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Not Sure What To Do...
I've written on here about my crazy IL's before. I think I told every body before that my MIL's apartment has bed bugs in it (gross...). I refuse to go over there. She claims it's only in the couch. Anyways, my 2 year old niece (and my SIL, her Mom) live there also. My niece has gone to the hospital twice in the last month because of the bedbugs. (She probably could have just gone to the dr., but she doesn't have a dr SIL just takes her to the hospital for anything). The first time my MIL tried to claim it was scabies all over her arms. Now, last night, "something" bit her eye lid and caused her eye to swell shut. She's all better now (after a trip to the hospital) but this is disgusting. Is there anything I can do about it? MIL won't listen and refuses to think it's bad and I am just beside myself thinking about it.
By the way, I will DD this later since it contains personal info and I never know who's on here
Re: Not Sure What To Do...
CPS needs to be in on this mess. That's unsafe for a child and unsafe for anyone.
I'd call CPS. Maybe then she'll get her act together.
Sorry you are going thorugh this mess -- they sound like quite the nutters. That poor kiddo.
Yep, this.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
I agree this is a CPS issue.
I assume that you have tried to talk to SIL without MIL there and that it hasn't been received well?
Maybe an investigation by child services is the frying pan to the head that is needed to wake SIL up about this situation.
MIL is an assistant manager at the apartment complex that they live in. They can have the apartment fumigated for free but she has not. She's in serious denial. She keeps saying it's only on the couch, but she always has niece sleeping on the couch!
I don't know where you live but you should know that bed bugs are not a sign of a dirty home.
There was a bed bug epidemic in NYC about 6 years ago and my apartment became infested because they renovated the apartment next to me and stirred up all the bed bugs the former resident had.
You do NOT have to get rid of all the furnishings, beds, blankets, clothing, etc.
They need to hire a professional exterminator, one with certification in bed bugs. Yes, I know that sounds funny.
This professional will treat all the contents of the home with pylethium (sp?) and treat an plastic wrap all clothing, pillows, blankets, and all other wrapable stuff.
The place has to be vacated for 48 hours. No human or animals inside.
It's a sticky subject for most people to discuss but they shouldn't be embarassed.
The bed bug specialist I hired was also working on a $13 million coop in The Dakota, John Lennons former home. yikes!
THIS is why simply getting the ball rolling on an exterminator IS NOT ENOUGH.
That is horrible.... it's just the couch.... that I make my niece sleep on every night. Wow.
Yes. Notify Child Services.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
I know that it's not a sign of a dirty home. People of all walks of life can get bedbugs. That's not the issue. The issue is refusing to do anything about it. After two hospital trips for a 2 year old there's no way I would still be sitting there thinking nothing.
Quick question, do you know if bedbugs can be spread by humans? I.e.: if MIL was to come visit our apartment would there be a chance she could bring bedbugs with her, or do bedbugs stay in the furniture?
If the MIL/ SIL / niece brought anything from home (clothes, towels, bedding, stuffed animal - even the luggage), the bedbugs could travel with them and then FILs home (or wherever they were staying) could get infested.
Okay, I'll play.
What, exactly, do people think child protective services would do?
1- Clean the place to rid it of bed bugs?
2- Remove the child?
3- Scare the family into ridding the place of bed bugs?
4- Sadly, none of the above.
I think it will scare MIL into cleaning up the place or getting SIL to move in with FIL, as she keeps saying that she will.
Or, at least, that is my hope.
WWYD in this situation, livinitup?
Yep. Odds are that if your SIL and niece pack up and move to FIL's that they will bring the bed bugs with them.
On a positive note, there are no known pathogens that they transmit.
Honestly, probably not. This would not be high on their list of priorities. And, if it was that bad (so bad as to appear to be a neglect issue), the hospital would have already called CPS. You can call if you wish (and it won't hurt anything to do so), but I wouldn't expect anything to come of it given that CPS has limited time and resources. I'm not saying it's not a bad situation for the child, but neglect is notoriously hard to prove and since this is relatively "mild" compared to what they see, not much is likely to be done. Maybe you'll get lucky, though, and catch them on a day that's not busy or your town has enough caseworkers to investigate every call instead of triaging.
I personally would offer to 1., pay for fumigation AND help everyone move to FILs for thje 48 hours if I was that concerned. Beyond that, I'm not sure there's much you can do besides offer to let your niece live with you.
They would probably start an investigation by going to the home and if the home is infested and the child's health is in jeopardy, they could most certainly remove the child from the home. The occupants would then have to remedy the situation and endure another home visit/inspection before the child was allowed to return.
None of this will happen, however, until someone calls and reports them.
I agree that the standards for CPS vary greatly. And they tend to swing radically over the oddest of issues. I once saw a child removed from a home on the single neglect charge of "excessive ear wax". But that happened in NYC a few days after a child under CPS investigation died in a parent's home and there was a lot of press. Let's hope that was more of an over-reaction than trend. Is living with bed bugs neglect, worthy of removal? No. An investigation? No.
What would I do, as a sister? I'd probably investigate and pay for a fumagation and replacement furniture. This insistence that it is "only in the couch" is a bit silly, no? They are bugs with little legs that do travel. And even if that were true, the child is sleeping on the couch, so its not much of a defence against fumigation. I wouldn't waste my money - if I didn't believe they were taking REAL steps, I wouldn't pay for a halfassed ineffective measure. Which leads to the very sad conclusion, that ultimately I would have to admit that this was a parenting decision. Living there may be a really bad parenting decision, but its hers to make and I would have to admit that I had no choice in the matter.
Don't you find it ironic that under this senerio the system would go to all of the cost and trauma of removal, court, caseworkers and foster care - rather than pay the much, much, much cheaper cost of getting rid of the bed bugs?
Nowhere did the poster make any other reference for this child to not live in this home with her mother - yet, we'd expect the child to be removed before we'd expect the system to help solve the bug problem.
It's a CPS issue - maybe I am biased because I work for them? Some states can even help to provide services to help get rid of them, if they are unable to afford it. You could also contact the school if the children attend and then it would be the responsibility of the school to report it to CPS.
I think the central thing you have to keep in mind as a reaction to the "call CPS/remove the child from the home" issue is the question; "where is the child going to go?" In my state, a large number of the foster homes - well, bedbugs would be a step UP in quality of living. Not sure what it's like in your state, but dreaming that the kids who get placed in the foster care system are going to live in some magical, pure and clean Utopia is just that - a dream. It won't happen.
My advice is to do what you can with the mother and your MIL.... getting an exterminator (even "threatening" her by getting an outside one, even though she gets those services for free) and talking to the MIL and mother about your concerns. That's what I'd do, anyway...
Good luck!
I would call CPS & keep it anonymous.
That's unsafe & disgusting that she doesn't do anything about it. Bedbugs and other creepy crawly things happen-- especially in summer months-- but normal people do something about it.
Do your niece a favor, call CPS.