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Can I vent? (long, sorry)
I feel like a spoiled brat but I just want to cancel my shower(s). My family is driving me bonkers and they think they are hosting to shower me but it's turning into anything but... and I'm exhausted.
My mother & sister said they wanted to throw me a shower. My sister had 1 free weekends all summer and so that would be the weekend-- they are throwing it in Maine since they don't want to sacrifice time away from our lake place. That's fine because I love it up there. That also allows some of DH's family/ friends to come as well.
My friends wanted to host a shower for me but I told them I was fine with one... but then my mom's best friend insisted on throwing one in MA so now she, my mom & sister are throwing another one down here next month. They refuse to include registry information in the invitation (an evite since they are planning last minute) and the guest list is a lot of my mom's friends whom I have no relationship with-- that's fine since my mom is excited to be a grandmother but I feel super awkward since I feel like that's rude to invite them since I don't have a connection to them.
For this MA shower, they tried to pressure me into having this shower at 37/ 38 weeks around the end of August. I really had to throw a fit about that because I honestly don't know how uncomfortable I'll be and I'm already awkward being the center of attention at these type of things. I felt horrible pleading with them to not hold it then.
Also, a few weeks ago, my mother saw my neighbor loading a stroller into her car (her son is about 6 now) and asked if she was giving it away. She was-- but decided to give it to us instead of whomever she was delivering it to. She's been dropping things off non-stop at my parents house and most of it is stuff that I won't be using (carseat, rickety bassinett on wheels, and a bunch of boy clothes are really worn- some are usable). The stroller would be fine for my parents to use. My mother feels obligated to accept them and I've told her I don't want it. I would rather this neighbor put them to good use then feel obligated to use the things in her presence. I'm all for getting used things but I feel like this woman is going to be upset if she doesnt see the kid in the stroller.
Sorry that's so long... I hate being in these situations. My friends are regretting not stepping up and insisting on throwing my shower because they know how my family is and everything tends to center around them. If you've made it this far, I'm impressed! Thanks for reading!
Re: Can I vent? (long, sorry)
I wouldn't worry about this. Take what you want, and let your mom deal with the rest. Realistically, how often will you be at your parents' house and out and about with LO? I imagine you could easily deflect any comments and if your mom is being difficult just take the stuff and drop it right off at a donation site on your way home.
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I'm trying not to, obviously easier said than done... but it just makes me sad too. I really hate feeling this way! My best friends and I are doing a 30th birthday weekend for all of us that following weekend and I'm just going to focus on that and think about enjoying my time with them!
The last thing I'm going to request from them is to NOT serve their egg-white crustless quiche that they insist is delicious at the shower. It's disgusting and gross.
You're giving me flashbacks to mine!
My cousins gave me a good piece of advice - although the showers are obviously for us, they're actually for the guests and our family, too. They WANT to shower us with gifts and love and don't realize that they're stressing us out.
I know how you feel about the 36/37 week shower. Same thing happened to me but they insisted and i finally just said fine (then my MIL made me sit in the "shower" chair that everyone uses for the bridal showers - way too low to the ground and I couldn't get up out of it! Whoops!). Turns out they insisted on the date because they were able to fly in one of my best friends from Texas to surprise me, and the dates worked out that way. I quickly forgave them!
Anyway, my advice is to try to just go with it, because it will drive you crazy if you don't! Your family is the way it is. Oh, my MIL invited some friends and neighbors, too, but in a way it was a celebration for her as well, because P is her first grandchild. So they want to shower her as well and asked her about it. My MIL is the last person to think that P is a reason to celebrate her, so I was ok with it. Just write really nice thank you notes!
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