Oklahoma Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
This probably belongs on 'The Bump,' but...
How did you decide it was time to start makin' babies? Did you always know you wanted to have kids, or was it a decision you came to as an adult? If you've chosen not to have children, what influenced that decision? I'm intrigued.
Re: This probably belongs on 'The Bump,' but...
JJ was a surprise. A pleasant surprise, but we were nowhere near having kids when we found out we were pregnant with him. Even before him though, I always knew I wanted to be a mom.
Now that we're consciously making the decision to have another baby, this is about the age I wanted to have our first one. When H and I first started talking about having kids a few years ago, we wanted to wait until we were around 25, were settled and both had stable jobs. That was all before we had JJ and he went into the military...so things have changed a little.
After JJ and the military came around, we wanted to wait until JJ was older and H was settled. Well, JJ will be 3 in December, and H should be in Colorado for awhile [with JJ and I moving out there soon]. We hope to get pregnant with no. 2 this fall, and we'll talk about a third in a year or so. If we do have a third kiddo, no. 2 and no. 3 will probably be back to back [as in, 2 under 2].
We always knew we wanted to have kids while we were young. We liked the idea of chasing them around now and enjoying more "time as a couple" when our kids were grown and we would only be in our early/mid 40's. We got married young and were married a little over 2 years before DS1 was born. It's just something we always talked about while we were dating and early in marriage.
There came a point in our married life where I could either finish college, have a baby or do both. We were financially secure enough with H's income so at that point I could be a SAHM if I wanted to (which is always what I've wanted to do). We decided to leave it up to God, get off birth control and see what happened. About 6 months later I got pregnant with #1.
I do not like kids. I never have. They annoy me. Unless there is an accident, I will not give birth.
I have pretty much felt that way forever.
DH and I talked about it while we were dating; he felt the same way. Clearly, at this point, he had no idea he had a child. I wouldn't say kids are growing on him.
We are still placed in the 'no children' category.
Thanks for sharing your personal stories so far!
I'm sort of on the fence about having kids (which obviously means I'm not ready at this point). DH had a daughter when we met, now my SD, and I have fun with her, and I love her, but I'm always a little relieved when she goes back to BM's house. People tell me it'll be different with bio kids, but I'm not 100% convinced.
I both like kids and am annoyed by them. I tend to enjoy the quieter, more reserved/independent kids more, which was how I was as a child. But then I worry that I'll have a loud, bossy, active child, and it'll just drain me.
C and I talked about it alot in 09 so I got of BC in Jan 10 in hopes that we would be atleast PG by now but that has not happened. I do believe there are reasons as to why we have not been blessed with a baby yet. Some of my friends can't believe I am not PG yet because I have been off of BC for almost 1 1/2 years. C is a little upset we aren't expecting yet so we had a nice talk about a few weeks ago. I will be 30 next year and I do not want to go through IVF or anything like that so when I go see my OBGYN next month I am going to talk to her about it. If it comes to the point that I will have to take meds to have a baby then we will look into adoption.
I have never been the most enthusiastic when it comes to children. Maybe it came from me being from such a large family (4 sisters and 2 brothers) or the fact that I love what dh and I currently have.
We have not ruled out children but we are extremely comfortable with what we have so far. Kids come with a lot of responsibility and with our respective careers... who knows?
We both always knew we wanted to have kids, and have them in our twenties.
We started trying about 6-9 months earlier than we originally planned to, due to various reasons, but namely the fact that we knew we would probably face infertility issues.
I can really see why someone would be in the childfree by choice camp. Even though I want to be a mother, I still think of what our life could be like if we chose not to be parents. It definitely has appealing elements.
Oh, this is my thinking, too.
I've known for as long as I can remember that I've always wanted a lot of kids. Maybe it comes from having such a huuuuuge family (on both my mom and dad's side), I don't know. I always wanted babies when I was young... like 21/22/23 - I know it's crazy to a lot of people, but that's just what I wanted - mainly for the reasons Tavia stated and because that's how my parents did it. H always wanted kids... but he didn't really have an idea when. We've been 'just going with it' for the past 2 years and nothing has resulted in baby, so now we're getting a little bit more aggressive about it.
But, like Lizzy said, I can see why some choose not to have children. And sometimes, as badly as I want all those babies, it's really appealing.
I can see us doing this. I'll be 29 in a month and H will be 35 in a few months. We have a 6-yr-old SD/DD, and I can see the benefits of having another child as close to her age as possible (though 7 years really isn't "close"). Sometimes it feels like I've already made the choice to have children, because SD is around quite a bit, so I don't think it makes sense to wait.
I'm not sure I'll *ever* be 100% sure, but when I think "what if H told me he never wanted children?" that makes me upset. I'm apparently rare, in that I haven't "always known" that I want to have kids, but I don't *not* want kids, either. I tend to over analyze everything, so I'm sure this is just another example of that.
I knew I wanted 4 kids and wanted at least one of those to be adopted. DH said he would be fine with 1 kid. When we got serious we decided that we would have at least 2 and talk about a 3rd and/or 4th. We were married right at 2.5 years when B arrived (I suffered a couple of MC's), I had planned to be "done" birthing children by the time I reached 30.
Our views have flipped a bit these days.... DH is ready to knock me up once again and I am running the other way! I still want multiple children but I am fine with waiting awhile.
Adoption is something that we have pushed to the back burner for a bit.
We spent the last five years of our marriage trying to have a live baby. After our fifth failed pregnancy, we decided we needed a break from trying. It was consuming us and our marriage. For the first time pretty much in our marriage we have just focused on us and it's been awesome. Being able to sleep in late, being able to come and go as we please, and many other things have allowed us to put ttc on the back burner. If God chooses to bless us in the future with children, we would be over the moon. But for now we are content with enjoying our marriage and not having "that" responsibility.
Oh gosh.
H and I wanted children. We didn't want children right after getting married. We just wanted to enjoy it being the two of us. It was always in a few years. H was more ready than I was. He was beginning to think I wasn't interested in kids. I think I got baby fever when several people I knew got pregnant last fall. We talked about going off bc in Nov and trying. It was a pretty sudden decision - we knew we wanted kids before that, but never picked a time. I was expecting it to take a while. We got pregnant that first month of trying.
I think some people think it was a surprise. It wasn't. Prior to it, I never really talked about having kids with others. I always avoided the conversation.
We were always ready financially and career-wise. Before the decision to start trying, I always wondered when I would feel ready. Last fall, I started to want kids to share life with and to show them things.