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Relationship with your mom?
Hey ladies - I don't know what I'm looking for with this post, but let me share what I'm feeling and how my mom seems to feel and let's see what unfolds.
My mom and I are very similar but very different people. There are many things in life where we disagree, and find it very hard to relate to each other. She tries very hard to foster a relationship with me, but she doesn't pick up on social cues very freely. Example: I made a faux pax at NYSSMA Majors the other day and thought I recognized one of our adjudicators and mentioned something to him. I call Mom that night to confirm it and I was dead wrong - and I'm completely embarrassed, say bye, and get off of the phone. I called her yesterday to wish her a happy birthday and all she wants to do is complain that I don't call her enough, and she used the other day where I got off of the phone quickly as an example. I told her to drop it, I was embarrassed and I didn't want to talk about it anymore - and she STILL went on about it! I told her again to drop and it and she did and we moved onto other subjects.
She did similar stuff with the house we're buying. There are five parents involved, and as my dad is our lawyer and DHs parents are retired and as such, have been meeting the inspectors for us, Mom tends to be the last one to know. I make a point to call her and fill her in, but it doesn't change that she's the last one. She points out stuff that the other parents have already said and I told her that we've heard it already and don't want to hear it again, but once again, she just keeps going.
I find it hard to maintain a relationship with someone who doesn't pick up on emotional cues, as I'm a very emotional person, and she knows that. I don't call her enough, and I know that, and I do try, but there are weeks where work just takes over and I'm in a nasty mood when I get home and I have no desire to call her when I'm in a bad mood and don't have the patience to talk to her. Hell, those nights, I even avoid DH and I just want to be left alone!
How do you ladies do it? Are there days where your mom just drives you nutty? I also think it's awkward because there are definitely times where my MIL and I see more eye to eye than my mom and I do, and I think Mom sometimes picks up on it. I don't know what I'm looking for here, but I know that I'm frustrated with my relationship with my mom and I don't know how to improve it.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
Re: Relationship with your mom?
I get frustrated with my mom as well and often. My mom sort of wants to keep me as her little girl. So much so she tries to get between DH and I. She wants me to move back home and she wants to raise my son. She doesn't know boundaries. When you try to tell her she is being wrong she ignores you... for months. Then she will give you guilt trips. She will send me text messages if I have been extremely busy with work and our son or just life, and ask me why i'm mad at her.
It's so hard because you love them, you want to be respectful and you don't want to hurt them. But at the same time they should be able to see it from your view as they were once in our shoes. (That's how I see it).
I'm sorry your mom is giving you such a hard time. (hugs)