Des Moines Nesties
Borst-Plotz
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Poll: Age btw your kiddos
How far apart are you kids and how well does it work out? (Do they get along, fight, etc).
Jeff and I were just talking about how G loves to play with other kids and she would love to be a big sister. We aren't planning to do IF treatments until winter...but I'm kind of considering doing it earlier so they are closer in age.
Where you 100% ready for another or did you do it because you wanted your kids closer together? We'll wait until we are ready but sometimes I feel like we should just do IF earlier so they can be closer.
Sorry for my rambly post...I really need to whip up a million batches of frosting for these cupcakes but I'm putting it off by nesting ;-)
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Re: Poll: Age btw your kiddos
Cohen and AJ are about 28 months apart. We wanted them closer (I was advanced maternal age), but it took a little longer than planned. I have to admit, it was tough at first. Cohen was in the midst of terrible two's and had a REALLY hard time learning to share me. He didn't care much for AJ for quite awhile, and I had a tough time balancing my time between the two. When I read the other responses, I feel bad that AJ didn't have that kind of immediate love and acceptance from his big brother. Now that Cohen's 3.5, he's more mature, helpful and kind-hearted, so I think a newborn would fit into our lifestyle better than it did a year ago. Now that AJ is more interactive and fun, they play together well. I hope they grow up to be the best of buddies, but I'm not sure at this point. In many ways they're total opposites!
Perhaps the difference from the other responses is that Cohen's a boy? That and his innate personality (he's always been on the high maintenance side). Gianna seems outgoing and adaptable, I bet she'd do great with a li'l sibling! Exciting!
Our original plan was to start trying when Maya turned one. Once her first birthday came around, I didn't feel ready yet. I wanted more time to enjoy having her just to myself and not have to share attention yet. In addition to that, we didn't feel financially ready for 2 yet, so we held off.
We started trying for #2 just before Maya's 2nd birthday. Cam was born 1 week before her 3rd birthday. I felt that timing couldn't have been better. Maya understood the baby was coming and had instant love for her brother. She's independent and has always loved to help. Besides a moment here and there, we haven't had any jealous issues. Now that he's crawling, she gets a little irritated if she can't play with toys that have smaller pieces or if he tries to take something from her, but overall they already play well together. Cam adores her and wants to be around her all the time. It's nice that she can entertain him for short periods of time. Sibling love is so amazing and completely melts my heart!
I too love that had 2 under 2. The girls are 23 months apart and we adapted really well when Carly came home. I didn't feel overwhelmed at taking them both out and about. Betsy was able to listen and understand consequences and really wanted to help me with her sister.
If things had worked out differently, Carly and Quincy would have been between 19 & 20 months apart. I was really nervous to have 2 that close in age, plus a 3.5 year old. Carly was a late walker (she didn't walk until 17 months-after we lost Q) and I was wondering how I would carry 2 babies when we were going into Target. Carly walks great now, but she doesn't hold my hand in the parking lot like Betsy will (she's a willful 2nd child for sure!).
I personally, also like that they are the same gender so close in age, too.
***I am not sure if you guys like my responses to these questions. I feel like they might make you ladies sad if I mention Quincy or scared the loss will happen to you if I share my pregnancy stories. I hope I can still share my experiences and not make anyone uncomfortable.***
I don't have any kids yet and we haven't started trying, and I know you might not really know me (I lurked for awhile, and don't post much because I don't have much to add with not having kids yet). But, I feel compelled to chime in here. I want to reassure you that it's not only ok, but it's welcomed to talk about Quincy and your experiences. I hope that you don't hold back and that you keep posting and sharing! And from what I know of these ladies on here, I would be surprised if any of them felt differently.
From my own standpoint, if we have more than 1, they will definitely be around 2 years apart in age if we can help it. Practically speaking, we will be older parents and I worry about my fertility because of this. Also, I would like to condense the number of years before they turn 18 and go off to college, lol. My siblings and I were each 4 years apart, and I think it would have been more fun and supportive to be closer in age.
Even being pregnant I absolutely don't feel uncomfortable with you mentioning Quincy. He is your child just as the girls are and should be remembered!
As far as spacing, our two will be 3 years 3 months and I think that will be perfect. Sophia is at an age where she wants to help and is actually able to do so. She can't wait to help feed, burp, and change the new baby and she will be able to actually do some of that. She's also old enough to understand what is going on and be an active participant in my appointments. Plus, by having a new baby at age 3 she will have her own time at preschool a couple mornings a week to be a "big girl" while I do infant things. Of course, this could all change when he comes and I will say having three years between is horrible! :-)
FWIW my mom had six kids and the age ranges were between 15 months and 3 years for the first five, then 16 years to me. She said the age gap of 3 years was absolutely perfect and recommends it for everyone. She loves my two sisters, but 15 months apart was just too close for her.
Panda, it never bothers me to hear you talk of Quincy, please do so whenever you feel like it, he was your son afterall.
Our girls are 24 months apart, which is perfect for us. Kind of like the gender of your kiddos, I think whatever ends up happening for you in terms of spacing just feels "right" once it is your experience. What you plan often depends on your own upbringing I think. My sister and I are 3.5 yrs apart and we struggled a LOT as children. We were just too far apart to understand and relate to each other. She was my annoying little sister, and I was the mean big sister. Today we are really close, but we weren't like that until I went to college. I wanted our girls to be closer in age b/c of this. I know that there will be days where they fight, but I also think they'll have more fun together b/c they'll be more interested in the same things. Also I think family vacations will be a little easier than they were for me and my sister b/c they'll be closer in interest level for things like Disney, etc. Like panda said, I think the close proximity is more important to me b/c they are both girls. Had they been opposite gender, I think more space would have been just fine.
Gretta did pretty well with her sister. She was still kind of needy, but honestly adjusted better than I had expected given her personality and attachment to me. Today it is absolutely adorable to see them together. Sharing is an issue of course, but they love each other so much and have so much fun together. I think that Ingrid was the best gift we could have ever given Gretta.
I'm the minority here -- my boys are 5 years apart
-- and it has worked really well for our family. Pros and cons can be tallied for both close in age or spread out, and the the things I've noticed as differences have been more in play (although now they have a lot of similar play, like Legos, coloring, kicking the ball). Also, when my oldest was feeling jealous, he was able to verbalize how he felt, so we've given him some special time like taking him to a movie or enrolling him in soccer so he can have a different kind of attention.
I had a traumatic birth with my first son, and, although I may have originally preferred a couple of years between my children, I wanted to physically and emotionally heal before planning for a second child. It was important to me 100% ready ... and healthy!
Can't wait to hear about G's party
Ours are almost exactly two years apart and so far we love it. Ella was born January 19, 2009 and Brody January 27, 2011. Their due dates were actually one day apart! Ella is old enough to be helpful with her little brother but not old enough to really be affected when he was born emotionally. We still have two in diapers which is no fun but hopefully this summer that will change!
Married 10.11.08
Baby LJ 05.21.10
TheRookieChef.com
I am with Molly!
Our girls are 23 months apart. I actually wanted them closer, but after Reese's birth, we waited a little longer. Reese has been really good with Grier. Any issues that we've had are because of my mil and, well, there isn't enough time in the day to go over that.
We're still on the fence about another, but if we do have one, I will keep the spacing the same!