Family Matters
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F/U: Don't Know What To do...

Thank you for all the replies about my niece and the bedbugs.  I have only been to MIL's once since I found out about the bedbugs and dh has only been there twice (both for short visits).  We stayed in the corner and only sat at the dining room table for fear of bedbugs.  I noticed some bites on me the other day but just assumed it was no big deal.  Today I woke up with bits on my back (around my bra line) and my backside.  Judging from the pictures on the internet I've googled it looks like bedbug bites.  I'm LIVID.  I have an exterminator coming out tomorrow.  I don't know if we're going to have to end up throwing away our mattress and couch.  I sure hope not.  We really can't afford new ones at this point.  I told dh that, until she takes care of this problem I will not step foot in there or around there.  And, if he does, he can go stay at a hotel.  I know that sounds mean but this is ridiculous.

As for niece, I agree with pp's that CPS probably won't do anything.  The first time she went to the hospital she was diagnosed with scabies (which dh and I called BS on since we knew it was bedbugs).  Then she went because something bit her eyelid and made her eye swell shut.  I'm honestly surprised that the hospital didn't call CPS.  Dh is adamantly opposed to calling CPS.  I'm still on the fence...

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Re: F/U: Don't Know What To do...

  • Just so you know, you can file an anonymous complaint.
  • imagecasmgn:
    Just so you know, you can file an anonymous complaint.

    I'm strongly considering it.  Dh isn't home yet but he and I will be having a come to Jesus talk about it tonight.  He already called her about us having bedbugs and she fails to see how we could have gotten it from her.  

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  • Maybe the exterminator can talk some sense in to your DH. Him staying at a hotel isn't going to solve the problem since he can transport them.

    NOBODY should be visiting that home. It is sad your niece has a Mom and GM who don't give a damn about her well being.

  • imageFMIL&MOB:

    Maybe the exterminator can talk some sense in to your DH. Him staying at a hotel isn't going to solve the problem since he can transport them.

    NOBODY should be visiting that home. It is sad your niece has a Mom and GM who don't give a damn about her well being.

    I talked to dh via phone, he agrees that he will not go to his moms until this is taken care of.  His mom does not see how she could have any fault in this at all.  It is really sad.  They still have birthday parties for kids over there (they had nieces bday party just a week or two ago). 

    When I found out it's probably bedbugs I just started bawling.  I know that's ridiculous to do I just got so frustrated.  

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  • Just so you know, it's not just about going there - it's about them coming to you AND it's about your taking anything from their house to your house. As to your current situation, if it were me, I'd Google a local exterminator and find out if they're certified for bedbugs. Check them out on Yelp or other equivalent sites and pay to have your house cleaned. The longer you wait, the higher the odds that you will spread them in your own home.

    Good luck!

  • CPS will do nothing.   You can bring bedbugs home from school, movies, friends house, hotels or from the lady standing next to you at the store.

    Get a exterminator, don't wait.

     

  • imageRiRi157:

    CPS will do nothing.   You can bring bedbugs home from school, movies, friends house, hotels or from the lady standing next to you at the store.

    Get a exterminator, don't wait.

     

    We have an exterminator coming out tomorrow.  It's not about MIL getting the bedbugs, it's about her not doing anything about them and allowing niece to get bitten for weeks on end.

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  • imageRiRi157:

    CPS will do nothing.   You can bring bedbugs home from school, movies, friends house, hotels or from the lady standing next to you at the store.

    Get a exterminator, don't wait.

     

    Yes CPS will do something because they are refusing to clear up the problem and making the 2 year old sleep on the couch that is infested with them.  

     I have worked for child services and we actually had an issue with a house that had 2 small children that was infested and they did nothing about it. Both children were removed until it was cleaned out cleaned up and fumagated.

  • I read your original post and I'm not only concerned about your neice living in those conditions but another thing really stood out to me.  Does she really not have a pediatrician?  Does she not go for well visits?  Does she get vaccinations?  I know a lot of people don't believe in vaccinating and I don't want to start that debate but I do feel there is some sort of neglect there that your neice doesn't get regular doctor's visits. 

    image

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  • I work in a shelter where bed bugs are a common occurrence because the individuals that stay with us are often moving from place to place for temporary places to stay.

    Tips:

    • When you do go to your mother in laws: do not bring anything with you from your house as it could have bed bugs or eggs on it (ie. back packs, purses, a bag of clothes). 
    • When you get there immediately change your clothes and shower.
    • Change into clothes that are not from your house or have not come in contact with the clothes you left your house in.
    • Wash the clothes that you wore there in hot hot water.
    • They can also live in vehicles.
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  • imageStaceyW2009:

    I work in a shelter where bed bugs are a common occurrence because the individuals that stay with us are often moving from place to place for temporary places to stay.

