Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
help!! advise
so me and my husband have been together for 6 years and married for 2 when we were going out i mean boy friend and girl friend he used to want to have sex with me everyday at any time and any were! i recently had a baby 6 months ago and now he doesnt even want to have oral sex? last night we were doing it and he was just laying on the bed not even doing anything?i felt so bad that i just got off him and went to bed. i dont know if its because my vagina doesnt feel the same because i had a baby? but i have asked him and he says i do feel the same?? i even ask him if we can have sex? any advise?? i need some help!! or what should i do??
Re: help!! advise
Was he in the delivery room when you gave birth?
ANything can be happening here; he may be ill at ease because he's a new father, he may be tentative about sex because he may not want to wake the kiddo or he might have something called the Madonna-Wh0re Complex -- google it; you'll find out what it is.
What you need to do first and foremostly:
Talk to him.
And frankly and candidly -- tell him you'd like to have more intercourse -- make your viewpoint and needs heard and wanted.
You 2 may want to see a sex counselor if the talk doesn't culminate in more sex for the both of you -- the MWC is fixable with a sex counselor's help. GL.
ETA: very very unlikely your vagina is "too loose." You've had one child, not a great many.
Like I said, talk to him -- imperative that you do so; he owes this to you to work on this with you.
Cheez louise, citychic --- "give it to him like never before"? The OP just said that there is a lack of interest on her H's part. You're preaching to the choir. Some type of disconnect is involved here; she can jump his bones all she wishes but the problem is still there.
And the OP hasn't ascertained if she's even approached him about this topic -- it's imperative she does.
To the OP: sure as boyfriend and girlfriend sex was great --- you were both unencumbered and the relationship was new, not to mention you were both horny.
If this isn't MWS, he could have simply decided no more sex -- it happens -- or perhaps he's having an affair. Again, we don't know what's at hand here; anything could be happening.
If he won't ante up after what I've suggested, perhaps considering moving on. Why should you stay with a guy if the only reason between you is that there is a child involved? You didn't get married to have a glorified roommate.
The problem is not physical here!
Sometimes women forget that although they don't actually give birth, men are also going through a change. You are not his girlfriend anymore! you are the mother of his child!
Try not paying him so much attention! this is called reversed psychology. Try making your self beautiful but not showing him that you have done it for him. Always be dressed nicely, your hair arranged, your nails and everything. Pretend you have forgotten all about sex...and him. It may work.