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Article: Does Having Children Make You Happy?
I thought this article on CNN was interesting:
http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/05/23/do.not.want.children/index.html?hpt=P1&iref=NS1
Apparently one in five women now end their child-bearing years without having a child, compared to one in 10 in the 1970s. They also go on to state that parents face more emotional distress than non-parents (which I don't think is that surprising.)
But what I found most interesting was this:
"Both Simon and Glass say parents in the U.S. often lack the proper support, child care and assistance to raise a child. They say they'd like to see the government implement and subsidize more "kid-friendly" policies to help families thrive."
Am I the only who thinks that before becoming parents, a couple should sit down and discuss these things? I know that it's not possible to have everything completely planned out and even the best laid plans will often fail, but is it really the government's responsibility to help?
I know that this can be a hot-button issue, but I thought it might be nice to have a healthy debate 
Re: Article: Does Having Children Make You Happy?
No, you're not the only one! I don't necessarily think we should subsidize. Yes, I think some aspects of the economy are making it harder today but with wise planning, many many American couples can find ways to budget in a way that works for their families. And it's actually amazing what some good planning can do... my sister's family has their third on the way and they have a very modest, one-income household. But they are content and paying the bills and saving for future goals. I also think that you have to remember that children can ultimately be a financial asset (not the main reason we should have kids, but they tend to be the ones who help care for you as you age and they can contribute in other ways).
I also have had to do a fair amount of reading on these recent claims that parenthood lessens a person's happiness. I think some of these articles don't take into account that a lot of the strain parents feel is temporary... the sacrifices of the early years, the stress of the teen years etc all fade. As children grow, happiness levels tend to rise quite high and it's rare for a parent to say they wish they didn't have a child. Also, there are many other intangible and tangible benefits to having children other than maintaining happiness levels.
And of course one has to define what happiness is and what that looks like to them over an entire life span.
Sorry for the rambling. This is my everyday world haha.
ETA: Also, I am not a fan of gov't jumping in too quickly (barring extreme disasters where all hands are needed on deck, including private charities) because so often, it's when we hit financial difficulties that we get the most creative and strategic about finances (if we hadn't been before). A little financial pain can go far in building character and money smarts (it's been a good lesson for me in the past, that's for sure).
Being a soon to be mommy, I have a similar take on the issue. I think that couples should at least somewhat discuss having a baby.. I'm not saying everything needs to be planned out and you don't have to pick their college just yet, but at least a general acknowledgment that having a child involves sacrifice, selflessness, and responsibility. I don't believe that the government should necessarily be required to help out because ultimately, two people made the decision to have sex (just my personal opinion, sorry if it offends) and I've seen many families survive happily on one income or in a mobile home even (that was my life)...
I do believe I will be happier with children, though.
I dont think anyone should go into parenthood expecting assistance from anyone (other than their spouse). Even teenagers are taught that having sex can result in pregnancy, so ultimately I believe that everyone should be responsible for their actions.
I'm not saying that someone that gets pregnant or has children and is experiencing financial difficulty doesnt deserve help from friends and family if its offered, but it should never be expected. Just my opinion.
(I totally realize that this particular issue wasnt the entire focus of the OP)
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I agree that having children would bring about more stress, but I also think that it would bring about greater happiness than you can have on your own or with your spouse. (Not saying everyone should have them or anything!) I guess I should say, for those who want kids, having kids will bring you higher highs and lower lows than not having kids... kidless folks will just be on a more even keel.
At least that's my theory.
Also, I don't think it's government's responsibility to step in... there are plenty of other people who need help out there.
1. I think this is probably THE thing to discuss as a couple. It's my impression that not enough couples actually discuss whether they both want children, how many, what their expectations are for bringing them up, and who will actually do what (i.e., working and childcare). A lot of people also seem surprised when they have a baby and it turns out there is sacrifice involved.
2. I think a lot of women are brought up with the idea that it's not really a choice to have kids (I know I was brought up with the idea that marriage and children are supposed to be your main goals in life). But getting married and children are choices, and maybe not the right ones for everyone. So I think some people might be really unhappy with kids, and others might think it's the best thing in their life, but it should be an active choice, not a default.
3. The article doesn't really explain what the "government policies" would be. I really don't think the government should financially subsidize children. There are certain parts of our culture that I think maybe policy could help though. For example, too many of my friends have said they were "afraid they were showing" or "afraid to tell work" they were pregnant because someone in their office was demoted after getting pregnant. I resent feeling like I'm expected to choose a career or having kids and I feel it's a lose-lose situation. My friend's boss actually told her she's a bad mother because she doesn't stay home with her daughter. At the same time, she feels she has to work extra to prove she still takes her job seriously. On the other hand, if you decide to pursue a career only, than people think you're cold and ruthless.
Okay, rambling... I guess my point is that it would be great if the government could create policies that would help out someone like my friend, so she could continue to contribute to society and the economy through her job in the same way as a man would be able to (even if he has a kid).
My biggest curiousity out of this article is...what is considered "lacking" in proper support, child care and assistance? What level of a lifestyle are people expecting to have with children that they are "lacking"? Are people having difficulty feeding their children or are they not able to provide them the latest pair of Air Jordans? My mom was a single mom and received government assistance for food, but she had to because my dad wouldn't pay child support and her four jobs were not cutting it to cover expenses while she finished her degree. What, beyond what we are currently provided as an option, are we "needing?" I don't see that it's necessary for the government to step in on this any further than they already have - companies are modifying their support system everyday to accomodate the costs of parenting. The statistics for divorce and single-family homes are increasing (unfortunately) everyday - companies are recognizing this and hopefully will continue to do so and provide the on-site childcare that I'm noticing is a popular trend here in my area.
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I think that parenting is a give and take and can be extremely rewarding, like zara and angie mentioned. It comes with higher highs and lower lows (good way to put it!) as I think a lot of things in life do, whether you have children or not.
Jen brings up a good point - what can be defined as lack of proper support? And who's to say what is enough vs. what isn't? I don't think I'd trust the government to define that nor should they be responsible to do so. Every parent and family is different. What's right and worked for my family growing up certainly won't be the way that I raise my child when we choose to start a family. My parents were self employed and always home/around when my brother and I grew up. My husband and I will likely continue to work full time when we start our family. Does that mean that we don't have the proper support system? No, I don't think it does.
It's definitely important for a couple to discuss whether or not they want children. It's an emotional and financial decision. It's a huge responsibility to bring a new life into the world, it should be carefully considered and a government support system shouldn't really even be considered as a "fall back"
To Tem's point of having to choose your career over a family...that's a tough one. Being told that you are a "bad mother" because you want to also be able to focus on your career is wrong, but then again it's from a woman's perspective. I do think that it would be very helpful for companies, when and where possible, to support working mothers. Allow them flexible work arrangements, provide a child care support system in emergencies etc.
I think that it will be interesting to see what happens over the next 20 - 30 year period. Will the rate of women who choose to not have children continue to rise? Why will that be? Will it be because it's finally an accepted choice/alternative or simply because they didn't have the means or support to have their own family?