Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
XP How to choose a counselor?
I'm trying to choose a marriage counselor. How to choose one?
Should
we consider gender? I just don't think it matters. Or should I prefer
female so counselor will be on my side. lol. j/k
Location? They are all located close to each other.
Cost? It's free through work.
Education? I'm not sure. Which one is better: social worker, therapist, or psychologist?
I really need your ideas on how to choose one. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe?
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Re: XP How to choose a counselor?
It's great that it's free through your work. Sometimes finances dictate who could be on your list of options. In this situation, that doesn't seem to be an issue, which is great.
Maybe a place to start is to ask your H to share what his thoughts would be as far as location & education. If it'll start an issue, ask him to simply write it down... keep it simple & without explinations, just a simple: '20 minute drive or closer' or 'I prefer someone who got their degree between 1995-2000' (or something like this) that way it's very cut & dry.
Personally, when the issue of gender comes in... that's completely on you 2. You both might feel more comfortable with one person & the gender thing doesn't even come into play. I'd suggest going through a 'counselor audition' if you will. Have a single session with a few & see how those sessions go. Maybe you pick 2 & he picks 2 & then alternate weeks on who will be seen until you decide. Flip a coin or something to keep it neutral. Hopefully you 2 will find someone that works for what you are trying to do & they can help.
I'm a licensed social worker, so I think social workers are best! LOL
Honestly, the most important thing is that you both feel comfortable with the person. I don't think the particular degree matters as much as their experience and their style. You should call ahead and talk to them about their education, their experience and philosophy. If you have a certain issue, ask if they have any special training in that area (such as working with sex addictions or affairs.) I actually would not recommend the "audition" approach because you probably only get a few free sessions through your EAP at work. I would pick one, and if for some reason you are not comfortable with that person, then move on to someone else.
Honestly, we just looked in the phone book to someone who was close and had a quick opening.
The only thing that I think may have affected our sessions (we are currrently still seeing him) is that he has a different religious background. Normally I wouldnt care at all, but it seems as though he views the male as the "dominant" one in the marriage and the "head of household", etc. Doesnt seem to view marriage as an equal team.
Ours has his PhD. I would do PhD or a Therapist.