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WWYD (a hypothetical relationship question)

If you were dating a guy who was generally fun to be around, he was successful, smart, funny, has solid friendships...but he has moments of paranoia and any time things go slightly differently than planned he assumes you lied/are lying/are planning on lying, and he can be smothering.

So it all gets to be too much and you break up. It's not a pretty break-up and you both say things that aren't very nice.

Then about a month after the final nail in the break up coffin you get an email from him reminding you that you borrowed money on a few occasions over the course of your several-month long vacation and the total is in the ballpark of $100 and could you please settle that debt...

ok, this is a real scenario. the man in question is an old friend of mine and I told him that what he had done is just about the douchiest thing I've ever heard and I would have driven to his house, kicked him in the balls and when he was doubled over I would have dropped the check on the floor in front of him and walked off. The girl in question just put a check in a security envelope and mailed it with no note. He felt slighted. I reminded him that he got off easy as his balls are uninjured.

what would you have done if YOU were the ex-girlfriend who'd been sent a bill for her relationship?

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Re: WWYD (a hypothetical relationship question)

  • She was much more mature about it than I would have been.  This way he can't hold anything over her and she sent him a final f-u without actually saying anything.  I'm kind of impressed.

    If it were me, I would have laughed in his face and given him the finger.  Sorry.

    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • I would have done what you said. I can't believe that he feels slighted!
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  • What a tool.

    No matter how great he may be, as you described, I can understand why he'd get ditched.

  • Just so I understand... In the course of their relationship he spent money on her during vacations, like normal "spending money on your girlfriend" type spending, and now he's asking for it back?

    If this is the case, then I might be tempted to send the money back to him, with a note urging him to use it for therapy. Clearly, he needs to get his head screwed on straight.

  • He felt slighted because she didn't include a note? Waaaa?
    My favorite place on earth: The Amargosa Valley.
    image
  • This happened to me with a friend. We are talking about owing like $1.00 over the course of a year that I forgot I owed her and she held over my head for years! She was also paranoid/OCD like this guy sounds to be. I would bet this girl just didn't want to deal with any more of his harassing her and that's why she gave him the money.
  • EmmieBEmmieB member
    imagesm23:

    Just so I understand... In the course of their relationship he spent money on her during vacations, like normal "spending money on your girlfriend" type spending, and now he's asking for it back?

    If this is the case, then I might be tempted to send the money back to him, with a note urging him to use it for therapy. Clearly, he needs to get his head screwed on straight.

    yes. and he's in therapy.

    clearly it's two steps forward, one giant leap back.

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  • Honestly? I probably would have ignored the email and changed my email address. 
  • 1.) I would think he was a douche

    2.) I would send him the check so that he has nothing to contact me about. $100 is worth having someone like that completely out of my life.

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  • I would have ignored it too. 
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  • I would have laughed my ass off and send him an invoice in response for all that I did for him.

    Good luck collecting buddy, I'd never pay a dime. That is some tacky, petty, ridiculous, absurd, socio-pathic BS.

    And I'd change my phone number/email and return any mail sent.

    Life is a roller coaster, enjoy it!

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    Lighthouse State Beach, Santa Cruz.

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