    Tips:

    • When you do go to your mother in laws: do not bring anything with you from your house as it could have bed bugs or eggs on it (ie. back packs, purses, a bag of clothes). 
    • When you get there immediately change your clothes and shower.
    • Change into clothes that are not from your house or have not come in contact with the clothes you left your house in.
    • Wash the clothes that you wore there in hot hot water.
    • They can also live in vehicles.

    I would rather not go to my MIL's house than to jump through all of these hoops.  It doesn't seem worth it to go through a ritual every time just to visit someone's house.

  • What about overriding MILs belief that she's just fine living with the bugs (or in denial over having them) and having her son hire an exterminator and just get his mother's house rid of them?  I know it's not your responsibility....but I don't see being concerned over the child and not doing anything.  Sure, CPS can be called - but it is not as immediate as getting rid of the bedbugs.  I say get her son to strong arm the situation and have it taken care of.
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  • I'd just like to poin tout that if she's a manager in a building, then the whole building has got bed bugs. The owner is about to have a pretty big bill to clean the building. 
  • imagelivingitup:
    I'd just like to poin tout that if she's a manager in a building, then the whole building has got bed bugs. The owner is about to have a pretty big bill to clean the building. 

    Place a call to the property management company, aka your MIL's boss, and advise them of the situation.  But I'd tell your MIL first, because as far as I'm aware, that's severe neglect of her job duties as property manager and is a fireable offense.

  • imagelivingitup:
    I'd just like to poin tout that if she's a manager in a building, then the whole building has got bed bugs. The owner is about to have a pretty big bill to clean the building. 

    She is the assistant manager and yes the complex is over ridden with them.  They offer free fumigation to all the apartments.  Apparently there's a lot of steps that are involved with it (I think you have to bag up your clothes, tape up furniture, etc...) so it's not like we could just go in there and do that for her (nor do I want to be exposed to bedbugs again).  

    As for niece and the pediatrician.  I know she gets shots because SIL just posted on facebook that niece was getting shots this week.  However, whenever niece is sick (even if it's just the sniffles) she always takes her to the hospital, that's why I assumed there was no regular doctor.

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  • imageRiRi157:

    CPS will do nothing.   You can bring bedbugs home from school, movies, friends house, hotels or from the lady standing next to you at the store.

    Get a exterminator, don't wait.

     

    This is only partial true. It depends on where you live. I work for CPS and yes, they would intervene. This depends on how the referral comes through. If you state how long the problem has existed and that the family has refused to do anything about it then yes, they will respond. If you make repeated calls, yes, they will respond. I don't know if your husband can contact the school as a concerned relative, but then the school would be forced to call.

    Also, I saw the mention of scabies somewhere. If that was the diagnosis from the hospital, that requires special testing and it's not something I would expect a hospital to get wrong unless they were guessing. It is also misdiagnosed often and it requires special treatment (a special cream). My roommate caught it working in a hospital after caring for a homeless patient.

  • imageBlackDiamond3201:
    imageRiRi157:

    CPS will do nothing.   You can bring bedbugs home from school, movies, friends house, hotels or from the lady standing next to you at the store.

    Get a exterminator, don't wait.

     

    This is only partial true. It depends on where you live. I work for CPS and yes, they would intervene. This depends on how the referral comes through. If you state how long the problem has existed and that the family has refused to do anything about it then yes, they will respond. If you make repeated calls, yes, they will respond. I don't know if your husband can contact the school as a concerned relative, but then the school would be forced to call.

    Also, I saw the mention of scabies somewhere. If that was the diagnosis from the hospital, that requires special testing and it's not something I would expect a hospital to get wrong unless they were guessing. It is also misdiagnosed often and it requires special treatment (a special cream). My roommate caught it working in a hospital after caring for a homeless patient.

    I don't know what kind of testing went on.  She did get a cream which MIL used on her other two kids (dh's little brother age 10 and little sister age 8 live there also).  Both of them get bitten but not as much as the niece.  

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  • I think you should call CPS.  Regardless of whether you or internet strangers think they'll take action or not that's really up to CPS.  As a teacher I'm required by law to report anything I find suspicious no matter what.  I tell CPS my observations and they will evaluate whether or not it's something of a concern.  So, you can report it and CPS will make that call.
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  • I dont think you realize how serious bed bugs are, If they get into your house the will be in the carpet, drapes, stuffed animals, clothes, etc. They are very very hard to get rid of. You need to get a certified exterminator asap. If you so much as set foot in a bed bug infested place you can bring them to your house and the breed there. It's horrible.
  • imageeholiday:
    I dont think you realize how serious bed bugs are, If they get into your house the will be in the carpet, drapes, stuffed animals, clothes, etc. They are very very hard to get rid of. You need to get a certified exterminator asap. If you so much as set foot in a bed bug infested place you can bring them to your house and the breed there. It's horrible.

    I know how serious they are.  But, I cannot force MIL to do something about it.

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