September 2010 Weddings
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
MIL Vent, Rant, Praise...
I just have a mini vent.
I sent out invites for Richard's b-day party. MIL just texted me asking what we're doing for his b-day 
. Um...I sent you an invitation for his b-day party, was I not clear on the invite?
Next...
Re: MIL Vent, Rant, Praise...
I have a great MIL, but I know she wishes I'd be more open/demonstrative. She's always wanted a daughter, but just had DH. We have lunch with them every other week, but even that's too much for me. She makes me feel smothered. I'm just used to being on my own. My mother kind of let me do my own thing and was there when I needed her. So I feel bad because I'm pretty sure MIL is possibly hurt by my attitude* sometimes, but I just don't need her super involved in my life.
*not that I'm ever less than polite, but I get the sense she wishes she could have a closer relationship with me
I have the best MIL. Ever since my my mom passed away my MIL has even more than before has treated me like her own daughter. She is always very caution about not replacing my mom also.
Like for the wedding would do anything I ask to help but wouldn't step on toes. With my pregnancy has been wonderfull. I can call her at any time with questions, concerns, vents. I am so blessed to have her in my life especially since I don't have my mom.
please note, i am already emotional today, but this made me tear up. i hope she knows how you feel
i love my MIL. no complaints here
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I also love my MIL. We have dinner at least once a week, sometimes w/ DH, sometimes w/o.
However, I DO hate how she doesn't understand my financial situation. No, MIL, I cannot pay you rent right now, I'm in the process of paying off my debt. Give me 1.5 more years and I'm good to go. No, I did not grow up w/ anything and everything I ever wanted. Buying things for myself is a treat.
And please don't complain about how your son is bad w/ money. YOU and FIL spoiled him rotten, and never taught him money management. We are working thru it together and learning along the way.
My MIL is passive aggressive and extremely selfish. She has to some extent alienated all of her children and their spouses to the exclusion of her oldest daughter, who is a trainwreck and a psycho. So me, MFD, SIL and her hubby and BIL all stick together and just take her as she comes. Some days she loves you, some days she hates you. She is very nice to your face, but talks about SIL and BIL to me, and me to them, and both of us to the psycho daughter, etc. etc. I have learned to be civil and nice but to keep my distance.
As an added bonus, she blames a lot of things that happen in her family on me, even when I am not invovled. It's sort of a joke between MFD, SIL and her hubby, BIL and me now. Even the cousins I am close with and the other aunts and uncles know it.
Everyone out there with amazing MIL's, I am so jealous that you have such great MIL's and I am so jealous!! I love my FIL, but could do without MIL.
Here's my rant for the day. (most of you) probably already know that MIL is certifiably cray cray. IL's are separated, for the past 17 years. FIL underwent hip surgery and became paralyzed about 15 years ago. Last month he had to get a trans femoral bypass since the blood flow had completely stopped in his right leg. He just went back to work Monday.
MIL has spent every waking moment the last two weeks telling anyone and everyone that FIL should have worked harder before his surgeries so he wouldn't be in such financial condition now. She told DH that, had he taken more cases, they would have been richer, but after he got paralyzed he was milking his injury for the children's pity and didn't go back to work as soon as he should have.
Who says that?!?!
Keep in mind, she hasn't worked a single day since she was 16 years old. Her job is "being a mother."
Holy crap, Kaz, she's BSC!
TN ate my earlier response, but mine is mostly praise. MIL is very nice and supportive, and actually remembered the date of our first dr's appt and called H that night. I just wish she'd called me! She'll ask H how I'm doing, but isn't reaching out to me directly, which is a little weird because she normally does email and call me.
::jaw drops:: I'm so sorry Kaz
Thank you guys for the love. It is weird having someone so mean around me.
Mush- Has your MIL always spoke through H? Maybe she doesn't want to step on your toes? How was she during your wedding planning?
She kept joking that her only job was to wear beige and show up. It might be that she used to call him and he wouldn't answer, and then she'd call me and I would answer, but now H is actually picking up. I was a little disappointed in their initial reaction, that it just seemed like, well okay, that's good news. But then they told a bunch of people, like H's grandma. Um, maybe we wanted to tell her?
I don't know. H says I'm overanalyzing it, which I'm sure is true.
Kaz Im really sorry.
Mush- Sounds to me like she might not want to step on toes. Maybe she doesn't want to be the overbearing crazy MIL with the baby.
Ugh, Kaz. That sucks.
Mush, ITA w/ Jessie. Sounds like she's trying to be interested without invading your space.
MIL isn't bad/evil/BSC. She just has no life of her own. She got KU w/ K when she was 19 or 20 and she missed out on her partying days b/c she was a mom. So, she's trying to make up for that now, in her 50's. It's kind of embarrassing when she is the drunkest one at the party, and a solid 20 years older than anyone else there.
Plus, her & FIL are divorced and she hates being alone (can't occupy herself, insists on being around other people 24/7) so she suffocates her kids. K screens calls and doesn't say yes everytime she wants to see us, but SIL relies on her for too much and can't/won't ignore her. If MIL had her way, we'd all have dinner together at least 3/4 times a week. I try to restrict it to once a month except for special occasions. (She's getting worse since BabyQ came along).
That would drive me batty! I also hate when people like or comment on their own photos. Yeah, I know YOU think it's interesting/cool/whatever, you posted it!
And thanks, ladies, I think you guys are right about MIL, that she's trying not to overstep her boundaries. It's funny that now that we have something to talk about (Predator), H is willing to talk to his mom, and finally answers his phone! Of course, I don't mind not being the one to try to help her open Skype every.single.time we use it, or how to use her DVR, etc. Lol.
H does have a sister and she lives with the ILs, and I think she plants crap in their head sometimes, like 'Mush doesn't want to hear from you all the time!' when I'm actually perfectly happy to have that connection. Or she'll roll her eyes at their mom like she's being a bother to me.
IUI #1 10/12/11 (Bravelle + HCG + Prometrium & acupuncture) = 10/26 BFP! Beta #1=250, Beta #2= 615. 1st u/s 11/8.