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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I am soo ready for my husband to get a job
It has been about 8 months of unemployment and for the our checkings account is getting low and I am starting to feel anxiety about money and his quality of life again. Sometimes we find ourselves talking about how we had planned about moving into a bigger house by this time and other plans we had set timelines to complete. Grrrr, I guess that is life right?
Re: I am soo ready for my husband to get a job
I feel ya- my H isn't on unemployment, but he is on Work Comp, and the slashing of our paycheck is so frustrating. We were focusing on getting out of debt before he got hurt, now we're just treading water. It has been 6 months- I just want him to be better and go back to work, and start working overtime so he will be less grumpy / bored / stir-crazy, etc... cuz he's driving me bonkers, lol.
Rule #1 of life- never make plans- life has other ideas about your plans
Sorry about your struggles though- is there any way he can get a PT job? Even though he'd still be getting unemployment and roughly the same amount of $$$, he'd probably have a higher self-value, which is worth a lot.
I understand. When FI EAS'd, he was on unemployment for almost a year. He now works retail to make ends meet. He's WAY overqualified, but we couldn't afford to be picky when money is tight and the economy sucks.
I have nothing useful really, just wanted to say hang in there.
As far as plans, lets just say they're on hold, for now focus on finding the job.
We also had plans to do a few things this time of the year but now that I am unemployed those plans are on hold.
How is he doing sanity wise?
The worst part about being un/underemployed for the last year is knowing how far away we are from our goals. We'd hoped that by now we would be so much closer to buying a home, have more savings for retirement, that we'd be planning fun vacations, updating our cars and furniture, etc. But all of that is now on hold, and even if I get a job tomorrow, making up for the past year still will put us way off of where we thought we would be. To put it bluntly, it sucks, it really does.
But I am so unbelievably thankful that DH has been so awesome through everything and that he never makes me feel like it's my fault that we're so far behind where we'd like to be (even though I often am angry with myself, depressed about my situation, and feel responsible for how my inability to find a job has affected his future). I know you're disappointed with the situation, and feel free to vent here all you want, but for your DH's sake, try not to let him know how much this stuff disappoints you when there's nothing more he can do about it. Believe me, he probably feels bad enough as it is.
I could have written this word by word as it describes me and my situation to a tea and your advice is exactly what I was thinking when I replied the first time. Please do not let him know how disappointed you are because he does probably feel bad on some level, just be supportive and I hope something comes up soon. It does suck, I totally get it. Hang in there and feel free to vent here, as you see there are a few of us in the same situation as you and can relate.
Same here - on not much useful. Sometimes, you have to put plans on hold and sometimes it does work out for the best. It's hard to keep your head up, but you both need to try. In some states, if you are receiving unemployment they do not even allow you to volunteer. I sugges that he try to network, volunteer, etc both inside and outside of his field, you never know who he could meet. It will help keep up his skills and to develop new ones. He can also develop new skills on his own, esp if he is lacking in computer skills. I did this for Microsoft certifications.
I completely understand. DH graduated from college in Dec 09 and hasnt been able to get a job. He has sent out numerous resumes and only had a small hand full of interviews. I thought by this time we would have started a family, but we cant and it sucks.
My Dad lost his job in Aug of last year and hasnt been able to get anything either. He even has many connections in his field and still can't land anything.
My little brother graduated in education and has only been able to find sub jobs here and there. He found a job working part time at a camp. No benefits, and only 6 months out of the year.
Its hard for many people right now to find a job. We just tell ourselves, keep going and dont give up. Its frustrating, and hard but hopefully soon something will come along for us and change the rut we are in.
GL!
I'm with you. Mu husband and I got married in April of 09 and he was laid off in Oct of 09 from a pretty decent paying job, but he hated it. This turned out to be a great opportunity as he was able to collect unemployment and finish his degree. He got a good job after being unemployed for about a year and 2 months only to lose that one after being there for 5 months. This time, no unemployment and no one seems to be hiring! He is either over qualified or not qualified enough. I want to cry every day because we are living only on my income, which just isn't enough. We are dipping into savings that I swore we wouldn't touch...but we have no choice. This economy really is horrible!
I think the important thing is to support your husband in his job search and STAY POSITIVE as it seems to take away from them 'feeling like a man' when they aren't able to support their family and he probably already feels bad enough. As far as the plans you had, we had them too, but I have since learned to be happy that we are both alive and healthy and have food to eat, clothes to wear and a place to live.
If you are feeling down, talk to a friend or post on here. Tonight I think I will take advantage of the Employee Assistance Program that my employer offers. This is a way to talk to a counselor that doesn't know you or your husband and will not offer biased opinions or advice.....
Keep your head up!