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Pity party here... enter at your own risk.
So, this is embarrassing to admit, but I have no friends.
Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I have no close girl friends in the OKC area, and it's super depressing to me.
Throughout high school and college, I had several close friends. I was never part of a sorority or anything like that though, so I have never been the type to have a huge group of friends, just a smaller group of close friends. After college, I lived in China for a year, and when I got back, most people I knew had moved away from Oklahoma, or we'd just lost touch. That trend did nothing but continue for the first few years I was back in the states. Being in a serious relationship didn't help, as I didn't do much to cultivate friendships.
I think I'm a pretty alright person to be around. I'm not the most social, and I'm not outgoing, so it's proven a challenge to get out there and meet new people. Making it even more challenging, H and I don't go to church, H works from home for a company based in Tulsa, and I work for a very small agency composed of about 85% dudes.
I need help. How do people in their late 20s, early 30s meet people in OKC if they don't go to church and can't meet people at work? I'm to the point where I wish there was a site like match.com for meeting platonic, same-sex friends. I think about upcoming events in my life, like having a baby, and while H and our families are great, I don't want to go through those things with no girl friends to share them with. Advice? Thoughts?
PS-- Hope you've found a safe place to ride out Stormpocalypse 2011.
Re: Pity party here... enter at your own risk.
I'm so glad I took that leap and met the girls I did--some of them have become very good friends of mine. Not to say a nestie GTG will instantly solve all of your problems, but you could give it a shot
I think I remember you saying you are an agnostic, right? I *highly* recommend joining this group: http://meetup.oklahomaatheists.com/ (It's definitely not just for atheists. We probably actually have more agnostics than atheists in the group, and some who are more spiritual types as well.)
H and I were at a point where we didn't have many close friends at all, either, and realized that we really needed a sort of community in our lives. Since then, we have met so many wonderful people through the meetup group (and I have met some awesome ladies through this board as well). We have such an awesome group of friends now, I sometimes wonder how we were making it through without them.
My close girlfriends are all co-workers. And we are all very happy that we found each other. I think they were having the same problem that you and I were having: how does a young woman find friends?
I wish I had some sage advice as to how to make friends, but I don't. I do, however, remember something that my dad told me once: If you leave this world with just one close friend, then you were very lucky. I think people struggle with making friends at all ages.
Again, not helpful. Sorry. But I know the feeling, if that does help.
This reminds me---I keep forgetting to join!
First - we need to lunch!
Second - I get it. Even though I was in a sorority while in college, it seemed like right after we graduated, everyone paired off, got hitched, and moved away. I was pretty lonely between 22 and 26. I have had a few jobs since I graduated - I think I am on my fourth - and that has helped me to make quite a few friends. I am certainly not suggesting you quit your job but have you considered looking for another job in your field that has more people that are your age/sex?
Third - I love to play hostess (see whiney baby shower post below). It got to where I just started inviting people over to my house to have wine and eat dinner - that really helped me to figure out who was "my type" and who wasn't - this is essentially how Snowful and I became buds (we used to work together). So...do the men you work with have SO? If so, have a beer night or something like that....nothing like getting a little tipsy to form bonds with others.
I met a large chunk of my friends when I got more involved with volunteering. There are various civic/service orgs you can join to get more involved, or contact places you want to volunteer with directly. I currently organize service projects and volunteering for a service org. If you want more info, let me know.
Jamie - I seem to have missed the boat on Nestie GTGs, but I'll keep an eye out in the future. H and I are close with our families, but they are too far away to hang out with with much regularity. I do like some of my co-workers' wives/girlfriends, but they're either older with kids and lives, or skanks.
There's one girl I wouldn't mind getting to know a little more, but it's so awkward. I can never think of a way to ask my male co-worker if he and his fiance would like to hang out with H and I without it being super awkward. This is probably a big reason why I don't have any friends. I have tried meetup.com and have seen some promising groups, so I'll keep looking into that.
Snowful - I played basketball for about 10 years through jr high/hs/college and would LOVE to get back on a team, but I've checked into it at various gyms and it's always the same thing. You have to sign up as an entire team, not just a single player. I have been going to my gym more lately, but yoga and the treadmill haven't been great for conversation. I should probably try harder.
Critti - Thanks for the rec! I am hopeful about this group.
Fuzzy - Thanks for the note. If nothing else, it's good to know I'm not the only one who's struggled with this. I like the quote from your dad.
Stripes - Yes, a lunch is in order, fellow stepmom. About the job thing, advertising gigs are hard to come by in OKC - especially good advertising gigs. I really couldn't ask for much more than I've got at my current job, so leaving isn't really an option. H and I live in a cute but small house (don't even have a dining room. at all.), so I haven't seriously considered hosting many people here. We have talked about trying to have people over this summer though, because we have a decent patio/backyard area that would be nice for beer drinking/margaritas. We'll see how it goes. PS - I enjoy that your solutions frequently involve booze.
I would definitely be interested in more info. I joined ProjectOKC several months ago, but never actually volunteered before it disbanded. (I know, shame.) I would like to get into something like that, though.
Hey - booze is fun! I don't trust people that don't drink (just kidding).
But seriously, even if you don't have a lot of room, that sometimes makes things more cozy and easier to entertain.
We have a super small living/dining area in our rental. It's really hard for me to get past this and still have people over, but you just gotta do it.
And beer and margaritas make everything better!
I didn't know Project OKC disbanded. I think I still have your e-mail in my PMs, I'll shoot you one soon.