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S/O Inlaw Drama

Does anyone have any advice on getting my MIL to STOP with all this baby talk! Every single time I see her (which isnt often since I've been avoiding as much as possible) she says something about us having a baby.We have only been married for 10mths!

She's treating our puppy like a newborn.. trying to constantly hold her & carry her around & rock her even while Luna is clearly trying to get away & out of her arms. She taped little pink bows on her ears and everything. Makes comments like "When will I get to do this with a real human baby" Ick! or "I can't wait to have a real grand baby"

I want to scream "when we're ready we will dammit, get off our backs!"

I have told her multiple times, I've tried to be funny & jokey about it, I've tried to be stern & serious about it. Nothing works. 

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Re: S/O Inlaw Drama

  • Have your dh tell her to knock it off :)
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  • imagebeewltched:
    Have your dh tell her to knock it off :)

    This is exactly what I would do... 

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  • imagebeewltched:
    Have your dh tell her to knock it off :)

    yup. 

    you say you have been stern but it obviously isn't stern enough. you are going to have to really lay it out there, or more so, have your H do it. 

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  • agreed, have your DH tell her to stop & that it's none of her eff'ing business.

    Another option... tell her your never having kids & that you have no interest in having any.... ever.  that might work.


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  • Tell her for every time she asks you about it, you will push back the discussion with your husband about your sex life and future family one month! 

    That worked for us. 

    You can also let her know that your sex life is none of her business. 

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  • What worked for us, at least to our face...who knows what was said behind our backs, was after MIL screamed out at our wedding shower after seeing a baby "I want one of those 9 months after the wedding!!!" and I shot her a look of death.  She said to DH the next morning,

    MIL: "Amy didn't look too happy with me at the shower when I made the comment about the baby"

    DH: "Well, she wasn't and neither was I."

    MIL: "Well what is the big deal?"

    DH:  "The deal is, we are waiting to have kids until we are ready for it and want to enjoy being married for a bit. So do not mention it again.  It is our decision when we want to have children."

    MIL: (dramatic sigh) "Well no one told me that."

    DH:  "No one needs to tell you that, it is our business, not yours."

    It was not brought up again until we told them I was 10 weeks pregnant.

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  • imageamyvan317:

    What worked for us, at least to our face...who knows what was said behind our backs, was after MIL screamed out at our wedding shower after seeing a baby "I want one of those 9 months after the wedding!!!" and I shot her a look of death.  She said to DH the next morning,

    MIL: "Amy didn't look too happy with me at the shower when I made the comment about the baby"

    DH: "Well, she wasn't and neither was I."

    MIL: "Well what is the big deal?"

    DH:  "The deal is, we are waiting to have kids until we are ready for it and want to enjoy being married for a bit. So do not mention it again.  It is our decision when we want to have children."

    MIL: (dramatic sigh) "Well no one told me that."

    DH:  "No one needs to tell you that, it is our business, not yours."

    It was not brought up again until we told them I was 10 weeks pregnant.

     

    OMG! Mine did something similar!!! She bought me lingerie for my shower & as I was opening it she said in front of everyone "that's to make me a grand baby right after the wedding!" & "If you stop your birth control right after the wedding, you could be pregnant by september!" Gee thanks for planning out MY pregnancy!

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  • imageamyvan317:

    What worked for us, at least to our face...who knows what was said behind our backs, was after MIL screamed out at our wedding shower after seeing a baby "I want one of those 9 months after the wedding!!!" and I shot her a look of death.  She said to DH the next morning,

    MIL: "Amy didn't look too happy with me at the shower when I made the comment about the baby"

    DH: "Well, she wasn't and neither was I."

    MIL: "Well what is the big deal?"

    DH:  "The deal is, we are waiting to have kids until we are ready for it and want to enjoy being married for a bit. So do not mention it again.  It is our decision when we want to have children."

    MIL: (dramatic sigh) "Well no one told me that."

    DH:  "No one needs to tell you that, it is our business, not yours."

    It was not brought up again until we told them I was 10 weeks pregnant.

    I take this back...DH did overhear a conversation she was having with his aunt about all my work travel I was doing and how was I ever going to have a family with putting my career first.

