Sex & Romance
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finally had sex... after 6 months! yes!!!!

let me start from the beginning...

when I was a little girl, something happened to me (not really sexual related but it totally scarred me) and I refused to wear jeans or shorts. I only wanted to wear dresses because I didn't want anything down there. As I got older, i got my period but would have panic attacks when I tried to put a tampon in. I finally used my first tampon when I was 23ish because I went to the beach and refused to let it ruin my trip.

I started dating my husband a little after that and was totally terrified to let him down there with his hands. I was good for oral but anytime any hands are down there, I freaked out. He had been sexually active before we started dating and was totally sweet about it all. The longer we dated, the more comfortable I became and actually enjoyed his hands down there.

Fast forward to wedding night... we tried to have sex and it totally did NOT work. I just couldn't relax! I cried the whole time (totally sexy, right?!? haha) and we eventually gave up. On the honeymoon, I tried to get so drunk in our room that I wouldn't care when we tried... still didn't work. So after a while, I decided something had to be done. I started seeing a physical therapist who works in women's health. She made me use dilators and numbing cream to stretch myself and get my body accustomed to neutral and enjoyable experiences down there. So, a week and 1/2 ago, my husband and I had sex for the first time after being married for 6 month! It was interesting... but we've done it a few times since then and it's getting so much better. :) I finally feel like I've been intimate with him in a way I hadn't with anyone else.

I really didn't have a reason to post all this... I'm just excited at how it's progressing and I feel like a real married couple now! :) Thanks for reading all this... I got a little long winded. :)

Anniversary

Re: finally had sex... after 6 months! yes!!!!

  • Congratulations to you!
  • good for you! I had a similar problem with vaginismus except it came on during our marriage post child.  I'm glad you sought out help and are progressing! it gets better and better every time. Good for you and I'm glad you found a patient sweet man to go through this with-it makes all the difference!
    -Clare
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  • imageaprilprincess:
    good for you! I had a similar problem with vaginismus except it came on during our marriage post child.  I'm glad you sought out help and are progressing! it gets better and better every time. Good for you and I'm glad you found a patient sweet man to go through this with-it makes all the difference!

     

    you said it best... he is so sweet and patient. I wouldn't trade him for anything after seeing how he reacted to all this. I'm definitely blessed! And it is getting better and better every time. I'm so happy! 

    Anniversary
  • That is a great husband to be so patient. I am not saying anything bad for you but for men its such a big deal esp after waiting to get married! I am so proud of you both and glad things are going great! Hope it gets better every day!
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  • Congratulations! Good work! =) 

    I had a problem kind of similar to this but it happened AFTER we got married. My little brother passed away 2 weeks after our wedding (he was only 16 and had a heart condition that runs in the family. His death was VERY unexpected, he was healthy, he was active. He was young.) It was devastating for everyone. Well the combination of that and the birth control pill my libido was completely gone. Worse, even when I was in the mood, my body wouldn't naturally prepare itself for sex (my body would tense, no matter how turned on I was, and was more dry down there than I ever have been in my life.) I would be so turned on and ready for sex but my body would just not relax. Every time we had sex I would tear and it'd just perpetuate the cycle of my body tensing up before sex.

    6 months after we were married I finally ditched the birth control pill, my hormones balanced out, and the problem has COMPLETELY gone away. I'm able to enjoy sex again!! I'm able to finally show my husband how much I love and care about him. It just makes it that much better =)

  • Congratulations! :D 

  • I'm so sorry about your little brother! Even though our circumstances are different, you can totally relate about how awesome it is to finally get to do it and be able to show you husband you love him in a way he totally understands! :)

    Anniversary
  • I am glad you posted about your success.  So often women who are having problems get discouraged and your story shows that seeking medical help and being persistent about tackling the problem can yield positive results.

    Yeah you!! 

  • aw congrats girl!
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  • Congrats! I also have this condition and know how excited you are! Arent pelvic floor physical therapists great? Progress can be slow but it is worth it in the end =)  I actually had to get medicine involved in addition to the physical therapy and get a prescription for valium. For down there. It is a little awkward lol.
  • It's great that you have such an awesome, patient, understanding and caring husband!
  • Congrats! I'm so glad things are working out for you. Your story gave me hope!

    I'm currently undergoing treatment for something similar and I was prescribed numbing cream to help me ease into it. Hopefully things will get better on my side, too!

  • imageFJL10:

    Congrats! I'm so glad things are working out for you. Your story gave me hope!

    I'm currently undergoing treatment for something similar and I was prescribed numbing cream to help me ease into it. Hopefully things will get better on my side, too!

     

     

    I had to use the numbing cream too... still using it actually and it's been a life saver!!!! I love it but I hate my husband has to wear a condom so he won't get a numb penis! haha 

    Anniversary
  • imageFJL10:

    Congrats! I'm so glad things are working out for you. Your story gave me hope!

    I'm currently undergoing treatment for something similar and I was prescribed numbing cream to help me ease into it. Hopefully things will get better on my side, too!

     

     

    I had to use the numbing cream too... still using it actually and it's been a life saver!!!! I love it but I hate my husband has to wear a condom so he won't get a numb penis! haha 

    Anniversary
  • and thanks everyone for the congrats! :) 
    Anniversary
  • What a sweet and loving H you have! I am sorry you had to go through all of that, but I am glad you are able to enjoy everything now. This was very interesting to read because I have never heard anything like it. So happy for you!
  • Congratulations!! This sounds soo similar to what I've been through and i'm really happy that the dilators were able to help you! i'm sure you have lots of great sex in you future :)
    And if the stormy weather came...I'd just kiss you in the rain... Daisypath Anniversary tickers image
  • Congrats! I struggled with something very similar and my husband was amazingly supportive. :) Way to go on talking to your Dr.! Some women live with that condition for years and never say anything because they are too embarrassed. And be encouraged, DH and I have no problems now ;) 
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