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My IL's are crazy

I've vented about my IL's on here before, but I have more to vent, lol!  We went to niece's 2nd bday party this weekend at my MIL's.  I have a 28 year old SIL (not niece's mom) and she is just a bad person (we'll call her Mary).  She recently got fired from her job (she has a different excuse for this every time she talks about it).  DH also has a 10 year old little brother and 8 year old little sister.  His little brother just failed a class and his 28 year old sister was making fun of him for that.  It was so awkward...  8 year old SIL was playing with some friends in the courtyard of the apartments, and one of her friends (same age) has one of her arms amputated.  I have no idea what the backstory is, nor is it any of my business.  Anyways, long story short, Mary heard the girl with the amputated arm teasing 8 year old SIL and then went back to all of us and started making fun of the girl.  She was walking around with one arm in her shirt saying, "if I looked like this I would never make fun of anyone."  SHe kept saying it.  I was horrified and furious. 

There's so much more with my IL's, that's just the one thing that sticks close to my mind.

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Re: My IL's are crazy

  • Either Mary is very very immature or Mary's got more than a screw loose. Wow -- what kind of a person would make fun of anybody with a disadvantage or a problem?

    Do yourself a favor:

    You ansd your H should give serious thought to avoiding Mary at all costs.

    Steer clear of her. I would kindly tell MIL that until Mary grows up and cleans up her act, you will not be at any family activities where Mary is present.

  • imageapril77056:

    She was walking around with one arm in her shirt saying, "if I looked like this I would never make fun of anyone." 

    Holy. Wow. Who makes fun of a child, much less one with an obvious physical difference? She's 28? Sheesh. I'd do my best to limit contact with her, too: she sounds like a peach.

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  • Did anyone say anything to Mary?  If not, why not?  That's absolutely a situation where someone needed to speak up.
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • I would have to say something. Probably along the lines of: at least the girl without the arm could still be a drummer (Rick Allen- Def Leppard, anyone?) but you "Mary" will always be a douchetastitc turd.
  • I am not too sure I could have restrained myself from making any comments... either there or later.
  • imageEastCoastBride:
    Did anyone say anything to Mary?  If not, why not?  That's absolutely a situation where someone needed to speak up.
    I agree. If everyone just sat there and didn't say anything, they aren't much better than Mary.
  • imageEmiliana7:
    I would have to say something. Probably along the lines of: at least the girl without the arm could still be a drummer (Rick Allen- Def Leppard, anyone?) but you "Mary" will always be a douchetastitc turd.

    There has also been a pitcher that has pitched with one arm - Jim Abbott was his name -- and there is also a one armed surfer.

     

     

  • I feel like a really bad person for not saying anything.  I was shocked and just sat there and stared at my dh with huge eyes.  He looked disgusted.  One of us should have said something, I don't know why we didn't.  I guess I didn't want to stir up drama, but this really was a case where I should have said something. 
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  • imageapril77056:
    I feel like a really bad person for not saying anything.  I was shocked and just sat there and stared at my dh with huge eyes.  He looked disgusted.  One of us should have said something, I don't know why we didn't.  I guess I didn't want to stir up drama, but this really was a case where I should have said something. 

    She is no example for kiddoes --- I'd hate to see your daughter get the idea that it's okay to make fun of somebody at a disadvantage.

    Find a way to tell her Aunt Mary is not nice and what Aunt Mary is saying is not acceptable in polite company.

    And indeed speak to Mary, also --- some times these things indeed catch you off guard; who expects a supposedly sensible adult to make fun of a child, you know?

  • imageapril77056:
    I feel like a really bad person for not saying anything.  I was shocked and just sat there and stared at my dh with huge eyes.  He looked disgusted.  One of us should have said something, I don't know why we didn't.  I guess I didn't want to stir up drama, but this really was a case where I should have said something. 
    Well, I've been in situations where in the moment, you really don't know what to do.  And as this is your DH's sister, not yours, I can understand your desire to not start drama.

    So I'm not going to get on you for not saying something this time.  But I'd do 1 of 2 things. 

    1 - you do need to ride your DH about this.  His family sitting back and ignoring this behavior is part of the reason why your SIL does this crap.  HE needs to start stepping up and calling out his sister. And I'd tell him "if you don't, I will, and I expect you to back ME up if your family actually gets upset w/ ME.".   

    2 - and then I'd be prepared.  Not to every weird thing she does, but when she makes fun of an 8 year old?!  Unacceptable.  I'd be prepared to say something to her! 

