Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Wedding Related Vents and WWYD (XP)
Vent 1: FI was in a wedding his weekend for one of his fraternity brothers. Another brother was there who we only see in social situations involving the groom. We have no contact with him otherwise besides Facebook (and even then, we never message him, post on his wall, etc).
After the wedding, we all headed to a local brewpub. Guest Brother asked FI when the wedding was, and then where it was. Guest brother then says "well, that's great, I'm running the marathon in Phily the next day so I can go right from your wedding to the marathon".
Problem is, Guest Brother is not invited. He wasn't even a "oh, we'd invite him but we don't have the room" invite. He was nowhere on the list. FI and I didn't think anything of him asking when/where the wedding was, because lots of people have asked, and not all of them are invited. FI and I have no idea how to handle this. We probably won't see him until after the wedding, so hopefully when he doesn't get an invite he'll get the hint. But why would he think he's invited when we see him 2x per year and only through other people?
Vent 2: K & R dated in college. I am friends with K, FI is friends with R. R pulled an epic douchey move in college and began dating A while K still thought they were together. A&R are now married, K is dating someone. This went down about 7 years ago.
All are invited to our wedding. a mutual friend of mine and K's told me that K will not come in A&R are coming because it would be awkward. I told said friend that it was 7 years ago, so K really needs to move past it. And while it's an invitation and not a supoena, I'd hope that our friendship meant more to K than feeling awkward for 5 minutes around an ex.
Should I say something to K? Tell her if A&R are coming? If K says something about not coming because A&R are coming, what would you say to her?
Sorry for the length.
Re: Wedding Related Vents and WWYD (XP)
#1 -- what did FI say when this conversation occurred? I'd probably ignore it and hope it goes away, if this isn't someone FI is worried about offending. If he is worried, I'd have him reach out to the guy and say something about having to keep the size down b/c of the venue, costs, whatever.
#2 -- send the invite, don't say something. If she wants to bring it up, that's up to her. And if she says she's not coming, I'd tell her that really sucks and it's important to you for her to be at her wedding, but she can do what she wants. Not much else you can do.
#1 he'll get the hint nbd since you don't see him anyway
#2 don't even bother letting other one know it was 7 years ago
ps do you need table numbers? the ones i have that jewels used too are sitting in my basement i need to post them free for pickup over on the knot, ill send you a pic if you want but they are frames painted black with numbers inside i think there are 24
lachute- I'll get back to you about the numbers. I'm toying with either doing buildings from our alma mater, or getting numbers and taking pictures of the kitties with them. Or just using numbers. I'm trying to decide how cooperative the cats will be.
will do again their frames so you could put kitties in them. that being said we had a cupcake topper made with our kitties and us. i love them,
Please to be sharing who made your cupcake topper.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/goosegrease
these were ours they also make larger cake toppers
re fraternity brother:don't invite him. don't worry. life goes on. really. in 1 yr or 10 after the wedding I guarantee you will have forgotten all about his comment and your concern.
re friends and their dating past - If she is nutty enough to not come because he is with A, I am pretty sure she is going to ask you if he is coming. When she says she isn't, I would have no problem saying "Really, K, seeeevvvveeeennnn years. You really ought to be able to put this in the past on any given day but for FFS , it is my wedding. Get The F over it."
1. I had this problem because I had a SUPER small wedding (36 guests). I just told people flat out if they brought it up that we're having a small wedding with just family. I had an easy excuse. In this case since that moment passed I really wouldn't worry about it since he's just an acquaintance.
2. Even though it may sound childish, I have certain ex's that I'm over but would rather stab my eyes out than see. If their break up was really crappy I can see her not wanting to see him. She isn't mad that you're still friends with him is she? If she knows you're friends then she should expect he'll be there. If she doesn't show I wouldn't take it personally, clearly she's got a lot of crap to work out.
Rum- I'm fairly sure those were the exact words that came out of my mouth when I was told.
I get it, there are certain people I'd rather eat paint chips than see again. Most of them went to my oldest friend's wedding in Oct. Did I not go? Nope, because being there for my friend meant more. I ignored them until I literally ran into them, then said hello and walked away.
I find this hilarious. Who the hell thinks they would even want to run a marathon the day after a wedding?
He doesn't drink. Or dance.
Well, those are two details confirming why he is not a suitable wedding guest.
Well, those are two details confirming why he is not a suitable wedding guest.
Well some people are more mature than others. You are obviously mature and know the day is about the bride and groom and could get past it for one day.
I had a similar situation although it was friends who had a falling out, not a relationship. "Close" friend of mine found out former friend was coming (she knew we were still friends and should therefore think it a possibility former friend would be there). Decided not to show up after rsvping yes. Then proceeded to never talk to me or associate with me or DH after the wedding. No explanation, nothing. And we usually were together at least once a week. Obviously my friend had issues, and hopefully your friend would be more mature than that. We are not 10. Day is not about you as a guest.
I was just going to say, maybe he was drunk when he asked about your wedding and would just forget about it (since it was post-wedding at a brewpub).
my husband's friend's wife wanted to do the same thing. She was so excited about doing the race the "next day" what she didn't know was the race was actually the same day since we got married on a Sunday. Joke's on her
I thought it was very strange, but I guess she doesn't drink either
Did she end up running the race the morning of your wedding? I would totally do that. And then I'd celebrate my tush off afterwards at the wedding!