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Coworker vent....need advice
Yesterday at lunch, one of the gals I eat with got on the topic of unprofessionalism at our school. (We're teachers). She went on and on about how there's so many women who wear low-cut shirts, or show too much skin, etc. Then she got on the topic of wearing open-toed shoes at work and how that just shows you're unprofessional and that you look like you're going to a beach. She continued to rant about how she doesn't want to see hot pink toe nail polish on the people she works with toes, etc. Mind you, this entire time she's ranting I'm sitting next to her wearing dressy sandals with capri pants and my toes are a shade of pink polish. I was appalled. She knew exactly what I was wearing because she walked in to lunch with me and sat down next to me. I can't believe she basically sat there and talked garbage about me without saying my name. I didn't end up saying anything to her the whole time this went on because I just sat there embarassed and in disbelief. Everyone else at lunch was wide-eyed about her comments too except for one guy that was agreeing with her. Every female teacher or staff member in our building, other than her, wears sandals when it gets warm out!
So, this long post has two questions:
1. Do you wear open toed shoes at your job?
2. How would you approach her today to let her know that she was rude and that I don't appreciate how berating me, without saying my name of course, about my professionalism?
Re: Coworker vent....need advice
1. Yes, I wear open toed shoes at work. Peep toes and sling backs. And *GASP* I wear dress capris and double *GASP* sleeveless shirts as well when it gets really hot out.
2. I honestly would just pull her aside and just calmly tell her that you didn't appreciate her comments yesterday at lunch and that you felt attacked. Tell her that unless your principal has an issue with your attire then it's not something she should be policing.
BFP#2: 8/14/11 M/C 8/30/11 6w1d
BFP #3: 10/26/11
Beta #1 @11dpo: 22 Beta #2 @13dpo: 90 Beta #3 @17dpo: 480
Missed m/c 12w3d 12/28/11, d&c 12/30/11
dx Homozygous C677T MTHFR
same. I have peep toe shoes on as I type this.
Haha me too AND bright pink polish!
BFP#2: 8/14/11 M/C 8/30/11 6w1d
BFP #3: 10/26/11
Beta #1 @11dpo: 22 Beta #2 @13dpo: 90 Beta #3 @17dpo: 480
Missed m/c 12w3d 12/28/11, d&c 12/30/11
dx Homozygous C677T MTHFR
Ditto, peep toe slingbacks even.
5 whole feet of unsuccessful decision making
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She wouldn't survive at my work then!
1. Do you wear open toed shoes at your job? yep, I wear sandals, peep toes, wedges, you name it. And she would hate that I do not wear shoes while I am sitting at my desk!
2. How would you approach her today to let her know that she was rude and that I don't appreciate how berating me, without saying my name of course, about my professionalism? I would say something to her, not in front of anyone. Tell her you felt her comments were rude and hurtful and seemed to be directed at you. And explain that showing a little toe, does not make you a bad teacher, it makes you a comfrotable one! Also, let her know that she probably offended others that had to hear her conversation, so she shouldn't talk about professionalism, if she is ranting in public and being rude. To me that is unprofessional. How old is she??
I do wear open toed shoes at work - as long as they're not too "flip flop" like. I also make sure my toes are painted as well. A clean, polished look.
2. I would talk to her and say "I was thinking about what you said at lunch yesterday and I don't know if it didn't register with you but I was wearing open toed shoes and pink nail polish. I'm sorry if you feel that look is unprofessional but I don't. It really hurt my feelings that you view me as unprofessional. I don't see anything in our handbook telling us open toed shoes and pink nail polish isn't allowed.
LOL!! I have patten leather peep toed, high, high heels on with BRIGHT PURPLE polish
When I was a sub teacher and even when I student taught we werent allowed to wear anytype of flip flop I guess maybe that would be unprofessional. But dress open toed shoes were fine. But I wore dress capris all the time.
Is it worth approaching her over? Are you friendly with her? I mean I might have said something at the time but it seems kind of late to bring up again. But I guess if it comes up again, just tell her it isnt her concern and it doesnt have and anything to do with how you do your job and if your principal isnt concerned enough to bring it up then it isnt her business.
