North Florida Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: vent/confession/uo Thursday
I have two. First, my parents said they were planning to visit in October when they were here 2 weeks ago. I figured my mom would call/email and we could talk dates. Yes, I'm on maternity leave, but that doesn't mean I'll be home twiddling my tumbs. This morning I get an email from her with their flight confirmation. Part of their trip falls during the weekend we planned to go to NC for our college's Homecoming since we haven't been back since graduation. Way to just book a flight and not check dates with me, mom. Luckily she was able to cancel for a full refund w/in 24 hours... but still annoying!
Second, I'm freaking 30 weeks pregnant and still getting violent morning sickness once a week or two. WTF?! I'm still taking Zofran daily and still getting sick. I'm so over this. Gah!!!
Vent: I'm ready to give the finger to my allergies. Every day this week I've woken up feeling like hell (can't breathe, watery eyes, sore throat). Thank god my boss just gave me a Zyrtec this morning.
Confession: DH & I went are seeing a counselor. We suck at arguing & we need to address it & learn to fight fair. He acts like a martyr & I'm a passive-aggressive ***.
UO: Not sure if this is UO, but I'm really fuucking proud of Jacksonville for electing a Black Democrat mayor. Would've hit the trifecta if he was gay as well.
& a work-related vent:
As part of our training program, we have to take these courses & tests for specific lines of insurance. I get that they're trying to educate us on the coverage, but they're so nitpicky & time consuming. & from my understanding, the answers to the tests used to circulate around the office until this past year. So now, me & another girl are stuck busting our butts to get the exam grades they're expecting when previous takers have had the answers beforehand.
Also, when the CW & I confronted our training coordinator regarding the amount of material & time frame we're given to prepare (ETA: 172 pages in about a week ON TOP of doing our full-time jobs), she had absolutely no clue how much it was. Not to mention she's never even seen the tests.
I'm not really sure what this falls under other than just me being sad and potentially taking something too personally before I have any of the facts.
I just saw a FB status from an old schoolmate at Clemson that she is heading to Orlando with 3 other schoolmates, 2 of whom I consider close friends. I had no idea they were coming to FL. From what I can tell it's not a work/school related trip but just a fun vacation. I'm sad that neither of my friends let me know they'd be around. Not that I could have made the trip for sure, or that I'd want to crash their vacation, but if I was going to be in SC I would definitely have told them and at least mentioned the possibility of meeting up for lunch or something.
I texted them both this morning asking if they were coming to FL (passive aggressive much?) and haven't gotten a response from either yet . I'm probably overreacting and there's probably a perfectly reasonable explanation for why they didn't say anything but I'm taking it personally and it hurt my feelings. I really would have loved to see both of them, and even the two other girls.
Vent: If I get one more freaking text message from people about if the baby is here I will flip out. Do you think I had him and we decided to keep it a secret???
Confession: I am proud of DH that he has started his own business. I am glad that he did a franchise and has such great support from the corporate office with advertising, helping to set things up and even sending someone to help run it whenever I decide to have the baby. At the same time I hate that DH works so freaking much (usually 8-5 during the day and then on the computer until 11 and then again he is sometimes up at some ungodly hour working).
Confession #2: I really hope this business doesn't fail cause if it does we are financially screwed. This is only his 2nd week being operational (but they have had minimum advertising so far) and he has only had 2 jobs. I am trying so hard to be his bigggest cheerleader but I am constantly worried about the financial aspect of it even though we don't have to really worry about it until October.
I'm sorry Lucky. I agree with CD!
I hope you understand that what I meant by my UO is that I'm proud that race didn't stop him from being elected. I agree with you 110%. I think its time that we as a society stop caring about race, sex & sexual orientation when electing our officials.
Thanks. Makes me feel a little better to know it's not just me.
I'm glad you guys are addressing the fair fighting with counseling. I'm sure it's not an easy step but it is a really good one in the right direction. Zombie hugs.
Lucky, I would feel the same way. Sorry
K&K, Hopefully people will leave you alone. I would forward them to haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com
I understood what you said. I didn't intend for it to sound like I was talking about what you said. This bothers me, way more than it should. I get that we are in the South, but we should be past this, IMO.
I have seen this and made a joke to DH the other night about it. I may just have to start using that site.
