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So there's this guy... Updated in last post
I've been debating even posting this here because I dont want to sound like a crazy single desperate poster that belongs on SO, but I know yall will give it to me straight.
I have a major crush on my tattoo artist. We've known each other since I was in high school and we actually went to the same church that I went to with XH back then. He's the antithesis of everything XH and is really not what you would picture me liking, but I've always had a thing for him. He dated one of my friends 5 or so years ago and we run in the same semi circle, or we used to, my circle seems to be only young marrieds now. We have a lot of the same likes and interests, even if we are pretty different.
My bf has been insistent that we would be perfect together and has been trying to think of ways to get us together in the same social setting, but it hasn't really worked out. I was also pretty sure he had no idea I was even single anyways. Well, Friday night when we went to get our tattoos touched up, bf somehow worked into the conversation that I was single again. He asked what happened and I told him that we split up about 6 months ago and that Im doing great and the divorce decree should be in the mail any day now (literally any day now, I feel like Im bf's with the mailbox right now). We told him we were going to see Pirates later and said he should come. He had another client after us, so he said to text him the times and he would if he could.
So I texted him the time, convinced that he wouldn't come and sure enough, he said he would. I got his ticket since we could get there before hand and he ended up giving me a $20 even though I said that was too much and it was on me. Small talked until the movie started, NBD. We left the movie saying we should do this again and it was great hanging out, since we hadnt in while.
My bf was all silly about it and is now thinking of more ways to get us together, but the options are really slim since I do so much with couples. He knows I've been visiting churches trying to find one I like in Pensacola and bf thinks I should visit his Sunday, but I dont want to seem like Im stalking him. So, short of texting him again saying that I had a great time and that we should hang out more I have no idea what to do, or if I should even do anything. On top of that, I really think that he's just a great guy who wanted to go see and movie and is not thinking of me in any other light, YKWIM?
So WWNFND? (btw, thanks for indulging me)
Re: So there's this guy... Updated in last post
Since you have a "just friends" history with this guy, I'd wait to make sure he's interested and not just hanging out. But I also tend to take things easy that way. I wouldn't try his church this weekend, but definitely text him. The text lets him know there's an open door, but you give him the chance to make the first move if interested. If he doesn't make a move shortly, then go on with your business and enjoy having a new-ish guy friend to hang with occasionally. If he does, then awesome!
Kudos on getting out there and not being scared!
"My 101 List - Updating asap, I swear!
GAH! I had a long response for you, but the Nest ate it. Let me see if I can remember everything I had to say.
1) Who cares if he's not what everyone would picture you with? What you want is what matters. If it works, it works. I mean no snark by this at all, but it seems like you did the this-guy-is-right-for-me-on-paper & it didn't work.
2) I definitely think there is some interest there. By giving you $20 to pay you back, it *sounds* like he was trying to buy your ticket as well. Granted, it could be just friendly though.
3) I would hold off on going to his church until he brings it up or invites you. You don't want to seem overbearing. Also don't go out of your way to see him. I wouldn't text him either. Let him come to you. I'm really big on the He's Just Not That Into You lesson... If he wants you, he'll come get you.
I think CD hit the nail on the head. I think the $20 was a sign that he was trying to be gentlemanly. I'm thinking that he may be testing the waters a little himself. I'm a little torn about whether you should text him or not though. I agree with CD about the "he's just not that into you" lesson but I'm also big on women being able to make the first move if it's appropriate. Although...you kind of already did by inviting him to the movie. Wait a few days and if you don't hear from him then you can re-evaluate and decide if you want to contact him. He may not want to be too pushy even if he is interested since he knows you're newly single.
Bummer. I'm sorry Laner.
You could always join the rest of SO & chase after Lovestruck.
Woo-hoo!!!
HOLD UP.
Laner, when did you text him & why did it take him so long to reply? It literally takes 5 seconds to type back "Had a great time! Let's do it again!"
Midnight showing? He's making plans with you with less than 24 hours notice?
I think she said he was a tattoo artist. If he was in the middle of a tattoo it is not like he can stop in order to text her back.
Why is it wrong to make plans within 24 hours?
Not immediately, but a day later? That's like he thought "Oh, I'll text her back later" & just forgot. Texting back immediately =/= desperate.
Plans within 24 hours is assuming she has nothing to do & she's coming off as readily available by jumping at the opportunity this soon. After a few dates, I think it's a different story.
Brittjoy, I'm totally with you. Pick up the phone & call me if you want to ask me out on a date.
I wouldn't worry about the short notice or it taking a bit of time for him to text back - DH doesn't always text me back right away - stuff happens, you get distracted, even I forget to text people back if I'm driving or something.
I hope you guys have a great time!
Nice!
I've never been one to follow (or even know, lol) what the "rules" are. I forget to respond to texts or emails all the time, and it doesn't have any deeper meaning. And if a friend called me and asked if I wanted to catch a movie later, I wouldn't think it meant they think I'm a loser with no life. I don't see why this is any different.
Have a great time, Laner!