    I would just have your DH be very blunt with her.  Everything about deciding to have a family and making a family is private.  It is really not anyone's business other than your DH and you and I would use those exact terms.  What people don't get is that with so many people struggling to get pregnant/stay pregnant, it isn't funny or cute to be harassed about it.

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  • imagejesss10:

    imagebeewltched:
    Have your dh tell her to knock it off :)

    yup. 

    you say you have been stern but it obviously isn't stern enough. you are going to have to really lay it out there, or more so, have your H do it. 

     

    DH is very non-confrontational especially with his parents so getting him to do it is like pulling teeth. He just likes to ignore it. 

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  • imageMrs.Kohalic17:
    imageamyvan317:

    OMG! Mine did something similar!!! She bought me lingerie for my shower & as I was opening it she said in front of everyone "that's to make me a grand baby right after the wedding!" & "If you stop your birth control right after the wedding, you could be pregnant by september!" Gee thanks for planning out MY pregnancy!

    OMG, I would have killed her and been morified she bought me lingerie.  That is all kinds of wrong...sorry if anyone doesn't agree, but MIL's buying lingerie for their son's soon to be wife is akward in my book. 

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  • Yeah not only is it awkward but it was getting to the creepy level. My friends were all looking at me like "wtf did she just say?" 

    Yep. You heard right. Ugh...

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  • imageMrs.Kohalic17:
    OMG! Mine did something similar!!! She bought me lingerie for my shower & as I was opening it she said in front of everyone "that's to make me a grand baby right after the wedding!" & "If you stop your birth control right after the wedding, you could be pregnant by september!" Gee thanks for planning out MY pregnancy!

    Oh my gosh.  That is entirely too much.  I am so sorry!  This is why I'm glad my in laws are so hands off.  They dont' even tell us when they are in the hospital or anything (not happy about that but it is what it is).

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  • This makes me appreciate both my mom & MIL. My brother is dealing with this now from his IL family. A lot of the comments include the fact that they better hurry because my brother will be 42 next month, and my SIL will be 30 in August. I told him to tell the family that they are adopting a Haitian baby and they're going to name her Prada. You could try that? lol
  • Luckily ILs stayed out of it, for the most part. When I announced I was pg (first pg, which unfortunately ended in m/c), 2 weeks later MIL bought a brand new 7-passenger SUV. Her reasoning, "So when the baby comes we can all ride together." Tongue Tied Gag/vomit. We never ride anywhere together, except maybe once a year.

    Many of the moms on here will say (and I'm certainly no exception), it won't stop once you've had a baby. I was getting questioned about another within 3 months of my babies' birth. If it comes up now I just say ask me again in 5 years. The sooner you come up with a good comeback, the sooner they'll stop pestering you - I promise!

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  • I flipped the switch and asked her if she even considered the fact that maybe I couldn't conceive and that her constant nagging is insensitive and rude.  I explained to her how rude it is to assume that young couples are ready to have kids and are able to have kids.  I also asked her how she was doing with menopause and how that is working out for her.  She doesn't talk to me about babies anymore.
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  • imagelilnephie:
    I flipped the switch and asked her if she even considered the fact that maybe I couldn't conceive and that her constant nagging is insensitive and rude.  I explained to her how rude it is to assume that young couples are ready to have kids and are able to have kids.  I also asked her how she was doing with menopause and how that is working out for her.  She doesn't talk to me about babies anymore.

    This is actually quite perfect.  :)

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  • imagelilnephie:
    I flipped the switch and asked her if she even considered the fact that maybe I couldn't conceive and that her constant nagging is insensitive and rude.  I explained to her how rude it is to assume that young couples are ready to have kids and are able to have kids.  I also asked her how she was doing with menopause and how that is working out for her.  She doesn't talk to me about babies anymore.

    way to go!

    wow, so sorry to hear about all the mom/MIL problems

    I'm going to count my blessings that I'm one of the few that never had either mom or MIL ask about it, they knew that when we were ready we'd start our family (and we were already in our 30's when we got married)...my mom even got me a onesie when DD was born that said "I was worth the wait"

     

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