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Party invitation ettiquette
I'm posting this here instead of on the Babies board because I also want to get opinions from people who don't have kids.
We want to throw a party this summer in honor of LO's first birthday, but we're not doing a typical kid's birthday party. He's too young to understand birthdays, so he couldn't care less, and we want to invite friends who we haven't seen in a while and who we normally wouldn't invite to a kid's birthday party. How would you phrase the invitations? I don't want to hide the fact that it's LO's birthday, and there will probably be birthday cake. But I don't want people to think it's a typical kid's party or feel like gifts are expected. If the invitation says something like we're throwing a backyard barbeque to celebrate kiddo's first year, does that give the right impression?
Re: Party invitation ettiquette
Yes, we are inviting our friends' kids, and there will be some kid-friendly activities.
I wasn't sure if saying outright "no gifts please" on the invitation is ok. I've heard mixed things about that.
Congrats - surviving the first year deserves a milestone celebration!
Here's the wording from our invite: "Please join us to celebrate a year of surviving and thriving - and see DS's first encounter with icing. Adults, take heart, we'll have an open bar. Kids, take notice, we have play spaces indoors and out. Hope you can make it! Please note no gifts are required for admittance to this event." So we aimed for an adult-friendly afternoon get-together with an intermission for birthday cake.
Here's what actually happened: It was a typical kid's birthday party. Almost no one had a drink, even the adults sans kids, and everyone brought a gift. (Including one toy helicopter with no card / lost card and to this day I am asking people about it trying to thank the right person). Goody bags were a hit, especially with older kids. While it's good to be inclusive and flexible, I think there's not much camoflauge for a kid's birthday party.
Oooh I may borrow some of your invite wording, if that's ok. And thanks for the warning about what actually happened.
Either it's a kids bday party, or it's not. If you want to invite people who you wouldn't invite to a bday party (and want them to come), then just have a nice summer cookout. And serve b-day cake as a dessert. You aren't hiding anything, just not highlighting it.
If it's "advertised" as a kids bday party, there will be folks who opt out b/c it's just not their scene. Family kids are one thing, but I don't think I'd go to a party for just a friend.
As for gifts, if some people bring gifts, it will make those that didn't uncomforatble. If you are having family there, I'd consider doing a smaller family thing either before or after the bigger party. They likely want a party for the kid.
Just giving a childfree POV :-)
I could phrase it as a party to celebrate us surviving the first year of parenthood, and then it's more about us and less about the kid. I don't know if that makes a difference.
I do like the idea of having a smaller family-focused party earlier in the day. Maybe we can do the cake then. (Can you tell I'm big on the idea of birthday cake?)
I agree with this. If it's blatantly a kids party (think bob the builder or hello kitty invites) we would stay far away because it just screams kid's party... but if it's a subtle invitation, we're more likely to show up thinking it's geared more towards adults.
We make the rockin' world go 'round.
So you don't think it would be odd to go to a friend's casual party and have them bring out birthday cake at some point?
Cake never gets the side eye
If the kid was older and you were going to proceed out with a lit candles and everyone singing happy bday, that would be a little odd. But again, what are they going to do, complain about cake??
I think what you are trying to have is a party for both kids and adults, and that's totally doable. But if you are trying to disguise a kid's party as an adult GTG, you won't be able to do that. If kids are present, then it's not an adult party. I like the wording pp suggested but I would leave out anything about gifts. People really want to bring gifts to a kid's 1st b-day party, it's a big deal. So you'll get gifts regardless. I would not do 2 parties in one day, it'll overwhelm your LO. Plus, remember to schedule around his nap(s).
Before I was pregnant, I never took DH with me to my friends' kids' parties b/c if he saw the chaos (kids running around screaming) he would probably never want to have kids! So just be cognizant of the fact that some people will choose not to attend a party with a bunch of little kids running around.
But you SHOULD celebrate and have a cake, have 2 in fact! Harris Teeter will give you a free smash cake for baby's 1st b-day, get details at their bakery.
From my experience, I'd recommend embracing the kid birthday party. Surviving the year as a family is worth the fanfare. God bless the child-free who will come and enjoy themselves, and reward their loyalty by getting a sitter and going out with them for some adult time in the future. Do the cake and candles and have fun!
I agree with DCtoLow and I like her wording. I've previously stated my general dislike for kid's bday parties, but if I showed up for a casual bbq to find out it was actually a big milestone birthday I would feel totally awkward about not knowing and not bringing a gift. And chances are I'd run and order him something on Amazon that night to make up for it.
We just got an evite to a 1st bday party that sounds fairly adult-centric. It opened with a joke comparing the kid to Donald Trump and said that they would be having a good old fashioned "hang out" with food and drinks and cake. I can email you the exact wording, but they made it sound very casual and like it would be fun for the kid-free as well as those with munchkins.
I dunno, I think I'd be a little weirded out if I went to a "BBQ" to find that it's really a birthday party.
I'd embrace the birthday. That doesn't mean you have to make it all about the birthday. You're lucky, b/c due to timing alone, I think you'll be able to get away with it b/c you can have a casual outdoor bbq.
DD's b-day is at the end of January, and it totally sucks balls. If we have something at our house, there's not really any way to make it more grown-up (although, I always like to have at least beer and wine as a beverage choice! even if it's crappy wine!)
I like the wording thrown out by DCtoLow and Dumphy.