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trip expense...what would you do?
we are going out of town this weekend for a family member's 1st birthday. MIL and FIL were invited, but FIL doesn't want to go and MIL won't drive (even though she has a license and they have 2 cars) and doesn't want to take the train by herself. she asked to go with us, but we can't fit her in our car with both car seats. DH suggested we rent a car, but a car big enough for all of us is going to run us about $200 for the weekend, not to mention it won't be as fuel efficient as our car. and we'd split the extra expenses with MIL.
i'm not crazy about this plan. for one, we are really trying to watch our budget since I went part-time at my 9-5. for two, it seems a huge waste of money, since MIL could take the train for $100 RT and then we wouldn't have to pay an extra $100 for the privilege of going where we'd already planned to go. i'm also kind of perturbed that we are expected to pay extra b/c she wants to go. i kind of think she should pay for all of it since we would not be renting a car if it were not for her going with us.
ugh. i'm so frustrated by this situation. she and FIL are always so helpless and DH enables them. he knows it, but feels like his hands are tied sometimes. and i totally understand how he feels that way (and i sympathize with him), but it still frustrates me. i just want to tell them to stop acting like children sometimes!
WWYD? suck it up and pay the extra cost? (jeez I could think of a lot of things i'd rather spend $100 on!) tell MIL that she has a DL and should use it? suggest she take the train?
Re: trip expense...what would you do?
Since we are childless by choice, DH and I both have 2 seater cars. So, when MIL comes we rent a car that fits us all comfortably. MIL has always paid for it (even though we tell her we will).
Personally, I would rent the car and tell them they can split the cost (car and gas) if they want to drive with you.
For me, it is easier knowing they are taken care of - I am a control freak and I tend to spoil my parents and MIL......
I don't think I helped, but..........
yes, you did! thank you.
i think we will end up renting the car and splitting the cost. but it's good to hear from others about what they do. FIL is older (80) and really shouldn't be driving at all. so i expect this to be more of an issue in the coming years. i'm afraid doing this will set a precedent that we will have to live with.
That's ridiculous! Why on earth can't she drive herself?
Any chance she would pay the extra money for the rental car?
I don't want to make this sound petty, but how much do your in-laws help you out? I ask because, I know that mine do *a lot* for us (or for C), so renting a car would really be no big deal in the grand scheme of things.
But, I totally feel your pain. I hate having to work around people's weird issues when you really just want to tell them to get over it. We have had to rearrange many driving arrangements for family functions because of some kind of stupidity or someone else's idea of what's "convenient".
Volunteer your spot in the car and take the train.
Oh how I would love that quiet time to myself....
Can you rearrange the car seats at all so it is possible to squeeze someone back there. I know for my brothers wedding, we would up having to take an extra person in my Prius, so we ditched the base of the carrier into the truck and those few inches allowed us to fit someone else in the back seat.
This was my thought too. If it was my MIL (the good one) I would spend the $100 because she has dropped $$ over the years on us - plane tickets to visit us, gifts for the kids, buying us dinner every once in a while, free babysitting - so for me the $100 is a no brainer to spend on her.
And actually even if she didn't do a lot for us - I'd probably drop the $100 to keep the peace. But I have two other MILs I wouldn't spend a dime on, so I guess it depends on lots of things.
Brilliant! Is this an option Lindsey? Seriously, I'd do that if I could!
i am sorry i think i just found my husbands long lost sister! i had no idea my mil had a girl we didn't know about
anyway. im heartless and cruel and would say suck it up mil and take the train drive our have HER pay for the rental car and then spilt the gas. she's inconviencing you guys.
my mil is also helpless and thankfully my dh does not enable her but everyone else in hte damn family does. i won't tolerate it.
i also LOVE the option of YOU taking the train,
and seriously where are you going that you can take the train for a 100 round trip????? thats a steal. i used to go to philly and it would cost me like 90 bucks round trip.
if you think it's going to set a precedent for the future, i'd start off being a little less lenient than you would be down the line. like, agree to renting the car and drive her but asking her to foot the bill for it and half of the gas. since you'd be driving anyway it doesn't seem fair to make her foot all of the gas, but if you have to RENT A CAR to accomodate all of you just because she doesn't want to drive or take the train, then she should cover most of the cost, IMO.
i just foresee you having to plunk down $100 extra and take her every time you go to some OOT family event because you did it once...
I think it would depend on which MIL! Ha!
With my mom or DH's real mom, it would be easy to say, it's going to cost $x for us to do that and they'd probably either volunteer to pick up all the extra, or see where it wasn't a good idea. (For example, my mom was looking at plane tickets to come out here and asked which airport was best. So, I told her that our town's airport was most convenient and that the other two nearest airports were 3-4 hours away one-way and it would be $x in gas for us to drive there but if she found a really awesome deal we'd do it. She came back and said that she'd just come to our town b/c it wasn't worth it for us to spend that time/money so she could save some.)
Now, with step-MIL, I'd probably just have to do it because if I didn't, I'd never, ever, ever hear the end of it. And, there's no way she'd ever offer to pay or even split it.
So, although I could find a million things I'd rather spend $100 on, I'd weigh the money against the family harmony and go with whatever choice is going to result in family harmony.
Oh, HUGELY big point. i guess i don't even need to think about this any more. she keeps our kids for us any time we ask (we don't ask a lot, but she always says yes when we do). done deal. thanks for pointing this out!
ha! i thought about it! but, that's the same $100. but....if we are going to spend $100 anyway...