Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I need advice
Me and my husband have been married going on 1 year. Before we got married we knew each other for 1 year. Yes that is not alot of time but we snapped together when we first met. Anyways it seems like with in the last month it has been getting hard for me to get him to have sex. He is either to tired, has a headache, or he is just sore from work. Well this weekend i tired a few things since well my daughter (his step daughter) was at her fathers. So i went ahead and put on a nighty (i did it last time and he was surprised and well liked it, if you know what i mean) and he was taking a shower and well when i showed him when he got out. It didnt work he pretty much shot me down and well i was hurt. Can anyone tell me how i can get things to work, he is only my second real relationship and i just dont know what i should do to make it better.
Re: I need advice
You need to sit down and talk to him. You need to tell him how he is making you feel, you need to let hiom know how importqant this part of your relationship is.
I am assuming you had sex before you were married? How was it then?
Mags is spot on: communication is key. You need to sit down with him and have a frank and honest discussion (without interrruption; no phones no kids no nothin' but you and him talking).
Were you and he having sex before you got married? What was your sex life then?
It very well can be that he's got a very low sex drive -- if that is the case, it's going to have to be something you and compromise on; your sex drive is higher than his so it's up to him to accommodate you a bit more in that department.
If it turns out that he refuses to ante up in the bedroom after you've had a discussion and the sex is still lacking due to his refusal to have sex with you, you'll have to ask yourself which way you want to go on this. You didn't marry to have a roommate; you didn't marry to go without sex.
Agree with the pp: yes it is a very big deal.
Okay -- he's on medication. Maybe his doc can adjust his meds or substitute it with something else that doesn't kill his libido.
He shouldn't be shy about approaching his physician and explaining that his libido's been shot since he's been taking the drug. It's no shame -- lots of drugs can do it, including BCPs for the ladies.
First of all do not kid yourself or minimize your feelings by saying it isnt a big deal! It IS a big deal. We shall see if you feel the same after not having sex for 6 months...a year...etc. Sex is a huge part of marriage and if you ignore it now it will come back to bite you in the arse later.
O.O
I want to laugh, but I can't tell if you're being serious or not......