Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I am beyond embarassed and need some input
Please don't flame me 
I posted a few days ago but extreme vaginal pain during sex. I went to the gyno today and she is running some tests to make sure I don't have an infection or STD. That's all fine and dandy.
I don't like my gyno and haven't for awhile. I mentioned some issues with my current BC at my annual last month and also talked to her about the painful sex. Well she said everything looks healthy (when I went in today) but said I have some tearing. I mentioned that my SO is bigger than usual and she said, " Well you both need to calm down obviously because he is hurting you."
Truth be told, I do like it rough. I don't like it THAT rough, but we enjoy each other a lot and have what I always considered a very healthy sex life. We have sex once a day, sometimes less, sometimes more, but we have a lot of sex.
I guess what I am asking (without trying to sound too stupid) is if there is anything I can do to avoid the tearing? I still want to enjoy sex with my SO and not have to worry about these things. I think this is contributing somewhat to the problem, but honestly, I still think there is something else going on. Should I get a second opinion?
For for those who read the first post, I did finally win the battle on the BC and I am going to change pills! It seems like I was getting more infections since I started the Yaz, so I consider this a small success.
Re: I am beyond embarassed and need some input
Oh I have a good idea and unfortunately, it is my favorite position. URGHHHHH. I was thinking of avoiding that as well
I'm going to guess tearing things open. But I honestly don't know. When she was examining me and said, "oh you have a small tear down there. You should avoid sex for a few more days."
Don't like your doc? Get another -- see who your friends like and trust.
Slowing down is key. So is using lots of lube. Foreplay, and lots of it, is a good idea; neither one of you is in a porn flick.:)
yea we do need to slow it down...that much I give you. We already use lube.
And thanks all for the idea about the new doc...I've been putting it off. Next question is, I like the location of the office. Can I just switch to a new doc within the practice?
I didn't read your previous post, but I noticed you mentioned something about Yaz causing infections and I was wondering if I could ask you about that? I was on it for two months and instantly got the worst UTI of my life. It's caused some perminant damage (I generally have slight pain all of the time now) and I was wondering if this was the kind of infection you were talking about?
Unfortunately in terms of the tearing I don't really have any advice. The extra lube thing sounds like a good idea though!
First things first get a new doc! I hated my old doc, she would criticize me for having sex (note: I am a 20-something that has only had one partner, he has only had one partner, and we have been together for 7 years), just wasn't a nice person. Went to a new doc last week and I love her! She runs a one lady office, so its very personal. She took her time and cared. LOVE. You need to love your doctor. I know you love your current ones location, but if you question her judgement, or don't feel 100% about her, its not worth it.
I wish I had your libido! That being said my girl is a small girl and my SO is an average guy, so I've had some experience with tearing. Take a few days off and also find yourself a good lube. Tearing happens because of friction, lube decreases friction. Lube = your new best friend! And if you find one that doesn't taste horrible, even better
This might sound weird, but I would suggest trying Aquaphor.
I have a lot of issues with tearing and irritation, and I apply it on all the sensitive/torn outside areas right after sex, and if DH and I are having sex almost daily (it changes, because of how sensitive or irritated I am, and if I've actually torn something and need time for it to heal) I'll apply it every morning and night. It really makes a huge difference, and you can buy a tube at any store for around $5.
I agree with PP you need a new OB/GYN. Don't underestimate a male OB/GYN, I think they are more sympathetic to our issues. Also, use lube and go slow till you're all warmed up.
As previously stated, lots of quality lube and warm up slowly before the hot and heavy action.
Shaved,waxed or sugared? Pubic hair can be irritating when rubbed against.
It sounds like you might have Vaginismus or Dyspareunia, both are sexual pain disorders. Good thing, it's treatable usually without medications because it's psychological, bad thing: it takes time, trust, and safety, which is always GOOD but the time part just usually sucks. Sexual Pain Disorders are caused usually the first time you have a painful sexual experience, like since you were on BC before, you may have been dry-er than usual or the infections could have been the root cause of the initial painful experience...then it's a vicious cycle from there. Since there was pain before, you (either consciously or unconsciously) anticipate the pain again and tighten your vaginal muscles, causing more pain or tearing during sex. Since it hurt again, the next time you'll anticipate it again and it can just get worse, or stay the same, but either way it hurts when you have sex, and tearing is common because the muscles are so tight. If you don't have much experience in the world of psychology it may seem weird that the pain your experiencing can be psychological, but it may be. Sexual Pain Disorders are more common than people think among women.
I had a minor case of Dyspareunia right after I started BC 4 years ago, but I've since dealt with it and it's gone (THANKFULLY!). I know if it becomes a little painful now I need to use a bit more lube, stop for a second and breathe/relax.
Although pain during sex can be caused by many things, the fact that your gyno said you look healthy, despite the tearing, I highly suggest seeing a sex therapist or psychology who can help you. Your appetite for sex is great, why not get rid of the pain?! Therapy helps a TON!
Whe I see patients who complain of this problem, I suggest lots of foreplay, lube and Estrace. 1G on the days when you are not having sex.
Also, hydration. If you are not hydrated (H20) then your vagina is also dehydrated.