Mommy's little helper
1. I wear peep toe heels at work and I work in a business professional environment where we are "supposed" to wear nylons, and we wear business suits everyday. We have kind of been pushing the policy lately with the peep toes, and of course you need to have nice polished toes to wear open toes, otherwise that to me is unprofessional if your toes are all nasty. I am sure you look very professional
2. I agree with Tarah on number 2! I think you need to say something, people like her like to pick at other people, she is being a self rightous bully
This, and not sit with her any longer during lunchtime. She is mostly a drama queen, one who can't even follow her own advice. Or you could see her at lunch today, and say, I see you are wearing sandals and pink toe nail polish..did you change your mind about yesterday..then laugh and tell her you were just kidding and walk away to a different table. what a beotch!
1. Do you wear open toed shoes at your job? Yes
2. How would you approach her today to let her know that she was rude and that I don't appreciate how berating me, without saying my name of course, about my professionalism? I may have said something yesterday, but since it's a day later, I'd just let it go. I don't give people like that too much second thought. You follow the dress code, so who cares what she thinks. On another note, maybe she has ugly toes and is jealous she can't wear open toed shoes.
We are not allowed to wear open toed shoes or sleeveless anything or crop anything or capris and hoisery is required.
ETA- I would also say to her "Ya know, during your tirade yesterday I was wearing open toed shoes and pink nailpolish and you hurt my feelings".
Me four! I have on hot pink, "snakeskin" peep toe slingbacks, with blue glitter nail polish. Now that I type it out, I kind of sound like a hooker, lol.
Anyway, if it were me, I wouldn't say anything now. At the time, I probably would have stuck my foot in her face and said, "you mean, like this??" and joked about it. But now it will be super awkward, so I personally would let it go. The reality is that this lady is obviously super conservative, and you're not going to change her opinion about anything, so I would let it be. You definitely don't want to start a feud, especially over something silly like this. I would however, pull one of the other ladies aside and say something like, "can you believe she said that?!" and have a good laugh about it.
I wear flip flops <GASP> to work. Not like the cheap $2 flip flops, but dressier looking ones. But my work is very casual -- jeans (except Mondays), sleeveless dresses, no nylons, etc.
Unless your work has a policy against them (I know that some companies do), I think peep toes are completely appropriate.
Personally, I would ignore her. But I am non-confrontational. If you really feel like you should say something, I agree with PPs who said you should mention that you felt like she was basically calling you out and how it upset you.
She is 27.
I am totally putting money on that she is an insecure drama queen AW!! Thank goodness for you the school year is almost over.
I totally did this!! And it felt good!
Exactly!!
1. No I do not wear open toe, but that is because I can't. I work in manufacturing. However I do wear inappropriate shoes for the job. Mainly heels that are too high. I do on occasion wear capris or sleevless tops when it get warm. It can get over 100 degrees in this building at times.
I agree with this. However I am passive agressive and would have called her out on the spot. That is crap. Unless there is a dress code in writing that you must follow then she needs to STFU.
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I would hope that she hadn't realized you were wearing open toed shoes, because otherwise that was just blatantly rude of her.
And perhaps she was talking about some other teachers. I've seen some that I do think dress far too casually....think cotton gaucho pants that look like pajamas with a t-shirt and flip flops.
I wouldn't say anything now, since it's a day later. But, I would say something if she does it again. I don't know how it is here in MI, but when I taught in CA there was absolutely NOTHING in the California Educational Code about teacher dress code, only a general statement that teacher's should be appropriately groomed and dressed. I used to wear flip flops and jeans to work. Not daily mind you, but plenty of times.
If she goes on again, I would just totally shut her down by saying something like "Everyone has their own opinion of professional dress. I happen to disagree with you about open toes/nail polish/whatever. Unless their administrator has a problem with it, it's fine. It's certainly not our business as colleagues. "
Cranky teachers in the lunchroom are the worst!!!!!!