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I thought you guys would find this interesting!! (long)
I don't know if any of you remember, but three days before our wedding, our best man dropped out. He accepted in July 2009 and then as the wedding got closer, he was telling us he was not feeling well and had anxiety. Back story: He had been a best man twice before and he was perfectly fine the day of the wedding and thereafter.
So, now he is getting married. He just proposed to his girlfriend. Guess who he asked to be the best man??? Yep, My DH. My DH was caught off guard and the way he was asked was "ready to give a speech?" like he had no option in the matter. So DH wants to be a good person and do it (I would not have the same feelings), but DH has finally decided to tell him no. This is his cousin and they always planned to be each other's best man. His cousin was not there for my DH once during our wedding. He would call him and talk about himself and never did anything for DH. On Thursday, cousin called DH (he thinks DH is going to accept being best man) and asked him to scope out churches with him on Saturday... My DH was in shock!
Anyways, for my DH it is not about tit for tat. It is about the lack of support his cousin gives him (so many other reasons, like when we told the family in December we sold our house and that we were pg, his cousin said NOTHING. When he came to our new house for Easter, he would not go on our tours of the house -- did not go upstairs or downstairs... Just stayed in the family room and kitchen). Unbelievable.
I feel bad for my DH. Because he is always there for cousin, but cousin is NEVER happy for my DH.
Thanks for listening. I am curious what you girls think.
Danielle
Re: I thought you guys would find this interesting!! (long)
Tales From a Kitchen Misfit
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wow....thats quite the position your DH was put in. I can't imagine him just inviting your DH to be in the wedding as though he had no recollection of what happened before your wedding. I think he is within his right to say no to being BM however I think it warrents a good long chat about what happened and why cousin thinks DH would want to be in the wedding after what happened.
That is odd to say the least. Cousin just didn't mention the fact that he totally bailed on DH? If it was me I would say yes and then bail at the last minute just like he did, but I realize that's not the right thing to do and good for DH for being the bigger person.
I agree with Laurie that this warrants a talk of some sort, and maybe DH needs to determine if this is really someone he considers a friend. I get that he's family, but that doesn't give you a free pass to be selfish...
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