Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Polyamourous relationships
Has anyone had one? Was it fullfilling? Are you still in one? What made you decide to have one?
Re: Polyamourous relationships
Are you talking just sex or actual emotional, loving and sexual relationships?
Just sex: I do, with my husband. It's not an open relationship, as of right now we only play together.
It's fulfilling because I get what I don't get from him and vice versa.
However, we are only four or so months into this so I can't keep you a LT perspective. I would be very interested in anyone had one! Feel free to PM me.
NO WAY! Have you talked about this before? You ingrigue me Kuus.
Yes, I have been in one, but it wasn't especially fulfilling. However, I will point out some things that I learned from it:
1) Generally, I've noticed that the best poly relationships happen when the primary couple has been together and monogamous for a while. That way, there is love and trust built up. Poly is absolutely NOT the answer for people who are insecure in their relationship and hoping that by letting their partner sleep around, they'll stay together.
2) Ground rules need to be laid out and followed at the beginning. Are mutual friends fair game? Are you going to tell each other about each and every encounter? How are you going to protect yourselves from STDs? Will you only play together, or is it cool if each of you has a separate relationship apart from your primary? There are a gajillion aspects of weirdness that can happen, and as much as possible, address them BEFORE they happen.
3) Realize that the idea of poly and the practice of it can be very different. You or your partner might think you're all right with the other person boning someone who's not you, but when you come home and smell someone else on your bedsheets, you might not feel like it's so awesome anymore. Both you and your partner should be prepared to pull the plug on the whole thing if either of you can't deal. Because....
4) ....your relationship together should still be the primary relationship. If you start putting way more effort and energy into your new partners than you do into each other, then why bother staying together? That's not poly, that's fallback, and it's crappy.
Have had one. Yes it was fullfilling. Its not something we are in or aren't in. I would say that it is a relationship and it doesn't start or stop it will always be there. If we decide to be physical with the relationship again would be a different story.
Let me explain this better. I am married and my husband and I are both very physical and tender at the same time. We trust each other completely. My other soul mate (as our husbands like to call us) is almost basically emotionally and personality wise the female version of my husband. Likewise, her husband shares many traits with me. Therefore, we are all drawn to each other and it works because of our personalities and traits and trust. It helps that there is also a certain level of love all around. I'm not worried about my husband leaving me for my best friend because they have the same personality so they would really end up driving each other insane. Same with me and her husband. Although the respective husbands have never done anything with each other they also seem to be very comfortable with eachother and have a bit of a bromance. All involved are very secure in our relationships and sexuality.
It has only occured a few times and its fun and interesting. It would never happen where it was hidden from anyone's partner and where we all weren't present. Although its something different and fun once in a while I would never trade it for the times just my husband and I.
I know I'm late to the party, but are we talking polyamourous (i.e., you sleep with other people) or polygamous (i.e., you have full blown physical and emotional romantic relationships with other people)?
I've done polyamourous. My ex and I periodically slept with my best friend. We usually did it as a threesome, although there was the rare occasion that they would play together, or she and I would, by ourselves. My sexual relationship with her continued shortly after I broke up with that guy (for reasons completely unrelated). It all sort of faded organically, nothing dramatic. It was very fulfilling. Bringing her into our bedroom was like jump starting our sex life. And she was really good at things that neither of us were for each other, so she filled in those little gaps nicely.
Current BF & I have talked about sleeping with other people, but have yet to find a partner that turns our crank. He's not attraced to my friend that I played with before. He flirts with girls online all the time, but nothing has flourished into an in-person relationship of any sort (friendship or otherwise). We figure we've got time. We both agree it'd be fun, but we don't need it. We let things happen as they will.