very common. Some studies put the exposure/infection rate in the US population at about 50%. You are not alone.
Now there are anti-virals that can reduce the frequency and severity of outbreaks, so you and your husband can manage this situation together. Most people experience fewer and weaker outbreaks over time, so this is a situation that will get better and easier over time. Yes, herpes sucks and given that there is no current cure, the permanency feels enormous, but this is something that can be dealt with and worked around.
Here is an article about how to have a fulfilling sex life with herpes.
http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/genital-herpes-sex-life
Talk to your doctor about what you can do (suppressive treatments, clinical trials).
When I worked at a women's clinic, we didn;t even like doing the blood test. It's expensive, and honestly, up to 80% of the adult population will test positive as being exposed or having at least ONE form of the herpes virus.
50% of people with it would never know. Most of the others never find out until they end up with a breakout or sores.
As common as it is to have the virus, there is still a stigma...but I don't feel there should be.
Though it used to be thought you can only transmit it during an outbreak, that isn't true. You can shed the virus between outbreaks. It is contracted skin-to-skin....meaning condoms aren't necessarily effective. As for YOUR sex life, since he has the virus (known, since he gets cold sores) they *may* not recommend you do anything different. With all the medications available, even people with HSV type II can have a full, active sex life. Some people never see an outbreak. Some see one and never see another. Weakened immune system (periods of stress, illness, pregnancy, etc) may bring on outbreak.
The best test for the disease is to culture a herpes lesion (but at that point, doctor usually already knows by looking that that is what it is).
Thank you both for the encouragement. I'm feeling a lot better about the situation and less bothered by the stigma. I don't think DH and I are going to do anything different really, about protecting ourselves, since we both already have the virus and therefore there's probably no need to protect. I still have questions, of course, and I will talk to my OB soon.
Thanks again for taking the time to respond, I really do appreciate everything you both said!