Maine Nesties
maeghan21
member
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Morbid Topic
So, DH and I have been trying to square away some of the dismal details of what happens to us. We're looking at where we'll be buried, how etc. We've realized that plots are way expensive and we need the insurance money now 
The places here in town are filling up and the only place I'd choose is about full already. It's expensive and not something we want to spend now. Has anyone else looked into this?
The places here in town are filling up and the only place I'd choose is about full already. It's expensive and not something we want to spend now. Has anyone else looked into this? 
Re: Morbid Topic
I have. It cost us $4000 to cremate my SIL when she passed and she had no life insurance. Her ex-husband wanted to bury her in a plot next to his (supposedly already paid for-- I have no idea with what money) but he didn't get much say in it.
The $4000 was with a TON of discounts because the funeral home realized we were screwed without any life insurance and so they gave us a break (also, she was only 30 and left behind a 12 year old daughter-- that kind of makes people more sympathetic, I guess).
Soooo.... after talking it over with MH, we decided to get a basic life insurance policy for each of us (costs us each $50 a month) and that will give us enough money to pay off the house, pay for services (we both get a free cremation/burial compliments of the VA), and have some left over to cover some out-of-work time.
I have decided that if we can afford it at the time of my death and if it's available here in Maine, I'd like to be composted (not in a pile in the backyard, but professionaly-- it's done quickly) and have a tree planted with me. Somewhere to be determined. If it's not possible, I'll be cremated. Same with MH.
And I can't die anytime soon because I haven't found a place that does the composting within a 100 mile radius.
$4K for cremation? My goodness.
I haven't looked into any of this yet, probably because I'm not married and still feel 18 and invincible most of the time (except with way more bills to pay). I probably should, though, because if something were to happen I wouldn't want to leave any extra awfulness in my family's lap.
The thought of people coming to a funeral home and looking at my embalmed body makes me feel queasy. I'm an organ donor so once that is taken care of I would like to be cremated, and for my ashes to be scattered in Lake Webb.
Yeah, my FIL's plot was about what Daniele said. It was highly discounted because well, I've expressed MIL $$ issues before. So as a Christmas gift IL's family friend bought MIL the plot next to his, it was quite expensive. But they were threatening to sell it on her cause she wasn't paying it. Very nice gift.
Shoot, DH and I are just trying to get our stuff in order to do a will right now, I can't even think about a burial plot
But, its definitely something to think about. I'm sure like everything else they aren't going to get cheaper.
My family has a mausoleum in NY, but DH can't be buried there. Since we are living here we'd like some place here for kids, etc. since it's mostly about the family you leave behind. The cemeteries in Kennebunk are basically full. DH wants to be buried in town and it makes sense since we will always live here. St. Ann's, where we were married and DD was baptized, is building a Columbarium and it's $2,500 a person. That is only for ashes though. I'll be cremated if I can be there, even though it goes against my religion. Those slots are filling up fast but right now I can't see us spending $5,000 this Summer for those. That's are sprinkler system. Bah. This stuff is no fun and it's expensive!
The actual process of getting things done, I'm not too worried about since we both have plenty of life insurance.
We will both donate as much as possible and then have the remains cremated. Life insurance will cover the costs of that. What religion, Maeghan, are you that doesn't allow cremation? I'm just curious and interested, but you don't have to answer if it's personal!
The Catholic Church banned cremation a little over a hundred years ago, but then lifted the ban back in 1963. Some other Christian sects also frown on cremation. (But feel free to answer if you want, Maeghan-- especially if you're not one of the aforementioned!)
I was doing some research to see if Maine or any nearby state performs the composting I was talking about and I found this! FREAKY! Especially the last option way at the bottom of the page. I had to look a few times to see if it was a joke, but it's not!
My dad was Catholic and was cremated and had a funeral service in a Catholic church with his cremated remains present. I just looked it up and the ban was lifted in the '60's although I don't think the remains are supposed to come into the church...I'm not sure how my dad's cremated remains got around that though.
Yeah, I corrected it above-- forgot to include the ban being lifted.
I don't know how long ago it was that your dad was cremated, but maybe it was after 1963? I know that when a friend of mine committed suicide, he somehow was able to receive a Catholic burial-- which was odd, since that was prohibited by Rome, too.
Okay that last one is freaky. As much I will miss my loved ones, I am all set with having a replica of their head on my mantle. Weird!
I'll admit that one of my favorite books of all time is "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers" and, while it is hilarious, it is also a really cool insight in to the various options. DH and I haven't talked about it in a while, but we are both going to be cremated after donation. Last time I checked, I think we're just going to be scattered on the mountain that we got engaged on since we both don't have really strong roots anywhere in particular and we don't have any kids yet. If we never have kids, there won't be anyone to "visit" us anyways, so a mountain with special meaning sounds like fun.
Oh, crap. I was already feeling horribly guilty that we don't yet have wills or directives, I hadn't even thought about this part of it. Nuts.
have you girls heard about this option?
http://www.lifegem.com/
Each person's ashes creates a unique gem color.
We have life insurance that I assume will help out with this some? I know once we have kids, we'll reassess what we have...
I always assumed we'd be buried, but after two of DH's family members passed away in the past two years, dealing with that process has made us think we would like to lean towards cremation...we have a creepily fabulous plan that whoever lives longest hangs onto the other person's ashes and then once we're both gone, we leave money and an itinerary for an awesome road trip for friends/family of ours to take and scatter our ashes at our favorite places around the country...morbid AND selfish!
This really is a fabulous plan. I might steal it.
Growing up in a Catholic family that celebrated life through death, I was very "comfortable" with death and all the funeral/cemetary details and what not. (Looking back, I'm not sure if that was really normal or healthy but I think I turned out ok? Ha.)
I was however, thrown for a loop when FIL passed away. It was somewhat sudden, I was 20 and just dating DH, and suddenly we were talking about buying our burial plots next to his family and all that scary for a 20-year-old stuff: if we get married... if we have kids... if we don't... how much it costs to buy a beautiful piece of land to be burried in. I'm glad we made the choices we did and that we turned out okay, but I don't think we would have our stuff in order yet if that hadn't all happened. Which reminds me... we should probably think about writing a will.
haha...please feel free!