September 2010 Weddings
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Q about cash bars

I have no experience whatsoever with them, but I am helping my mom with her invitations.  This isn't a question of whether to have one, she's doing one.  But do you put that on the invitations?  The website?  Nowhere?

I'm stumped.  I know that I would want to know ahead of time, so I'd have cash on me (which I never do, and a lot of people don't), but it seems wrong to put it on the invitations.  But maybe people won't see the website.  Or maybe not mention it at all and hope that people will be ok?  What do people normally do with cash bars?

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Re: Q about cash bars

  • Oh also, parking is limited - would you put that on the reception card?  Website only?

    I'm trying to convince her to get a shuttle but I'm not sure if that will happen.

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  • I am probably no help but most people in my area have cash bars (we had an open bar) I just always assume that it will be cash bar and get a nice suprise when it is an open bar.

     I also always assume I can use my card/run a tab. 

    I would just say word of mouth if there will be no ATM or you can't use you card.

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  • I would say put it on the reception card (about the cash bar and parking). 

    When I go to a wedding I now come prepared with cash.  I went to a wedding once and they had a cash bar.  It sucked that I had no cash on me and wasn't able to drink.  No booze at a wedding = no fun for me.

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  • Im with X and around here cash is done 98% of the time. I guess it kind of depends on where your mom is.
  • mushEmushE member
    Fourth Anniversary

    Eep, that's hard.  I think I read on the E board not to put it on the card, but I agree that many people won't read the website.  We had the details about our shuttle on the website and just 'shuttle provided' on the card, and people didn't know what was going on. 

    I'd say put it on the card (both things) to be safe.  I'd rather clutch my pearls a litle at seeing it on the card then get to a wedding and not have any cash (I rarely carry it) and not be able to drink.  (Setting aside my current condition, of course.)

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  • They're not doing a separate reception card.  I have no clue if cash bars are the norm in her area; she's only been to one wedding there and it was open bar, but that's hardly an indication.  Because she's older and relatively new to the area, she doesn't really have a 'feel' for that, you know? 

    Since I have never been to a cash bar wedding, or heard of someone I know IRL having one or even attending one, I wouldn't think to bring cash.  She's only having beer and wine for sale, so while I will bring some cash I'm not sure I will get anything.  I don't get her mentality of not offering liquor even though it's on someone else's dime, especially since she tells me her fiance comes from a family of drinkers, but it's not my wedding.  It will be painful for me to sit through a family event without any alcohol, though, so I'm sure I'll take a chance on some unappealing wine just to get through it.

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  • I would have her put both on the invite.  It doesn't sound like she's following many etiquette rules as it is, why not break one more?

    Eek, that sounds way worse than intended..sorry for the harshness

  • imagebrew311:

    I would have her put both on the invite.  It doesn't sound like she's following many etiquette rules as it is, why not break one more?

    Eek, that sounds way worse than intended..sorry for the harshness

    No need to apologize.  I have been biting my tongue over many, many things she's doing.  And I feel bad for her fiance, who said he wanted a 'nice wedding', when what she's planning really isn't.

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  • Ok so how would you say it?  On the invitation it says 'Reception to follow.'  Would you write, "Reception with cash bar to follow"?  or "Reception to follow.  Cash bar available." (as two separate lines)?
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  • I like two separate lines, that wording exactly.  Which I have actually seen before...
  • ok, that's what I will do!  I should also write: daughter of bride will have flask for those who enjoy hard alcohol Stick out tongue
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  • imageLauraT25:
    ok, that's what I will do!  I should also write: daughter of bride will have flask for those who enjoy hard alcohol Stick out tongue

    Right?! :)  Personally I like to know when it's a cash bar/dry wedding so I can bring a flask.  I'm w/ Deb.  No alcohol = no fun.

  • imagebrew311:

    imageLauraT25:
    ok, that's what I will do!  I should also write: daughter of bride will have flask for those who enjoy hard alcohol Stick out tongue

    Right?! :)  Personally I like to know when it's a cash bar/dry wedding so I can bring a flask.  I'm w/ Deb.  No alcohol = no fun.

    We just went to a wedding that was dry. We (well I went but didn't partakeCrying) pregamed at a bar before hand, our friend brought a flask, and we went to a bar after. They were glad they had Xtine as their DD as always now.

    I am in the camp of I would rather pay for me booze then not have any to drink.

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  • mushEmushE member
    Fourth Anniversary

    Definitely the two lines, I like it!

    The wedding we just went to, they served beer & wine, like at my wedding.  Some good friends of the groom had a flask out, which I thought was tacky.  But then I wondered if some of our friends would have done this if they'd realized we were only serving beer and wine.  Hmm.

    I'm fine with just wine, but I know some really prefer having hard alcohol.  But we could purchase it ourselves and have the caterer serve it if we only did beer/wine, and would have had to hire a bartending service if we'd done hard alcohol, which was $$$ when we priced it out. 

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  • Mush - FTR, I think a beer & wine only wedding is perfectly acceptable.  I just don't get not including liquor in this case, where all of it is cash - if the caterer is providing the alcohol, and the guests are paying, is there a difference?  I'm just weird - I don't like beer and I don't like most commonly offered wines, so I probably won't like anything at this wedding.  If I were at a hosted beer & wine wedding, I would probably try some wine to see if I like it, but won't want to pay for a glass.  I think the majority of people like either beer, wine, or both, and I don't expect people to pay for liquor just for people like me.  I also wouldn't bring a flask to a wedding, not that I own one.
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  • H's and my wedding was an open bar for wine, beer and champagne.  A cash bar was also available for people who wanted hard liquor.  I thought it was a very nice compromise and we didn't get any complaints!  We didn't even put a statement about a cash bar / open bar on any wedding literature we sent out (since we technically had a bit of each, the wording would have been too confusing).  People didn't seem to have a problem figuring it out on the spot ;).
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  • on the flask tangent...The proper way to use a flask is to keep it hidden as much as possible.  If you're flaunting your flask, you're not doing it right.


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  • mushEmushE member
    Fourth Anniversary
    Absolutely, that makes sense - if the caterer is providing and guests are paying either way, why not include liquor?  Any chance she'll change her mind? 
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  • imagediablesse:

    on the flask tangent...The proper way to use a flask is to keep it hidden as much as possible.  If you're flaunting your flask, you're not doing it right.


    Ditto.

     

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