At DH's new job, he works 2:30pm-11:30pm. For the first month we were here, he was able to come home for dinner from about 7-8. I was doing my usual meal planning/shopping each week and fixing whatever I had planned to be ready around 7. Now they've added duties to his position and he will never really know if he's going to be able to leave for dinner. This week he didn't come home Monday or Tuesday, then last night he called at 6:45 and said he was coming home, so I whipped up a quick breakfast-for-dinner.
I feel like our options are:
(1) I meal plan and make something every night, if he comes home he eats it, if he doesn't come home he re-heats it when he gets home at the end of the night, or I take his portion for my lunch the next day. I feel like this will get old, because it's a lot of effort when if it was just me, I'd be just as happy eating eggs & toast, a sandwich or some kind of frozen dinner. (Though somehow I feel like if we're going to eat together, we need something more substantial. I realize this does not make sense.)None of these options is ideal, but if we don't see each other for dinner (i.e. if he just takes something with him to eat for dinner, or goes out alone regardless of whether he gets a break), we basically won't see each other during the week - he is still asleep when I leave for work in the mornings, and even with my current part-time hours, I get home after he's left. Then I go to bed before he gets home in order to get enough sleep.
WWYD?
Re: Meal Planning / Budget - WWYD
I don't know if this helps you at all but what I typically do, as both my husband and I have unpredictable schedules, is make something that can cover that evening and either lunch for the next day or leftovers for the next night, sometimes multiple nights. It's hard when you don't know a schedule. Even something like baked ziti can be prepped pretty easily, which is my main concern. I don't necessarily mind a large bake time, I just want a quick prep time. This is where the crock pot comes in handy as well. In fact, if your husband doesn't leave until 2pm or so, he could even prep the crock pot (or meal) and you could be coming home when it's finished in the slow cooker or throw something in the oven that's already prepped saving you time as well. That will help you prevent wasting meat as well as you can put frozen meat right in the crock pot. Then if he gets home for dinner, great, if not he could at least have a home cooked meal, even if it's last nights leftovers.
That is pretty much my husband's schedule and he can't come home at all.
I cook every night. He only eats fresh meals on the weekends. It sucks for him, but his job kinda sucks, so I guess that's that!
He doesn't have a problem with it. On weekdays I try to make things are good (or better) as leftovers and leave fancy stuff like steak and other things that don't reheat well for the weekends when he's around.
As for eating out expenses - I rarely eat out. DH will eat out sometimes, but if there's leftovers he wont, unless it's crazy busy and he can't get a real break, he'll eat something in the car. But i'd say 90% of the time he eats leftovers and he doesn't mind it all.
And, fwiw, we don't really see each other during the week (i'll stay up until 1130/12, so i'll see him for about 45 minutes), and it's been like that for 6 years. You get used to it, and to be honest, it's kind of nice. He's never had Saturdays/Sundays off before, so it's kind of weird getting used to being around each other so much!!
We make the rockin' world go 'round.
i would probably do some combo of the three. have a few ideas for easy meals that week on the nights he can come home, meeting him out (maybe just once/week?), and make something for yourself that he can have when he gets home or bring to work the next night. ditto pp that dishes like baked ziti and crock pot meals are good options.
i think with the unpredictability, it will probably take a little bit of time to figure out what works best for you.
I'd plan to make 3 meals a week, plus whatever you do on weekends.
Buy something that doesn't necessarily require tons of prep like chicken breasts and rice and/ or crock pot meals for at least 1 of those nights. We make about 2 meals a week this way and make enough for us to have lunch the next day as well since it is that easy, we might as well get the max value for the time.
Buy 1 thing that is a stretch for you, or something new to try.
Buy 1 thing that may not be super easy, but is something you enjoy.
That way, if you have leftovers, you can eat them on nights when you aren't cooking for him and/ or lunch. Or he can eat them when he gets home.
Stand up for something you believe in.
We have similar problems. Dh used to work 2-10 and couldn't predict his dinner schedule. Now he works 6am-2 in theory, except sometimes he gets home closer to 8 pm. It's been a nightmare for meal planning.
We do a mix of things. Sometimes we eat out, sometimes I make something that Will hold---stew, chili, lasagna, most of the time I make something I can prepare quickly. Usually DH calls when he's about to leave or as he's leaving. he works about 15 mins away. If I start rice and chicken as he leaves, it will be ready a few minutes after he gets home..
I talk to Dh throughout the day and sometimes he can predict when he'll be there late, but not always.
I would plan to make 3 meals a week like pp suggested. Have you ever cooked for your freezer? I make extra when I cook and then freeze it. I have a lot of frozen cooked stuff that's makes for an easy meal when something comes up at the last minute and I don't have time to cook.
- ground beef - add to a jar of spaghetti sauce and pasta
- taco meat - bake some shells and topping are whatever I can find in the fridge
- cooked chopped chicken breasts - heat it up to put on top of salad, quick casseroles, cheese and veggies on tortillas for quesadillas
- pulled chicken for sandwiches, i freeze buns too and then toast them before serving
My mom freezes soups, chili and casseroles in individual servings so she doesn't have to cook when my dad's not home.
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Yeah, I think I will end up doing a combo. Like maryandkirk said, plan on cooking 3 meals during the week. It won't break us if we eat out once and chances are good that he'll won't have time to come home or meet out at least once. If he does end up coming home all week, we always have stuff on hand for breakfast like I did last night, or soup & sandwiches or pasta (which is what I did tonight).
Good point to about crock pot meals, and having DH start them. My sister got me a nice new one for Christmas and I need to discover some new recipes!
He's more likely to know for sure that he won't come home, if there's something specific scheduled and they've assigned it to him ahead of time. So, he can let me know when that's the case and I'll just have to get used to winging it the rest of the time!
I do cook for the freezer sometimes - I'll make a whole casserole or a whole pot of soup & freeze half. But, I always thaw it out to re-heat. Do you re-heat straight from the freezer? How long do you allow?
Stand up for something you believe in.
This is what I do too. I rarely freeze a whole casserole or whatever. I use those glad containers (actually they're just empty lunch meat containers) and put a serving in each and the freeze them. This also is perfect for when there's no leftovers for lunch, you can just grab and go.
We make the rockin' world go 'round.