    Everyone just sitting back and not saying anything- in essence, you are all condoning her behavior.  And the kids around you are learning that making fun of an 8 year old by an adult is o.k.......

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • imageTarponMonoxide:

    imageapril77056:
    I feel like a really bad person for not saying anything.  I was shocked and just sat there and stared at my dh with huge eyes.  He looked disgusted.  One of us should have said something, I don't know why we didn't.  I guess I didn't want to stir up drama, but this really was a case where I should have said something. 

    She is no example for kiddoes --- I'd hate to see your daughter get the idea that it's okay to make fun of somebody at a disadvantage.

    Find a way to tell her Aunt Mary is not nice and what Aunt Mary is saying is not acceptable in polite company.

    And indeed speak to Mary, also --- some times these things indeed catch you off guard; who expects a supposedly sensible adult to make fun of a child, you know?

    Sorry for the confusion.  It's not my daughter, it's my niece (my other SIL's daughter).  DH has 3 sisters and a brother.  If that had been said in front of my child I would have raised holy living hell.  She did not say it in front of any kids, just in front of the adults.  Still disgusting.  

    She is loud, obnoxious, and always always always says what is on her mind.  At Mother's Day, niece acted up and Mary (NOT niece's Mom) hit her on the arm.  Like slapped her on the arm.  I was like, "WTF?!"  Who the hell does that to another person's child?  But other SIL (Niece's Mom) was standing right there and said nothing (but she looked pissed).  I would have raised holy living hell.  Dh and I have already decided that our future children will not be allowed around her.  She curses like a sailor in front of kids all.the.time.  But, my 2 year old niece is now saying b*tch, c*nt, f*ck, d*mn, *ss.  It's ridiculous.  MIL, Mary, Other SIL, 10 year old SIL, 8 year old BIL, and 2 year old niece all live in the same 2 bedroom apartment.  It's not a healthy environment and I feel so sorry for my niece. 

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  • WOW! This woman might crazy or idk what to think. It's a bad thing that nobody said anything to stop her from doing that but I do understand how you felt, I'd be shocked too and horrified by it. But don't let this happen again, either her parents or your H has to do something. Wow, I'm just shocked still. I guess if she was near me, I'd stand up and tell her to grow up and stop this s***, because she's making fun of a 8 years old kid and this is WRONG.

     If she wants to act like a kid, (a mean kid), she'll be treated like one and thats it. Where's her mom when those things happens?? She's 28!!! Not 8!!! Maybe the poor girl is more mature than her!... But I trully understand your reaction.  

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  • imageMattNCarol:

    WOW! This woman might crazy or idk what to think. It's a bad thing that nobody said anything to stop her from doing that but I do understand how you felt, I'd be shocked too and horrified by it. But don't let this happen again, either her parents or your H has to do something. Wow, I'm just shocked still. I guess if she was near me, I'd stand up and tell her to grow up and stop this s***, because she's making fun of a 8 years old kid and this is WRONG.

     If she wants to act like a kid, (a mean kid), she'll be treated like one and thats it. Where's her mom when those things happens?? She's 28!!! Not 8!!! Maybe the poor girl is more mature than her!... But I trully understand your reaction.  

    DH's parents are divorced so this is just his Mom's apartment.  His Mom was sitting right there listening and didn't say anything.  It's always something new with his sister, so there's a part of me that just doesn't like to be around her at all.  

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  • imageapril77056:
    imageMattNCarol:

    WOW! This woman might crazy or idk what to think. It's a bad thing that nobody said anything to stop her from doing that but I do understand how you felt, I'd be shocked too and horrified by it. But don't let this happen again, either her parents or your H has to do something. Wow, I'm just shocked still. I guess if she was near me, I'd stand up and tell her to grow up and stop this s***, because she's making fun of a 8 years old kid and this is WRONG.

     If she wants to act like a kid, (a mean kid), she'll be treated like one and thats it. Where's her mom when those things happens?? She's 28!!! Not 8!!! Maybe the poor girl is more mature than her!... But I trully understand your reaction.  

    DH's parents are divorced so this is just his Mom's apartment.  His Mom was sitting right there listening and didn't say anything.  It's always something new with his sister, so there's a part of me that just doesn't like to be around her at all.  

     

    Right.. I see. No wonder, I wouldn't like it either. And wrong of her mother, or rest of the family to not stop her. Not yours really. Sorry that you have to deal with her.

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  • Wow what a peach.  It's sad when people act that way. 
    image
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