July 2010 Weddings
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Our parents don't like the house!

Ok, so I get that I'm a married woman living on my own with DH, but in buying a home, it would be nice if our parents even LIKED the house.  They went from liking it before we put an offer in to not liking it at all in 2 weeks, and I'm crushed.  They think the street is too busy (it's got some traffic because of a nearby school, but it's not awful), and they're concerned because it got a 7/10 on the inspection and that some work will need to be done in the next 3-8 years.  They think that for the top of our price point, we should be getting more house or better house for the money.

I'm sorry, but money just doesn't GO that far on LI.  They're all living in homes that would sell for 700k or more, and they're not anything special!  It's just the HCOL of Long Island.  We can't afford a 700k house and what really frustrates me is that they don't understand that for our budget, this house is one of the better ones out there.  Does it need work?  Yeah, but not right away, and it's what you get with being a homeowner.

DH doesn't care about his parents' approval, and I know I shouldn't either - it's not their home.  But it's very hard NOT to care when all of them hate it and they're trying to look out for you.  DH and I decided that we want the sellers to take care of the entire electrical issues, or we walk.  We'll deal with the a/c unit when it goes (it's still operational, just old), but the house failed the electrical inspection and we want a credit for the full amount of the repairs.  It's just so frustrating! 

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Re: Our parents don't like the house!

  • ellen73ellen73 member
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    That stinks and it is frustrating.   Neither set of our parents were able to come look at our house. I am sure if they did, they would have pointed a few things out to us that are now sort of a pain.  Like the fact that the previous owners DIYd a lot of repairs that look "nice" but weren't that great of repairs.  And the fact that our layout is a little funky and that's not something that can be easily changed. 

    It sounds like you have a good plan!   Did you get the electrical estimate?  Did you actually go and look at other houses?   We had found two more we liked when we thought the seller was going to back out completely.  We would have been happy with either of those. 

     

  • The important thing is if you are happy with the house.  I know you want their approval, but at the same time, you and your DH need to make a decision that is best for you and your future.  

    Consider your parents' concerns.  See if they really are issues that you can deal with or if they are things that could bother/frustrate/cost you more in the future that you really are not happy with.  

    It is a tough decision and you really want to make sure that you are ready to make the purchase and settle into the house for the long term.  Good luck! 

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  • I'm sorry to hear that your folks are giving you another source of stress in an already stressful situation. I hope things get resolved on the electrical on the other house, since you seem to like that one the most. I don't have much more to say other than, I can TOTALLY relate to the "money doesn't go far here" sentiment. I hope everything works out soon, and for the best!
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  • I can say that I know 100% what you are going through.... a little background DH and I started looking at homes this past summer and finally closed on our current home in late December.  We put offers in on 2 other homes before we finally got our house, needless to say it was a tiring and somewhat frustrating process at times.  Before we found our house we found a house that we liked and that was a good deal for the area.  There were definite things that we wanted to change and that needed to be changed, but nothing major.  DH and I were ready to put an offer in and then my dad came and saw the house and really didn't like it.  He thought we were settling and should keep looking.  He thought a lot of the things we saw as minor changes were a bigger deal than we anticipated.  We were upset by this and confused, so we figure we would spend a few days thinking about it and keep on looking.  We ended up finding our house a week or so later and put an offer in the night we saw it without any family coming to see.  The two houses don't even compare and I am so glad that we waited/ 

     

    Alright, now my point after my long winded story lol.  Obviously you and DH have to do what you want and go with your gut, but sometimes parents as annoying as they can be do make some good points.  I am sure your parents were excited about seeing the house at first, but after hearing about the changes that need to be made they are just a little worried for you and want to make sure that you won't be in over your head.  I would sit down with DH and talk about what exactly you both want and go with your gut.  Once you make your decision whatever if may be your family will celebrate your new house with you.  GL!

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  • I understand how you feel.  I was so excited about my house, I was ready to make an offer the first night I looked at it.  Then my dad came to see it, and he encouraged me to wait.  When my mom and brother came back with him the second time we looked at it, they all started pointing out all this stuff that was wrong with it.  I was really bummed.  The only good thing in the end was that I significantly lowered the offer I was going to make the first night I saw it, and I ended up getting it for about $4,000 less than I would have had I not waited.

    Try to consider that your parents just want the best for you.  It can be difficult to see that when you're so excited by something and want them to be also.  Good luck!

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  • imagebenmel31:

    The important thing is if you are happy with the house.  I know you want their approval, but at the same time, you and your DH need to make a decision that is best for you and your future.  

    Consider your parents' concerns.  See if they really are issues that you can deal with or if they are things that could bother/frustrate/cost you more in the future that you really are not happy with.  

    It is a tough decision and you really want to make sure that you are ready to make the purchase and settle into the house for the long term.  Good luck! 

    I totally agree. While I definitely think you need to do what's right for you and your DH, you should also take your parents concerns into consideration. At least think about them for a minute. You don't need their approval, but just make sure that the points they raise won't end up costing you more or come back to haunt you in the future.

    Good luck and keep us posted!

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