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WWYD? wedding shower invite (got long, sorry!)
so a bit of a back story - I am very close with one of my coworkers. He is getting married in July and for the longest time, I was fairly certain that his fiancee was jealous of me and/or nervous about our friendship. My feelings came mostly from the difficulty I've had planning things for the 4 of us to do together (dinner, etc) - something she has going on is usually why it hasn't worked out. However, he has always maintained that it's because she works full time and is also in nursing school (which I know is very legit and she's finishing up school now, so I'm hoping it gets easier to make plans with them). We've been to dinner with them twice in the 2 years I've known him but we are invited to the wedding.
He was away in CA for work for a month earlier this year so I took a
leap and asked her if she'd be interested in grabbing lunch one day.
She seemed to be really into the idea, but her clinical rotations were
on the weekends so her free time was minimal so it never worked out. Recently she and I have emailed/texted a couple of times on our own (not via him), but just for little things like a recipe or when she congratulated me on the pregnancy.
So now to my WWYD question. Last week I got an invite for her bridal shower in June. I was surprised since we barely know each other and my dilemma is that I don't know if I go or not. Usually, I'm not one to put myself in a situation where I will literally know no one else and I obviously won't be able to cling to her all afternoon since it's her shower. But I also don't want to not go because frankly, I was kind of excited that she even thought to invite me. I know the easy option is to not go but send a gift (which I would definitely do), but there's a part of me that wants to suck it up and go.
so, after my really long story/question, WWYD?
Re: WWYD? wedding shower invite (got long, sorry!)
Could not have said it better myself. You might get to meet the people you'll sit with at the wedding too :-) Having met you before, I also have faith that you could easily make conversation and have a nice time with strangers.
All of this. I agree with Sam, it will help build the relationship you want with her. And she won't be able to back out.
I'm not the one to usually get excited for showers, but I absolutely think you should go. Regardless of if there was tension on her side or you were reading into it a little as you implied in the back story, she is extending this chance for you to get closer by including you in an event that is traditionally for the bride. FWIW, there were plenty of times that we were invited to a wedding of one of B's good guy friends when I wasn't invited to the shower because I wasn't super close to the bride. I think this is a good step in the right direction.
And just as an aside, as someone who teaches nursing students and is also married to someone who is working FT and going to school, scheduling time to go out is very difficult. We practically haven't seen some friends who we used to see a couple of times a month since B started school (ok, I realize we also had P in that time, but still). Definitely give her the benefit of the doubt and go, at least for a couple of hours.
2012 Reading Challenge
I agree completely
Oooh, another excellent point!
2012 Reading Challenge
Ditto - I completely agree with this. I say go as it might be the olive branch she needs to be friends with you too!
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I agree, in this case I would go. It sounds like she's making an effort and I think you should take the opportunity! In the end I think it will do lot's of good for your friendship.
If you don't want to stay the whole time, blame it on the baby
I'm way late to this, but I would not go. I have no desire to sit through a shower for someone I barely know. Showers aren't even fun unless you're the bride.