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Moms of 2 or more...
Thinking back to the transition of having a new baby, which would you say was a more difficult one- going from no children to one or from one to two (or more!)? Just curious! For us I think that the transition from one to two was harder just because of how busy we both are now. With one we could sort of take turns in terms of waking in the night, getting up early with the baby while the other slept in, sharing each of the tasks associated with the house cleaning and taking care of Ella. Now we do man to man defense- each take one for meals, bathtime, bedtime, etc. It works out great but doesn't leave much time for rest for either of us. I will say that it has been nice this time around because for one, Brody is a MUCH easier baby than Ella was and also both DH and I both feel much more confident in our abilities as parents so I think that helps a lot. Just wondering how others feel!
Re: Moms of 2 or more...
Well... my situation is different because I've always been a one woman team. DH has many talents, but raising (or helping with) our children has only recently become a talent of his.
It was harder for me to go from no kids to one because it tied us down so much. There were so many things I couldn't do that I had before and I really REALLY love sleep.
With number two, I was used to not sleeping and not going anywhere so it was much easier for me. Not that I want three... but adding a kid for me was volumes easier after already changing my lifestyle.
I should also say that my kids are 23mos apart and Katen has always been a rock star big sister. She's was pretty independent by the time Ana came along so that made it easier.
Zero to one. I was older when we had our first, and I was very comfortable with the freedom of how I spent my time and money. I prepared as much as I could for the new baby, but it was still a shock to my world. Plus, DH has a lot of commitments outside our home (son from his first marriage who lives near Chicago, periodic Saturdays at work, a side business he does after hours), so I was/am solo quite a bit.
Going from one to two had its challenging moments too, but there were a lot fewer surprises and crisis situations. And I was lucky to have our challenging one out of the way. If AJ had been first, as easy as he was/is, I probably would have wanted 10 kids!
Handling this stuff makes you feel like Superwoman, doesn't it?
I can definately say that going from one to two is soooo much more difficult for DH and I. At least with one you can take turns switching off and on and get some "me" time if you will. Having a 21 month old and a one month old it seems three times as hard with the second as with the first. Heck, I can't even find time to use the bathroom without one of them screaming (usually the newborn). DH is out of state for work and man is it difficult. Plus with the older one still not sleeping the night entirely, I get MAYBE three hours right now of sleep a night, yep in for a rude awakening when I go back to work.
Going from zero to one was more of a financial/freedom shock. Going from one to two was harder in terms of managing time, getting out of the house, etc.
I feel like I've been sleep deprived for 4 years. I reeeeaaallly miss my sleep!
I was always told by other parents that going from 1 to 2 was hard but 2 to 3 was easy. For obvious reasons I don't know if that is true or not. I think that they all are hard for different reasons. The first is hard because you are a new parent and I think I worried and stressed about a lot of things that I didn't need too.
When 2&3 showed up I was totally laid back and didn't stress at all about things that kept me up late at night with the first. Is she breathing, Is she too hot, too cold, is this a normal amount of spit up, etc. That made life easier but then it was harder because I had 3 kids to take care of instead of one. Add to that the fact that finding a babysitter for one was a piece of cake but finding a sitter for 3 kids aged 2 and two newborns was a bit more tricky.
I have a lot of help from my DH who is very hands on so that makes a difference too. No matter how you look at it raising children is difficult no matter how many you have and everybody's situation is different so what might be easier for one is harder for another.