Lucky, I would definitely feel the same way. Totally justified.
Vent: Cramps suck. (breaking news, right? heh) So does being on BC but still getting AF early (but she never leaves early) every freaking month.
Confession #1: I'm scared of what my best friend's new baby will do to our friendship.
Confession #2: I wish my DH had a business trip coming up. I could use a few days to myself
My Ovulation Chart
What tests are you taking? Kaplan?
That's awesome, CD. I have a good friend who is really miserable in her marriage bec they didn't address a similar issue, and now that they've been married a while and have kids she's finding it really hard to "fix" things. Good for you guys for nipping it in the bud.
Yes! So annoying.
I'm reallllly glad we started going. It's given us a lot of insight into how many ways an argument can go wrong.
DH and I used to be horrible fighters! I'm not really sure how it got better. I think his temper isn't what it use to be. He would get hot headed immediately and it would set off the inner Italian in me. Horrible. We could still use some help in how to really hear each other and communicate things more clearly without getting defensive...but at least now we can discuss things in a calm clear headed manner.
It's awesome that you guys are doing that. I think for the most part every couple could benefit from learning how to communicate better. No one does it perfectly.
Our biggest problem is we make big assumptions about what the other person is saying & the intention behind it. We actually did this in front of the therapist & I'm glad we did. I said something in a joking manner in an attempt to lighten the mood, he assumed I was being passive aggressive & got defense. In turn, I got defensive & it easily spirals from there. We both get caught in in trying to fight to win.
Her biggest piece of advice was to just stop & ask the intention behind the statement in question. By stopping the argument in its tracks, we can clearly see how something could've been taken the wrong way & also how we are misconstruing each other's words/gestures/body language.
Ex: While we were talking, a car drove by the office causing the sunlight to hit my eyes, so I made a face. DH assumed I was reacting to what he said, not realizing what had actually happened. He could have easily gotten defensive at what he preceived as a derogatory facial expression, but instead he asked what the face was about. I explained it was the sun & we quickly moved on.
How is it that my BABY is going to be 3?
BFP-2/25/11; 8 Wk U/S-3/25/11-No HB, measured 6.5 wks; D&C
DH & I went to counseling last year and it was the best decision ever. We were starting to take each other for granted. I am so glad we went before Olivia gets here because we we really needed to work on our communication.
This can still be a big thing for us from time to time. We make assumptions, get defensive from those assumptions and then the whole thing goes downhill. One of my biggest things (apparently) is my tone. DH is super sensitive to it...and I'm not even aware of it most of the time. I usually have to catch myself and say, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to use that tone or for it to come out the way that it sounded." It takes some work for sure. I feel your pain!
Vent: DH lost his fuucking wallet yesterday with $400 in it. I could kill him.
Confession: We have also been to counseling in the past, mostly for DH's depression issues and the way that effected our marriage, but also because I am a major control freak and have in a lot of ways emasculated him without even realizing it.
UO: Every couple should go to marriage counseling for some reason or another and if you don't think you need it, you're in denial. Marriage is hard, and keeping it working when you've been together forever is hard. We could all use help.
ITA with this. And I'd even say pre-marital counseling should be a personal requirement. That definitely helped DH and I see what problems could arise in the future, and when they did we were more prepared to tackle them. It also began our marriage with a good communication method.
ITA with this. And I'd even say pre-marital counseling should be a personal requirement. That definitely helped DH and I see what problems could arise in the future, and when they did we were more prepared to tackle them. It also began our marriage with a good communication method.
I was really looking forward to premarital counseling and ours turned out to be a total joke. What a bummer.
My Ovulation Chart
Mine did too. Sometimes I wonder if we had a done big thing before we got married if I wouldve gone through with it.
Confession: I had a weird nonsexual but intimate dream about this guy I dated before XH. I saw him Saturday and even though he's married now and I know all this crazy stuff about him because he kinda dated one of my other friends all of these feelings that I had for him rushed to the surface. He's like the exact opposite of XH is tons of ways and it was like he was my "hero" in the dream. It was so weird and I couldnt get it out of my head all day. Ugh.
Vent: I worked more this week than I have since I started and it's kinda sucked. The baby has been a little off the wall and it will only sleep if he's in my arms, which is not something I want him to get used to. Im so ready for 4:00 tomorrow.