Sex & Romance
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talking to my child about their 1st period
Ok, let me preface this by saying I was only 9 when I got my first period. It was very scary and I had no idea what was happening. My daughter is only 6, so I think I have a couple of years. How do you go about preparing them without scarring them to death??Any ways you may have handled it, the better. We are very open in our house, I just need some ideas on what exactly to say/ do to prepare her. Thanks
Re: talking to my child about their 1st period
I believe there still are educational pamplets available --- and when they get to be puberty age I think there is a talk given to the girls by the health teacher.
Six is a bit too young to discuss periods, bodily changes and puberty at length to a youngster. She'd probably be overwhelmed. 9 or 10 is the usual age since the average start of menses now begins at age 11.
You can, however, come up with age appropriate answers to questions she has in the meanwhile (she might ask you what tampons are for if she sees you buying them, etc).
When you start to see bodily changes, it's time for a talk about periods, when they happen, etc.
I'm pretty sure I knew what a period was by age six. I don't remember exactly how the talk went down, but I think I had asked about the tampons in our shopping cart while at the grocery store with my mom or something. Maybe you could segue into a conversation while putting away groceries.
I was 11 when I got my first period and I wasn't surprised or scared in the least. I think 6 is a fine age to start a discussion. It's not dirty or vulgar, so I see no reason to wait a few more years.
ETA: I disagree with Tarpon. Waiting to see changes is too late. When you wait for puberty to start before giving the info, things become scary and shameful.
I got my period the March before the video at school was shown in May of fifth grade so I had no idea what was wrong with me. No idea. I finally went to my mom after at least two days of constantly changing my underwear and showed her one of the dirty undies. She immediately explained everything. I was very embarrassed so that's why I waited so long to approach her.
Because I got my period so young I will be more proactive about talking to any daughters I might have.
My mom told me about periods and sex when I was pretty young, like 6 or 7. Besides, I heard her talk about it with her sisters or other adults, saw pads/tampons, heard about it on TV, etc.
By the time I got my period when I was 13, it was no big deal at all. I just went to her and told her I needed some pads and some Tylenol. I think honesty and education is the best way to go. Just give her a simple explanation of what it is, what happens, what she should do and leave it at that. As she gets older, she'll ask questions and you can address them then.
The best book is and American Girl book about you and your body. It is great and just enough info about the changes for girls, hair, breasts, bras, periods, hygiene products, not really any sexuality stuff. I have nine year old and she enjoyed it read to her and now she reads it.
My favorite book to explain sex was Where did I come from? It is a comic format, but explains how babies are made and also that sex feels good.
For whoever thought that you should delay a girl's period until 11 or 12, I guess you don't have a 7-12 year old daughter. Girls are developing earlier these days. Normal puberty can begin as early as 8. Girls are getting their periods at 9 and older. it is the norm.
It is not normal for a 6-10yr old to reach puberty. Early puberty is a philological strain for very young girls.And invites social situations before they are ready. Also early puberty can limit total height growth.
Early puberty is a symptom of estrogen mimicking chemicals in food and water. Body weight and fat ratio will also bring on early menses. Typical early menses is a combination of fast food, limited physical exercise and being overweight for one's height.
In the days before drive through restaurants, computers, 200 channel TV and when kids walked to school. 1st menses was an age 12-14 deal.
Well I am one who thinks it is never too young to talk to a child about their body as long as you keep the talk age appropriate and at their level. Why would it be in any way bad for a six year old to know about periods? You don't have to go into all the details at once, you could just introduce the idea to her. I think the best approach would be to make sure she is aware that you and most other women have periods and kinda take her questions as they come. It's something you can revisit several times as she gets closer to the age.
As far as not wanting to scare her, I think that will depend on your attitude towards your own period. Just let her know-"Yes, periods can be annoying at times, but they are a positive part of life because,,,"
I'm also in the group that there should be an open line of communication about our bodies. I don't remeber when my mom started talking to me about sex and body changes but I do know that it was never a shameful topic.
When I was probably 10 my mom made a period pack for me that was a cute little make-up bag with some pads and clean underwear and other girly things ( I don't remember all that was in there). But I kept it in my backpack just in case I started at school. I thought it was fun and grown up. I also had the American Girl bodies book.
I think the "period pack" is a really good idea.
I know that I knew about getting my period before we talked about it in school. My mom had gotten her period when she was 11 and had really bad cramps and problems with it. She was worried that me and my sisters would be the same, so she made sure we knew about it and that she would answer our questions. Also, my great grandma made sure that every girl in our family knew about getting her period, because when my great grandma got her period she knew nothing about it and thought because she was bleeding, she was going to die. she didn't want any of us to ever be that scared about getting her period.
I think that as long as what ever you tell your daughter is age appropriate and that you make it not scary, it will be fine. I think when my mom told me about it, she said that it was part of growing up and becoming a woman. She made it seem like it was a special part of growing up.
When I discussed this my DD, I made sure not to make a big deal. One of the easist ways to start a discussion is if you both know a pregnant friend or relative. Ask her if she knows how the baby started to grow. She may be surprise you with what she knows. I used that to trace back to how the mom's body got ready for the baby to start growing. Don't turn it into a everything you need to know in one sitting type of discussion. I did it very gradually. Also, be careful with wording b/c this could cause her to have preconcieved ideas. Also be very open to having her come to you to discuss anything
I started when I was in 5th grade (11 yrs old). I was one of the first girls in my class to start my period. I remember watching "the video" The boys were in one class room and the girls in another. We watched the period video and the erection video. I will never forget the boingy sound the cartoon penis made when it was erected. Kinda makes me giggle now.
Anyway, I had a stepmother who was not very informative or helpful when I did need something-personal like my period. When she did try to explain about my period and my body changes, it was not helpful. It was the most traumatic experience for me, as my body changed she would call me fat and poke fun at me about my body changes. I figured out my body by myself. I am self-conscience and I think it has a lot to do with that traumatic (which should have been special) time in my life.
I don't have kids yet but when I do and if I do have daughters I will be more informative and understanding than my stepmother was to me. I want there to be an open communication line and lots of questions from my children if and when they need help.
I think if you think your daughter needs to know/or is asking questions at the age of 6 then go for it but be prepared for lots of questions though. HTH